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"You're a poo-poo head!"..."No, you're a poo-poo head" - Sticky for handbag swinging

Ha, ha! You post that and yet you describe me as a "shit-stirring (with a hyphen, actually:-D) moron"? Ah, the irony. Joo velli fonee mann!

My knowledge of German? Try me out! My German against yours, numbnuts.

By the way, I never stated that I didn't learn English until I joined the army. That's yet another case of the standard ARRSE strategy of: "repeat until true".

MsG
Um, yes you did. Remember the oath to the Queen you said you couldn't understand?

You even lie about lying.
 

Smeggers

ADC
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
We all seem to forget that poor misunderstood Thicko McThicktwat was only a wee boy of 17 or was it 18 when he joined the British Army. He then spent six years in the Royal Army Medical Corps as an Electrician/Artist/Parachutist/Sniper/Boxer and found time to compete I many Athletics events, setting national records in all events. His spare time was spent disarming police officers, grieving for his family - murdered twice, and restoring old paintings. Upon leaving the Army, this noodle-armed street fighter of some repute was enlisted by many universities to act as a translator - despite the fact he could only speak Pigeon English (or was that English Pigeon?). He studied history to such a degree that he was able to identify Otto Korzeny as the German officer who led a team of commanders to rescue Mussolini! His knowledge of ancient languages is incredible;
He speaks Irish like a native - native American
 
We all seem to forget that poor misunderstood Thicko McThicktwat was only a wee boy of 17 or was it 18 when he joined the British Army. He then spent six years in the Royal Army Medical Corps as an Electrician/Artist/Parachutist/Sniper/Boxer and found time to compete I many Athletics events, setting national records in all events. His spare time was spent disarming police officers, grieving for his family - murdered twice, and restoring old paintings. Upon leaving the Army, this noodle-armed street fighter of some repute was enlisted by many universities to act as a translator - despite the fact he could only speak Pigeon English (or was that English Pigeon?). He studied history to such a degree that he was able to identify Otto Korzeny as the German officer who led a team of commanders to rescue Mussolini! His knowledge of ancient languages is incredible;
He speaks Irish like a native - native American
That's right. He joined under the age of 18 in 1966 despite claiming to have been 73 in 2019, making his DOB 1946.

No, me neither.
 
You are confusing enforcing with setting rules. The Acadamie Francais has influence over companies because of (stupid) French laws, but not over the French people.

The French word for computer is "ordinateur". I have never yet heard a French person use it. I have worked for two French companies, just to back this up.

No-one has been fined, chastised or arrested for using the "wrong" word.

Theres also a rule about not using an English word if there's a French one and if there is no French word then a translation must be provided. (By accident or design this translations often hidden by seat backs or rails on public transport.

And of course the rule that they cannot speak English on the phone - so helplines* can listen to you in English but have to respond in French. It does of course backfire when you realise its tele sales calling and you lose all ability to communicate in French - Er sorry I dont speak French -

Or sometimes " Je suis Tres desole mais je regret a dit que je ne peut pas parle francais" and let them try to work out if i can or cant



* Lack of help lines is closer the mark - A typical example being French Telecom -
Good Morning my Phone lines Broken
Ah just hold and we will send a signal to check the line you should hear a...
Er no im using my friends phone because mine doesnt work
No you must call using your phone so we can check the signal
My line doesnt work - i cant call
You must use your phone

Freebox of course go one better and only provide an email contact in the event your internet has gone down

We should have let Hitler keep the cheese eating tossers
 
And of course the rule that they cannot speak English on the phone - so helplines* can listen to you in English but have to respond in French. It does of course backfire when you realise its tele sales calling and you lose all ability to communicate in French - Er sorry I dont speak French -

