"You're a poo-poo head!"..."No, you're a poo-poo head" - Sticky for handbag swinging

[stacker1]

Calling @Helm bullshit icon required

Like all his other posts then

 

[StBob072]

Didn't you defend him not so long ago?

I tried that once.

Just once, mind.

 

[Ortholith]

You quite obviously have little to no idea how the translation industry works, bollock-brain. A translator is expected on average to get through about 1,200 words per eight-hour day. However, I can do 5,000 words per day. I get paid £75 per 1,000 words.

I also do a lot of proofreading. On average, a proofreader is expected to get through about 16,000 words of a bilingual text in a normal eight-hour day. I can do 35,000 words in the same time. I get paid £35 per hour for proofreading. Now work out yourself how much I *could* earn if I worked all the hours god sends. Only I don't do that. I work about 16 hours per week and easily earn enough for my basic needs.

MsG

I'll play Bugsy maths.

You do 16 hours per week.

If that's all translating it (according to you) works out at £750 per week or £37,500 per year with two weeks holiday.

A 50:50 split of translating and proofreading gives £655 per week or £32,750 per year with two weeks holiday.

Either I am a moron for routinely working 50 hour weeks when you can pull down a larger income for a third of the effort or you're talking bollocks.

 

[StBob072]

Considering your proud boast that you'd spent far more than half your life in Germany, yet you've no idea of the language, wibble etc. etc.

MsG

Could it be perhaps that he was in the British Army and may not have needed to speak fluent German much of the time? Bet you didn't think of that!

 

[Grouchy]

What is it that exactly needs translating so often and so much out of interest ?

 

[AdminVortex]

Just think how much of a penis Bugsy would be if he did take penis enhancing pills.

He'd be an uberpenis. Or, in his dialect of Swiss German, an ooburpenis.

Öobüürpenis. The trick to bugsy "Swiss" is to make whatever you're saying look like the logo of a 70's heavy metal band by spraying it with the umlaut chucker.

 

[Mighty_Blighty]

I'll play Bugsy maths.

You do 16 hours per week.

If that's all translating it (according to you) works out at £750 per week or £37,500 per year with two weeks holiday.

A 50:50 split of translating and proofreading gives £655 per week or £32,750 per year with two weeks holiday.

Either I am a moron for routinely working 50 hour weeks when you can pull down a larger income for a third of the effort or you're talking bollocks.

And don’t forget, while he’s earning all this money, it must be going straight into savings, as he lives in a hovel Bedsit in a shitty part of Nottingham.

 

[AdminVortex]

Here we go again Buggers. Because I said, I can't judge, didn't mean I wouldn't understand Swiss German or would be unable to look things up.
No matter if you can imagine that or not. And you don't have any proper clue of German.

It is simple if one has a working theory about your behaviour:
a) You sitting in your shit- and piss-stained pants in your Nottingham hovel always lie.
b) You are daft, to daft to lie, so daft that even the average pigeon outwits you.
c) You smell of shit, piss and vomit and even Foul Ole Ron would succumb if he had to smell you for more than 5 seconds.

Now to your little "text" that faintly resembles German. One just have to look up methodically what you wrote to call your bluff. Many of your words doesn't exist in Swiss High German, one can simply proof that by using his Google-Fu or using a simple Onlinedictionary. Some of them do exist, but in more than one case you make spelling errors.

Some of the words you use are in Alemannic dialect but here again spelling errors and so on.
My best bet is, you mix wildly Swiss German with Alemannic dialects and try to sell that as on par with a native speaker.

I know that you were dr Luschtbueb of fathers O'Malley, O'Higgis and O'Toole after they took turns on your Müetterli. That is why you also cry out for acceptance and recognition, things even Nottingham pigeons would only give you at gunpoint.
But you are to daft to make things up proper. It was the same thing back then when you told the (your) three fathers you had a more or less saddle-sore sphincter and then had to suck them off for the next weeks.

@DaManBugs, does it burn you that Krautie understands my schoolboy German, but not yours? It should.

 

[Tyk]

What is it that exactly needs translating so often and so much out of interest ?

My old neighbour made a 35+ year private business out of it and to say that he couldn't handle a lot of the work he was offered due to workload would be an understatement, but he translated official, time critical and technically specialist Government and regulatory documentation and had many years as a UK senior Civil Servant background. Multiple languages into English, no "mistakes an average speaker of one of his multiple laguages would make" either, mistakes like that could cause serious repercussions.
Now Brian made a very decent income from his skills, but not of the order that Bogbrush claims, 250k in a year when he put his mind to it. Pablo EscoBugs is lying.

 

[stacker1]

What is it that exactly needs translating so often and so much out of interest ?

All those contracts written in Swiss German that are really needed in the UK.
Which is odd when you think there are probably a lot more Swiss Germans who can manage English, than there is English speakers who could manage Swiss German.
Yet there is a queue of businesses at the door of a rundown hovel in Nottingham throwing money at a smelly old man.

 

[AdminVortex]

No Army Pension??

You sort of have to, you know, join first.

 

[AdminVortex]

That's right. I don't even think I'm entitled to one, either. Although I've never actually looked into it.

MsG

See above.

 

[OneTenner]

And don’t forget, while he’s earning all this money, it must be going straight into savings, as he lives in a hovel Bedsit in a shitty part of Nottingham.

Naaa... he's donating it to the socialist cause - those placards won't make 'emselves ya know!

 

[NSP]

All true because Bugsy told us how he put his kids through private schools on the back of his vast income.

Whilst no doubt decrying them as elitist bastions of the Establishment...?

How very socialist, the fucking hypocrite!

I mean, you'd never catch people on the political left like, say, Tony Blair or Diane Abbott doing that sort of thing, would you...?

 

[AdminVortex]

Is there a massive need for Swiss German Translation Bugsy? A 300k a year type job on offer?
Or is "Swiss German" now going to be your standard excuse when native German speakers point out your mistakes with the language?

It's almost like many speakers of Swiss German can't speak standard German. About as likely as the British army recruiting one of the vanishingly few people in Ireland who spoke Irish but no English.

 

[old_n_fat]

Öobërpenis. The trick to bugsy "Swiss" is to make whatever you're saying look like the logo of a 70's heavy metal band by spraying it with the umlaut chucker.

I think you meant to say umlaut werfer. Because that's what werfs umlauts.

You're welcome.

 

[AdminVortex]

You quite obviously have little to no idea how the translation industry works, bollock-brain.
MsG

Neither do you, clearly. It is necessary to be able to speak a foreign language well, first.

 

[Ortholith]

Neither do you, clearly. It is necessary to be able to speak a foreign language well, first.

He speaks fluent Gibberish, is that not good enough?

 

[NSP]

I'll play Bugsy maths.

You do 16 hours per week.

If that's all translating it (according to you) works out at £750 per week or £37,500 per year with two weeks holiday.

A 50:50 split of translating and proofreading gives £655 per week or £32,750 per year with two weeks holiday.

Either I am a moron for routinely working 50 hour weeks when you can pull down a larger income for a third of the effort or you're talking bollocks.

He also doesn't appear to be allowing for the taxman's wedge or NI, either.

 

[OneTenner]

I think the @rse has dropped out of the Swiss German market...

Prices | Erika Forni García

Prices for Direct Clients As I have a UK bank account, I can offer UK clients competitive rates for translations and proof-reading, starting at GBP 120 per 1000 source words for translations or an hourly rate of GBP 40 for proof-reading (with a minimum charge of GBP 30). The price will be based...

swissgermantranslations.com

BTW, she has proper quals - MITI & MCIL - have you @DaManBugs ?