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Your MP's Lament

#1
I WANT A FLOATING DUCK HOUSE
I WANT TO CLEAR MY MOAT
I NEED TO MEND MY TENNIS COURT
THAT'S WHY I NEED YOUR VOTE.

I HAVE TO BUILD A PORTICO
MY SWIMMING POOL NEEDS MENDING
MY LOVELY PLANTS NEED HORSE MANURE
AND THE AGA NEEDS MUCH TENDING.

A CHANDELIER IS VITAL
MOCK TUDOR BEAMS ARE GREAT
MY HANGING BASKETS HAVE WON AWARDS
AND I'M DUE A TAX REBATE.

I MUST HAVE A GLITTER TOILET SEAT
MY BABY GRAND NEEDS TUNING
MALTESERS HELP ME STAY AWAKE
AND MY ORCHARD NOW NEEDS PRUNING.

I COULD HAVE SAID THE RULES WERE WRONG
AND OFTEN THOUGHT I SHOULD
BUT SOD IT, IT WAS EASIER
TO MILK IT ALL I COULD.

THE PUBLIC REALLY HAVE TO SEE
THAT THE RULES ARE FULL OF FLAWS
AND BY CONNING SILLY TAXPAYERS
WE WERE NEVER BREAKING LAWS.

THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE HAS GONE
OUR SACRIFICIAL BEAST
BUT THE PUBLIC STILL ARE BRAYING
FOR OUR CORPSES AT THE FEAST.

WHAT DO THE PUBLIC EXPECT OF US?
THOSE VOTE-WIELDING INGRATES!
THEY REALLY SHOW NO GRATITUDE
TO BE FINANCING OUR ESTATES.

THE MESSAGE IS SO VERY CLEAR
(WE'RE SIMPLY LEARNING LATE)
THAT THE BRITISH WAY TO LIVING WELL
IS TO SCREW THE BLOODY STATE.
 

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