Slight diversion: French manager who has been in the UK for many years and being recalled to Paris head office (paraphrased): "I never knew how rude the French were until I worked over here. If I call the IT helpdesk in Paris, it gets ignored, nothing gets done, over here someone comes out to fix the issue. I'm not looking forward to going back and working with the French".
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
We all seem to forget that poor misunderstood Thicko McThicktwat was only a wee boy of 17 or was it 18 when he joined the British Army. He then spent six years in the Royal Army Medical Corps as an Electrician/Artist/Parachutist/Sniper/Boxer and found time to compete I many Athletics events, setting national records in all events. His spare time was spent disarming police officers, grieving for his family - murdered twice, and restoring old paintings. Upon leaving the Army, this noodle-armed street fighter of some repute was enlisted by many universities to act as a translator - despite the fact he could only speak Pigeon English (or was that English Pigeon?). He studied history to such a degree that he was able to identify Otto Korzeny as the German officer who led a team of commanders to rescue Mussolini! His knowledge of ancient languages is incredible;
He speaks Irish like a native - native American
You seem to have forgotten his prowess with a Desert Eagle!
 
That's right. He joined under the age of 18 in 1966 despite claiming to have been 73 in 2019, making his DOB 1946.

No, me neither.
He joined twice. But no surprise there... where else but a 1960s British Army cookhouse was he going to get three full on vegan squares a day before veganism was even a thing.
 
Slight diversion: French manager who has been in the UK for many years and being recalled to Paris head office (paraphrased): "I never knew how rude the French were until I worked over here. If I call the IT helpdesk in Paris, it gets ignored, nothing gets done, over here someone comes out to fix the issue. I'm not looking forward to going back and working with the French".

You should hear my missus 2008 -2010 Jumped up and down stampong feet whenever any one criticised French driving

2010 spent 6 months in UK
2011 - present hates French drivers with a vengance

The words I hate French people are often uttered in our house and never by me
 

Dark_Nit

LE
Book Reviewer
I feel the need to recount the history of Mr Bugs for our younger readers [with apologies to HG Wells' History of Mr Polly].
I will break it up into bitesize pieces.
Part 1

Date / Description
Jan-1920 Father Born
Jan-1922 Mother Born
Father - born September 1919
Mother - born June 1920
Father RAOC 1939 – 49, served at Monte Cassino in 1944

Jan-1946 Born -Dungannon
Jan-1948 Born again
Oct-1948 – born a third time
Allegedly has a twin sister.

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/how’s-your-german.284934/page-69#post-8738364

Was repeatedly beaten by his father who was “handy with his fists” before his father left when Bugsy was 5 months old, or 7 or 9 years depending on website

Jan-1956 In South Africa aged 10, or possibly 8
Started 34 year career as a talented amateur boxer (or maybe 27 years. Later claimed 27 as a welterweight)
Was “brought up in Ireland and Switzerland”

1940s
His street was bombed by a stray German aircraft in 1942
Unfortunately, the last German aircraft recorded in that area was in 1941 – in Dublin, approximately 70 miles from where he lived.

1950s
In South Africa for some period living with “an uncle”

1960s
Jan-1966 Joined British Army
Feb-1966 Alternative joining date
Or else 1963 age 17

Could not speak English on joining and did not understand the oath he took.
Was a vegan whilst in the army!

If you go back to the intelligence test post [below], he claims it was 55 years ago, back when he was 17. The post was made in 2018, which would be 1963. Bugsy claims to have been under-18 when he joined, With recent claims he was 73 in Nov 19, there is no way he could have been younger than 18 at the time of joining.

Was given an IQ test over 2 days on joining up and was in the top 0.5%
I took the test, along with all the rest in the troop, when I was 17 years old. That's 55 years ago. It was spread over two days (well, two afternoons) and we were already a week or so into basic training when we sat it. Our results came back about a week later in the form of a list with the IQ number and a rating. One-plus (1+) was the top 0.5 percent of the population, one (1) was the top five percent, two (2) was the top ten percent, etc. I think it went up to the number five, but I could be wrong there. To get into the 1+ group, you needed an IQ above 135 and my score was 138.
https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/how%E2%80%99s-your-german.284934/page-176#post-8802410

The above performance was extraordinary as he claims that he had limited English at the time having been brought up speaking Gaelic.
 

