NSP
LE

Couple of years ago we had a guy in his late fifties onboard who during some downtime one night got to talking about his life living in Africa. He was proudly talking about his wife and how he'd paid for her classes and how she was one of this African countries upcoming young TV actresses now, with a major part on a popular long-running soap and so on.Fun fact
According to Bugsy he married his wife when she was around 16 and he was around 41.
Someone casually asked him how old she was. "Twenty-two," he replied.
And how long have you been married? "Oh, only three years."
"But we've been together almost twelve years."
Ha ha. Did she put out on the first date? "Well, yes - I insisted, actually."
Erm....
Turns out that ROV pilots are better at mental arithmetic than they are generally given credit for. All hell broke loose and someone with a cooler head and no daughters called the bridge. The OoW called the captain and the party chief from their bunks and our hero was - literally - locked in his cabin for his own safety whilst the boat was moved rapidly alongside to offload him before he got "damaged."