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Zwaffelling

#1
Trust the crazy sexy dutch...

A couple of years ago, a private (1st class) with 5 years experience in the Dutch army, who was training to be an underofficer at the under officer school was fired for "zwaffellen".

Zwaffellen (v), to hit an object or person with the penis

Our chap and his little chap had been the subject of a written complaint from a soldier of his platoon for "unwanted behaviour and damaging and befouling of property related to five colleagues". A prolific zwaffeller, was he.

He confessed as such to the military police -- he clearly stated that he had zwaffelled multiple times, including in the barracks room with soldier "C", and in the classroom before a maths lesson.

He appealed his sacking as disproportional, and his defence was roughly as follows:

His behaviour should not be qualified as delinquency. Zwaffelling is only unwanted behaviour if others are confronted with it against their will, which in his case was not the case ( keen for it they are). In any case, zwaffelling is a very common occurrence in the Dutch military, and conditions at the barracks had led to such behaviour, and 3 other zwaffelling soldiers had not been fired.

The appeal board agreed with our chap and his little chap.

I'm sure many of us have zwaffelled after having imbibed one too many beers -- but our chap appears to have been sober at the time, which is highly, highly suspicious....

Is this phenomenon restricted to the crazy, sexy dutch? Or have the boys of the British Army been zwaffelling their way around the world for centuries without even knowing what it was legally called?

http://zoeken.rechtspraak.nl/weekov...ntie=&searchtype=ljn&ljn=BI9886&u_ljn=BI9886‏
 
#2
What a great word! I demand we adopt it into the English language immediately.

To Zwaffle!
To engage in Zwaffling!
"Bugger me.... i've been Zwaffled"!

Love it.... i intend to rush home right now and try it on the dog!
 
#3
Doogonk said:
What a great word! I demand we adopt it into the English language immediately.

To Zwaffle!
To engage in Zwaffling!
"Bugger me.... i've been Zwaffled"!

Love it.... i intend to rush home right now and try it on the dog!
Is zwaffling a common precursor to anal sex?
 
#5
Tartan_Terrier said:
[
Is zwaffling a common precursor to anal sex?
It certainly appears to be in certain films of the "jazz" variety, particularly when the lead actor is trying to attain sufficient turgidity from his recalcitrant, flaccid member to attain entry onto B-range.

That is, however, an example of professional zwaffelling, and we are here concerned with the amateur variety that is liable to get one sacked if one does it to the Queen's mount while she is inspecting the troops.
 
D

dennis10

Guest
#6
We should deffo adopt this word. Zebra has had a long run as the word to describe Z in children's dictionaries but it's time for change.

'U is for Umbrella'
'V is for Vase'
'W is for Witch'
'X is for Xylophone'
'Y is for Yellow'
'Z is for Zwaffellen'
 
#8
I love to go a-zwaffeling,
Along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to swing,
My todger left and right.

Chorus:
Val-deri,Val-dera,
Val-deri,
Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-deri,Val-dera.
My todger left and right.
 
#9
stoatman said:
Tartan_Terrier said:
[
Is zwaffling a common precursor to anal sex?
It certainly appears to be in certain films of the "jazz" variety, particularly when the lead actor is trying to attain sufficient turgidity from his recalcitrant, flaccid member to attain entry onto B-range.

That is, however, an example of professional zwaffelling, and we are here concerned with the amateur variety that is liable to get one sacked if one does it to the Queen's mount while she is inspecting the troops.
Good point. Amateur zwaffling is a much more interesting concept.

It seems very popular in the Netherlands. In fact there's even a Facebook group for Zwaffelen fans.

http://www.facebook.com/s.php?q=zwa...7cb6230ebec886b0e40#/group.php?gid=2389269844
 
#10
When i come home on Friday pissed,
And the wife starts Fukkin waffling,
Imagine how suprised she'll be,
When she gets a damn good Zwaffling!
:twisted:
 
#13
What Wordsworth should have written:

I zwaffelled lonely as a cloud
That faps on high agin' vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of loveley zwaffellees;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Zwaffelling and fapping in the breeze.
 