Dark_Nit

LE
Book Reviewer
Part 2

Oct-1966 BMH Hannover
Nov-1966 Attached to 12 Infantry Brigade (Post 139: Former BAOR warrior Dies)
Installed a secret intercom system at Harden Barracks to eavesdrop
Married possibly the first time
Spent between 5 and 7 years in 29 Field ambulance, depending on the thread [see below]

laalaa, thanks for some very interesting alternatives. Be aware that I spent 12 years in the British Army (as well as three years in the Swiss Army), so the meaning of the military vernacular (as opposed to a "colloquial tone") used is clear to me, but apparently not to you.

Google Translate

Alternatively:
I served at the RAMC for 12 years and we didn't do anything like that. Before that I was with the Swiss Army for 3 years and we never even wore hats like this. I have never heard other armies do anything like that. Maybe someone has a good idea?
Google Translate

Note: Gives his name on this website as “Kevin”

And allegedly has a Swiss Grandfather
The saying comes from my (Swiss) grandfather

And further

Although I don't spend sleepless nights with no answer to this point, I would still be grateful for any clarification for professional / private reasons.

Because of my different nationalities, I served in Switzerland (3 years) and in the UK (12 years) at the weapon (both as a medic). In the "British Armed Forces" it has the term "Walt". This is a person who claims to have earned any medals of bravery; to have acted as a member of special units; yet to have entire political systems, etc. various combinations and permutations. If you are interested, you can get an overview with the following Arrsepedia entry:


My difficulty is that the mere concept of the term is not even properly understood within Switzerland, since practically every member of the male sex has served the population, and especially in military exercise must come at regular intervals. As a result, trying to convince others in Switzerland that your CV is a “fearless daredevil and world first-class savior” would be doomed to fail.

The situation is different in the UK, where many members of the Armed Forces are currently losing their lives in support of the cowardice of the current government. There the truly incredible heroism, which every single soldier demonstrates every day, is quite rightly celebrated as something special. And it really is.

The problem is that many in the UK have noticed that these members of the undoubtedly best army in the world have received and still receive their well-deserved recognition and decided to sneak a slice of it. Such people buy what they need from E-Bay and then appear as heroes on various festive occasions. So far, many have been exposed, but it's not about me, but about the term "would-be hero", which is contained in the word "Walt". Is there a word or a term in the German language that actually includes this?
 

Dark_Nit

LE
Book Reviewer
Part 3
Became a professional German translator
1970 Approached by the Stasi to become an informer, and the British and the US Army.
Depending on the website and thread he spent 6, 8, 9 or 12 years in the RAMC / army / armies.
~1972 Left the army – dates flexible between 1970 and 1973 depending on website
(Former BAOR Warrior Dies post# 192)
Sometime in 1972 was in In America with Paratroopers and jumped from a Hercules with the US Paras during parachute training.

I mentioned that you have to complete the 8 jumps a year with the British Army to get the "jump allowance". In 1972 I was in America with the paratroopers and we completed the jumps (but only 5) there. This brought us not just another year of allowance, but also the Ami "wings" that we could attach to our chests.

The Americans have a different attitude to parachuting than the British. They are much stricter. With us, everyone was (and is) responsible for their own equipment, while with the Americans the backman inspects your stuff and pats you on the back, that everything is alright. Then it's your turn with your front man. And that 10 minutes or so before the actual jump. The Americans also have the rule "6 up, 36 out", ie 6 inches high (to go beyond the nonexistent threshold) and 36 inches (about 1 meter) to avoid the air turbulence along the side of the plane. We just go casual out of the open door. With "jumping" there is nothing, we just fall out.

Even the T10 parachutes of the Americans are murderous. With our Mk8 parachutes, the ropes come out first and then the umbrella opens. At the ami-glider first the glider opens and then you fall about 15 meters, until the lines are taut. That's a pretty hard kick, and if you did not put the straps right in step, you can sign up at the boys choir.

On our last jump, there was a captain of the "Rangers" who was constantly rambling about his fitness. He jumped in front of me and broke his lower leg on an unfortunate landing. I landed a short time later and was scheduled to look after him until the ambulance arrived. As he lay there, I asked him, "Sir, you're awesome, are not you?" He nodded proudly. "Then do some push-ups while we wait," I said. For the kind of humor, the Ami officers have now no understanding, and certainly not if it comes from a corporal. He complained and afterwards I got a giant cigar in the presence of the captain missed by our commander, who could hardly suppress his smile the whole time



Spent 4 years in the USA (dates unclear)
Spent 3-4 years in Swiss Army [allegedly] despite not being a Swiss citizen (only Swiss citizens are allowed to serve)


Another “milit” question, comrades. There are different terms for "house warfare" (COIN operations). Specifically, it's about the following paragraph:

“They change the fucking acronym about once a week, I don't know why. At some stage we had 'CQB' (close quarter battle), then they came up with 'FIBUA' (fighting in built-up areas) and after that 'COIB' (combat operations in buildings), apart from a whole load of other natty terms in addition. We just never bothered and carried on calling it 'FISH & CHIPS', which means: 'fighting in somebody's house and combat hostilities in people's streets'. At least then we all knew what the fuck we were talking about ”.

So the question is: does it have different expressions for "house fighting" in German, or do I have to come up with something? Since I served for three years with the Swiss army (and also 12 years with the British), I asked former comrades in Switzerland, but so far without any result. They only know (like me) the "house fight".
 

Dark_Nit

LE
Book Reviewer
Part 4
Became an expert gymnast & international trainer
Received training licences from the IAA (Irish Athletics Association), the DTB (Deutscher Turnerbund - German Gymnastics Association) and the IGA (International Gymnastics Association)
Allegedly arrested 5 (or 7 depending on the website) times under the “Prevention of Terrorism Act” between 1978 and 1993 – which wasn’t actually brought into law until 2005 and was repealed in 2006 in favour of the “Terrorism Act”

1975 Moved to W Berlin having completed training as a picture restorer.
(THAT Rifle Post #185)
Lived in Berlin "continuously for 19 months" in late 70's" post #39 "East Germany in racist Neo-Nazi shocker - Tell us it isn't true Bugsy"

Jan-1975 Family topped by British Army including uncle, my aunt, my cousin and my sister
1975 In GDR for 14 months
Ran 100m in 10.04s, later “corrected” to 10.4s as part of a relay team allegedly as a “stand in” for the GDR team. Note that this would have been an Irish record.
Obtained a Degree in History of Art
Became a university lecturer in the GDR (unspecified institution).
1975 Trained as picture restorer and moved to West Berlin
Also trained as a dressmaker and used to make all his wife’s dresses.

Against that decidedly shaky set of highly dubious and totally unconfirmed “qualifications”, I offer my one degree in Art History and 40-plus years of highly relevant experience with drugs of all kinds. ARRSErs may think of me what they will, but as a dealer in and user of heroin, among many other drugs, I bring legitimate “user” experience to the party and I’m of the opinion that I can still do a lot to bring down to earth all the tall tales (and total bollix) about drugs and contribute to a generally better and much more informed understanding of what motivates folks to indulge in drugs in the first place and how we can improve our society so that our valuable youth sees another and more positive way of getting on in life and not accepting the hopelessness they’re born into and which they see no way of escaping from. We owe them that much at a very minimum and we should do all we can to find a solution to the “problem”.

1977/78 claimed to be in the GDR

Allegedly working on building sites. Probably inspired by repeats of Auf Wiedersen Pet – which he regards as a documentary.
Union mediator for construction workers – on the hod or not
1978 Living in West Berlin near Templehof
You must have a fückin' shite system, then! I never stated that I'd ever lived in Tempelhof. I had a gaff in the Karlsruher Straße in Wilmersdorf and, later, another "pied-a-terre" in Dröpkeweg, Buckow. That's what happens when you invent stuff, see.

1978 Organised an art exhibition on behalf of the GDR Ministry of Culture
Late 1970s GDR for 19 months (or 14 months depending which post)
USSR for 18 months
Met and partied with Iggy Pop and David Bowie in Berlin
Poland 14 months (or 6 months depending which thread.)
Jan-1978 Family topped by British Army 2nd time
May-1978 Arranged art exhibition in Berlin
1979 Married again
Dec-1979 Spent some time in Afghanistan
Trained as a sniper with the mujahadeen

Arrested 5 times under “The Prevention of Terrorism Act”

List of his posts on this forum:
 

