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3rd Foot and Mouth

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3rd F & M Mortar Platoon

The 3rd Foot and Mouth Regiment is a fictional Highland infantry regiment portrayed in the 1968 film Carry on up the Khyber. They are famous for sticking it to the fuzzy-wuzzies and wearing skirts regardless of the prevailing weather.


Raised at Invercracking, Clackmannanshire on 25th January 1759 by Royal Order of King Cyclops I to assist in the Great Thistle Harvest of 1760.

Regimental Motto: Illud carduus es periculosus procerus.

Quick March: Have 'ye seen ma hairy coo?

Slow March: Sixteen bottles o' buckie/Buckfast Rhapsody in D Minor


Regimental History: From The Khyber to The Balkans

Regimental Journal: Devils in Skirts

Colonel-in-Chief: Col Peter Mandelson

Press Liaison Officer: Crimper in Chief His Honourable Viscount Gyros Scopius

Serving/Former Members of Note: