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Alcohol

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Not to be confused with American piss-water beer

Alcohol — liquid which has been brewed, fermented or distilled, so it has a nasty substance in it that causes you to say stupid things, behave in a silly manner, and wake up the following day feeling like shoite (when drunk in vast quantities).

Alternatively...

Magically makes you smarter, wittier, tougher, and more sexually attractive (to the opposite sex, same sex, and farmyard animals). Also makes ugly women better looking (beer goggles), and gets you home without you needing to organise transportation (beer scooter), or indeed a coat (Beer Coat).

Examples include beer, cider, and whisky.

Also see grog.