Dark_Nit

LE
Book Reviewer
Part 5
1980s


Jan-1980 Could not get a Visa to enter the USA
Dec-1980 Left Berlin
1981 Working on the development of computer translation programmes to a date unspecified
1982/3 Was in the Falklands as a “reserve medic” or “supernumerary” or wasn’t really there at all as he
1985 – 1987 Drug dealing in SE Asia (My “activities” in SE Asia were during the years 1985/87.) Finally a Nation with Some Balls 2015 post #1056

"Oh dear, ex-creep, you are at great pains to somehow document some sort of “discrepancy” aren’t you? My “activities” in SE Asia were during the years 1985/87. After that, I was “active” (for want of a better word) in Switzerland (Zürich) and northern Italy (Milan). I made an absolute fückin’ arseload of dough servicing a ready market, fella! It put our kids though school in Ireland, Switzerland and Italy and funded our later lives. I still maintain that drugs should be across the board de-legislated. How about that?"
https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/finally-a-nation-with-some-balls.225066/page-53

I no longer "operate" and haven't done so since 1990. But when I was "active", as it were, it was in Thailand, northern Burma (Myanmar), Malaysia, Singapore and Bali. Good times
https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/finally-a-nation-with-some-balls.225066/

Drug dealing paid for his children's schooling
1988 Mother died aged 80 (or 68 if you do the maths)
Feb-1989 End of Russian Afghan war (when he may have been with the Mujis possibly 12 months)
Had a “cabby with a Dragunov using reloaded brass…”

1990s
Feb-1990 Moved back to E Germany
Moved back to East Germany post beginning of Feb 1990 and remained there until Dec 1996 Post #37 "East Germany in racist Neo-Nazi shocker - Tell us it isn't true Bugsy".

Feb-1990 Cottbus
~1990 Switzerland / Italy drug dealing again
Dec-1996 Left E Germany

"I remember when I moved to Cottbus in early 1990. The university there had four teams and one of them allowed me to participate. I was the second bowler and the other team had scored 8 runs. I bowed 2 overs in a row and with that the whole team was "out",because no one coped with my accurate 85 mph Yorkers. We won by just laying 12 runs afterwards (we only played 1 innings per team). That was the shortest game of my life "I was always amateur But played 8 years in the "Pongo" (British Army) team against the "Crabs" (British Air Force) and the "Andrew" (British Navy)"
Cricket - Language lab: English ⇔ German Forums - leo.org

2000

2001-2004 working for Siemens on a super train project. Rode the train on the German test track
Wrote two books called “Backlash” and “Roadless” [never published, no trace found]
2002 – 2004 Birmingham (192.com)
Working as a translator for a “UK company based in Germany”. Was sacked. Possibly referring to Siemens again.
Jan-2008 Mother died aged 87 or 88 (depending on the post)
Or aged 80 in 2008
Age 61 - 1.5 miles in 9:33 seconds (best effort), 56 pullups in 2 minutes, 79 pushups in 2 minutes, 85 sit-ups in 2 minutes (all best effort). I also do 10,000 metres in 47:31. I'm 61 years old

 

DaManBugs

LE
Book Reviewer
So where's the lie? I stated that I began learning English when I was nine. Our teacher at the time was a certain Mr Coward, who really was English. He was a Major in some infantry regiment during WWII, married an Irish lass in the UK after his demob and moved with her to Ireland.

What Brits don't understand about learning their language is that they've no concept of any standard pronunciation. In other countries, the official language of tuition in schools is the standard pronunciation of that particular language. Naturally, when school's out, the kids revert to their normal dialect, but they also get a feel for the standard pronunciation of their country. In fact, they can go to certain areas and actually hear the standard pronunciation as a living dialect. That's not the case in the UK. Queen's English, Oxford English, Received Pronunciation isn't spoken anywhere in the country as a normal dialect.

The result is that a "foreigner" is confronted with dialects that have little or nothing in common with what s/he's learned at school and the speakers have no concept of reverting to any standard pronunciation. An English teacher from Scotland could move to, say, London and just carry on teaching English with her/his Scottish dialect.

