Zombie outbreak

Gather up essential supplies and a dozen fub's for use as decoys / live bait - Make for the hills

Any Fub's which survive to the hills can be corralled and used for food
 
The daily mail doing a piece about their average readers.
 
Gather up essential supplies and a dozen fub's for use as decoys / live bait - Make for the hills

Any Fub's which survive to the hills can be corralled and used for food
FUBs?
 
Absolute bollocks... we all know that zombies, mong and divers retards thrive and flourish here on Arrse.

Shit Mail reporting. The first thing to do in the event of a zombie outbreak is to direct them to an Internet cafe and get them signed in to the Arrse chat room.
 
It's a well known fact that undertakers routinely tie corpses' shoe laces together.
Consequently, the zombie apocalypse will be a right laugh.
 
but have you got a big axe !!
I have (Aldi special) but I was bedded down for the basic axe users course. I do have two petrol chainsaws do they work?
 

DTBA

War Hero
My avatar picture will tell you that I have nothing to worry about, and that a zombie outbreak would either go completely unnoticed or be considered a slight improvement.
 
Gather up essential supplies and a dozen fub's for use as decoys / live bait - Make for the hills

Any Fub's which survive to the hills can be corralled and used for food
have you got a mini bus?
 

skid2

LE
Book Reviewer
In the Mail. And they spotted it. Don't worry the Express's 'Coldest winter in 60 years' will wipe them out. And the crack team of Diana killers. We'll be fine.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
I have (Aldi special) but I was bedded down for the basic axe users course. I do have two petrol chainsaws do they work?
oh yes
but its the sneaking up on them with the axe, and the lovely sound as it takes root, its so much more pleasing to the ear and far less messy than a chainsaw !!!
 
In the Mail. And they spotted it. Don't worry the Express's 'Coldest winter in 60 years' will wipe them out. And the crack team of Diana killers. We'll be fine.
Thank fuck, please close the thread
 
oh yes
but its the sneaking up on them with the axe, and the lovely sound as it takes root, its so much more pleasing to the ear and far less messy than a chainsaw !!!
Er Technician, heavy axe and probably take my own leg off.....won't my .177 bullets covered in garlic butter do the job? or is that vampires?
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Er Technician, heavy axe and probably take my own leg off.....won't my .177 bullets covered in garlic butter do the job? or is that vampires?
eeer I aint sure
frankly with my aim I would most likely shatter the house windows and miss them
one of those big African spear things would be more sensible, you would be well away from the sharp end of the business. much like the senior members of our government and military
 
My avatar picture will tell you that I have nothing to worry about, and that a zombie outbreak would either go completely unnoticed or be considered a slight improvement.
For sure in Barnsley...
 
eeer I aint sure
frankly with my aim I would most likely shatter the house windows and miss them
one of those big African spear things would be more sensible, you would be well away from the sharp end of the business. much like the senior members of our government and military
Would a blunt Gurkha kukri be ok? Is there a LOAC about killing Zombies with blunt knives? Not many Africans around here? Thanks for the advice so far
 

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