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Aberdeen beach on the busiest and warmest day of the summer (-1'F)

City in north east Scotland.

Also known as the Granite City because of the preponderance of this in it's buildings. This results in a disturbingly high level of background radiation ... blamed for many of the things that Aberdonians are famed for.

Spiritual home of the Gordon Highlanders.

Citizens of Aberdeen have a reputation for frugality, its said that copper wire was created by 2 Aberdonians fighting over a penny.

(The above is quite untrue, Aberdonians save until they have 2 pennies, just to see if they have found the magical "breeding pair")

Aberdonians speak a strange dialect called Doric which frankly even they don't understand.

Also as cold as a cold thing in a cold part of deep space. Kids skin their knees on icebergs on the (quite respectable) long sandy beach, just don't expect donkeys ... just polar bears.

Aberdeen can be detected by rain, cloud and wind besetting any form of transport when hitting the city boundary. This will continue till you leave.

Three sheep tied to a lamp post in Aberdeen is known as a leisure centre...