Your MP's Lament

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Monty417, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. I WANT A FLOATING DUCK HOUSE
    I WANT TO CLEAR MY MOAT
    I NEED TO MEND MY TENNIS COURT
    THAT'S WHY I NEED YOUR VOTE.

    I HAVE TO BUILD A PORTICO
    MY SWIMMING POOL NEEDS MENDING
    MY LOVELY PLANTS NEED HORSE MANURE
    AND THE AGA NEEDS MUCH TENDING.

    A CHANDELIER IS VITAL
    MOCK TUDOR BEAMS ARE GREAT
    MY HANGING BASKETS HAVE WON AWARDS
    AND I'M DUE A TAX REBATE.

    I MUST HAVE A GLITTER TOILET SEAT
    MY BABY GRAND NEEDS TUNING
    MALTESERS HELP ME STAY AWAKE
    AND MY ORCHARD NOW NEEDS PRUNING.

    I COULD HAVE SAID THE RULES WERE WRONG
    AND OFTEN THOUGHT I SHOULD
    BUT SOD IT, IT WAS EASIER
    TO MILK IT ALL I COULD.

    THE PUBLIC REALLY HAVE TO SEE
    THAT THE RULES ARE FULL OF FLAWS
    AND BY CONNING SILLY TAXPAYERS
    WE WERE NEVER BREAKING LAWS.

    THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE HAS GONE
    OUR SACRIFICIAL BEAST
    BUT THE PUBLIC STILL ARE BRAYING
    FOR OUR CORPSES AT THE FEAST.

    WHAT DO THE PUBLIC EXPECT OF US?
    THOSE VOTE-WIELDING INGRATES!
    THEY REALLY SHOW NO GRATITUDE
    TO BE FINANCING OUR ESTATES.

    THE MESSAGE IS SO VERY CLEAR
    (WE'RE SIMPLY LEARNING LATE)
    THAT THE BRITISH WAY TO LIVING WELL
    IS TO SCREW THE BLOODY STATE.