When I moved to the UK to join the British Army, I expected everyone to speak like Mr Coward - but they didn't. However, once in the army, the comrades went to great lengths to help me learn the language properly. I was very grateful for the time and trouble they took. The British Army was also the ideal organisation to become acquainted with not only many if not all Brit dialects, but also spoken English from all the former Commonwealth countries and territories.

MsG
 

Dark_Nit

LE
Book Reviewer
Part 6
Post #155 "HOW'S YOUR GERMAN?"
Claims to have been translating for 40 years.[/QUOTE]

Was co-opted onto SWP committee “comrade Delta”

2005 – claimed to be a “British Army trained weapons instructor” (urban75)
2005 joined Arrse as “Bugsy”
2008 Binned from urban75 as Bugsy7
2010 Binned again from Urban75 as “bugsy” for insulting an adult (repeatedly)
Arrse as various names such as TAFKAB, Kalle_m and other crap names
2010 rejoined arrse as DaManBugs
2013 – hoofed from Left Unity for being the wrong sort of left

Claims to be a member of:
• The Royal Army Medical Corps Association
• The British Army Veterans Association (There is no such thing)
• The Aden Veterans Association -
• The Northern Ireland Veterans Association

Goes under several aliases including Gionn Caiomhin Morpheagh (his favourite)
Allegedly this is on his birth certificate


Key Skills:
• Fast bowler at cricket (85 mph), bowled a side out in 2 overs.
• Boxing skills at welterweight and “on the cobbles”
• Translator (speaks 5 languages)
• Medic (29 FA)
• AFV Driver
• British Army qualified arms instructor
• CQB /FIBUA specialist
• A.T.O (implied with his ammunition handling skills)
• UK Parachutist
• US Parachutist
• Weapons instructor to Mujahadeen
• Swiss Army
• Picture restorer
• Author
• Electrician
• Sniper (abilities not profession)
• Olympic standard runner
• Gymnast
• Made double glazing units https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/double-glazing-salesmen.131184/page-5#post-3138457
I have worked on building sites; and not only in Ireland, but also in Germany, Italy and America. I also "ran the hod" all day (although in Italy, you strap it to your back), and my little "party trick" was going straight up to the third and fourth floor via the scaffolding poles and balancing the hod on me shoulder. Mind you, you can only do that safely if you're a trained gymnast (as I am). https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/how-to-carry-bricks-when-youve-no-hod.98517/#post-2191674
• Heroin dealer https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/heroin-on-prescription.133550/page-7#post-3204238

Has served in 4 wars (allegedly) including Operation Corporate, as well as being a steely-eyed cold war warrior.

Has been active on the following internet forums at various times:

  • Urban75 (hoofed for insulting an adult) (twice, as Bugsy7 and Bugsy);
  • LeftUnity;
  • military.com (banned);
  • TheForum;
  • Revleft (banned);
  • internationalsocialistnetwork.org;
  • breitbart.com;
  • uncommondescent.com and
 
So where's the lie? I stated that I began learning English when I was nine. Our teacher at the time was a certain Mr Coward, who really was English. He was a Major in some infantry regiment during WWII, married an Irish lass in the UK after his demob and moved with her to Ireland.

What Brits don't understand about learning their language is that they've no concept of any standard pronunciation. In other countries, the official language of tuition in schools is the standard pronunciation of that particular language. Naturally, when school's out, the kids revert to their normal dialect, but they also get a feel for the standard pronunciation of their country. In fact, they can go to certain areas and actually hear the standard pronunciation as a living dialect. That's not the case in the UK. Queen's English, Oxford English, Received Pronunciation isn't spoken anywhere in the country as a normal dialect.

The result is that a "foreigner" is confronted with dialects that have little or nothing in common with what s/he's learned at school and the speakers have no concept of reverting to any standard pronunciation. An English teacher from Scotland could move to, say, London and just carry on teaching English with her/his Scottish dialect.

When I moved to the UK to join the British Army, I expected everyone to speak like Mr Coward - but they didn't. However, once in the army, the comrades went to great lengths to help me learn the language properly. I was very grateful for the time and trouble they took. The British Army was also the ideal organisation to become acquainted with not only many if not all Brit dialects, but also spoken English from all the former Commonwealth countries and territories.

MsG
So the issue is that you actually understood English fine but only in one accent?
 
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