#14
Whilst participating on Ex Snow Queen in the 70's we were quartered in the General Oberst Beck Kaserne in Sonthofen.

Many an evening I used to hear the sound of a strident Teutonic voice drifting across from the neighbouring block. "Hanz of ze Waffels you Schwein" was the cry. I thought at the time the Kraut Toms were breaking into the cookhouse.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
Is repeated zwaffelling against the object of one's desire merely enthusiastic zwaffelling, or is it plain old zwanking?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
jarrod248 said:
Biped said:
Is repeated zwaffelling against the object of one's desire merely enthusiastic zwaffelling, or is it plain old zwanking?
What does the manual say? I remember from shaking in the toilet that more than 3 shakes is self-abuse it could be the same with zwaffelling.
So the abuser is a self-abuser who happens to abusing another abusee, all by the simple and repeated application of a damned good Zwaffel!

You KNOW when you've been Zwaffelled!
 
#18
stoatman said:
Trust the crazy sexy dutch...

A couple of years ago, a private (1st class) with 5 years experience in the Dutch army, who was training to be an underofficer at the under officer school was fired for "zwaffellen".

Zwaffellen (v), to hit an object or person with the penis

Our chap and his little chap had been the subject of a written complaint from a soldier of his platoon for "unwanted behaviour and damaging and befouling of property related to five colleagues". A prolific zwaffeller, was he.

He confessed as such to the military police -- he clearly stated that he had zwaffelled multiple times, including in the barracks room with soldier "C", and in the classroom before a maths lesson.

He appealed his sacking as disproportional, and his defence was roughly as follows:

His behaviour should not be qualified as delinquency. Zwaffelling is only unwanted behaviour if others are confronted with it against their will, which in his case was not the case ( keen for it they are). In any case, zwaffelling is a very common occurrence in the Dutch military, and conditions at the barracks had led to such behaviour, and 3 other zwaffelling soldiers had not been fired.

The appeal board agreed with our chap and his little chap.

I'm sure many of us have zwaffelled after having imbibed one too many beers -- but our chap appears to have been sober at the time, which is highly, highly suspicious....

Is this phenomenon restricted to the crazy, sexy dutch? Or have the boys of the British Army been zwaffelling their way around the world for centuries without even knowing what it was legally called?

http://zoeken.rechtspraak.nl/weekov...ntie=&searchtype=ljn&ljn=BI9886&u_ljn=BI9886‏
Hello Stoadie,

Zwaffeling has taken on grotesque form since I left NCO school. What you call underofficer school is our Jr and Sr Brecon course combined into one.
When I was there a few years ago there were times when no-one would sit with his back to the door in my barracks room. Because you would inevitably be zwaffeled.

The trend broke the surface of general recognition when a posh school boy got fined for zwaffeling the Taj Mahal in India and putting a film of it on Youtube! since then everything has been zwaffeled: The palace on the Dam; Policemen; Churches; monuments and Marechaussees on guard outside palaces.

So our complaining little chap is in good company. His reaction to the -sometimes filthy- habit of dickslapping makes me think he is from a corps. Teeth arm people tend not to be so upset when confronted with another mans schlong making audible contact with their neck. Anyway, complaining is the cowards way out. The best thing is to take firm grip of your section members member and give it a proper twist... That will give him something to think about and -if you do it well- also spoil his weekend. (Not to mention his bell end :x )

When you take up zwaffeling, your member should be half erect. You will then achieve A: A larger member to zwaffel with; B: A better grip, for better impact and C: A more satisfying swatting sound when your manhood connects with its intended target.

Anyway. If you want to know more. ask Cloggie. He is a notorious zwaffeler in my old company. He is thought to be the one that zwaffeled a certain -generally disliked- warrant officers' pace stick and leave stains... This was the WOI that accompanied me to the KMS (NCO school) and gave me wrong instructions about when to be there and what dress to wear. He then had me stand on parade for the GOC in the wrong dress. So I had no motive AT ALL!!! Wuzn't me... :twisted:

Greetings from Holland!
 

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