Your most embarrassing experience



Mine was when I went to Tenerife a couple of years back with two friends.
We went into this bar where there was a Celine Dion tribute type singer. The bar was packed and the only free seats we could see were right over at the back on the edge of this elderly couple's table.
We walked over and asked if it was ok if we could sit with them, they agreed.
After getting drinks from the bar, we settled back to listen to the female singer. After a while we started slagging off the Celine Dion bird, saying things like she wasn't that good a singer, it looked like she was wearing an ill fitting wig, I bet she gets the ride every night etc etc. Basically running this girl to the ground.
After her next number, the Celine Dion bird started chatting to the crowd and explained that she came from Manchester.
She also said 'We love shopping don't we Mum?'
to which the elderly lady we had been sat with for the last half hour replied 'Yes Dear' whilst giving me and my two friends evils!!
Needless to say with very red faces, we sank our beers and got the fcuk out of there!!

There was also another embarrassing experience I had which involved me, some stairs, and my gusset on show at the bottom of them. I'll let you work out the rest!


I wouldn't worry about the stairs incident, I know a girl who would've been glad to have had a gusset for all to see after she fell, not something else!
Can i start this by saying, I was VERY VERY drunk....

Was going out with a girl some time ago, that SB knows. Anyway, one drunken night, we got round to dares, which as the booze flowed, got worse and worse.
Which culminated in me being nekkid, and dared to "Shove my willy into next doors letterbox"

being pissed and infantry, it was a done deal, so opening the front door (block of flats) I proceeded to move tactically (well, erractic zig-zag) across the landing , to insert my appendage.

I had just got the flap of the letterbox up, when behind me, I heard the dreadful sound of the door slamming shut. The surprise led to me dropping the spring loaded letterbox on me old man (That hurt).

Howling in pain, I tried to extricate meself, just as I heard the occupants of the flat I was space invading say "Is there someone there?" The only sound I could hear from my flat, was a sort of repressed gurgling howl.

She later admitted, that she thought she'd done herself an injury, she was laughing so hard the bitch.

Allied to that, I then notice through the glass door of the flats, a car was pulled up, with the headlights on, and I'm sure they saw me, standing there naked, clutching me todge.

Entreaties to "For fcuks sake open the door", were met with more gurgling howling, till eventually she opened the door , on her kness, with tears rolling down her bloody face, simultaneous with the door behind me opening. So, they got a good look at me arrse.

Took a long time to live that one down.

She did remark however, that she was not happy with the single girl downstairs smiling at me on a regular basis  ;D


Not a normal situation for me but...

In ireland I had a stalker who would not leave me alone whenever I was i one of the bars on 'the strip'. She wasn't too bad looking but had a strong case of dependancy, on anything and anyone.

After getting pissed up/off one night i left early, staggered to bed and stayed til late the next day only to be woken by a mate saying that this girl had left looking for me and dissapered for ages. They found her sitting at the end of my bed watching me sleep about an hour later.
That scared me well off until the fateful night of being even more pissed about a month later, feeling horny, and found myself up to my nuts in guts with her on top of me!
thankfully the opposite of brewers droop was in effect a situation she decided to comment upon.
"somebodies had a lot to drink tonight"
Being drunk any chance of being polite was out of the window so my response was simply
"of course, I'm fcuking you aren't I?" :eek:
the thing that still sends shivers down my  spine was the fact that she stopped, but didn't 'get off' said nothing and carried on!
I don't know if she enjoyed herself as, to add insult to injury, I fell asleep under her!
Waking up the next morning, amazed to find myself all in one piece I finally had the epiphany that this girl was definately not for seeing again.
Worked out well in the end, about 2 years later she married an aquaintance and the probably lived .. somthing.. ever after! :-[ ;D
was going to make an entry hear but thought everybody might want to keep thier breakfast inside them ;D
Was to do with a pair of shorts, flip flops, chip shop, tiled floor, no undies and a violent follow through....

Not pretty, down the back of my legs & between the bottom of my feet & the flip flop, very ill
Come and wipe it then ;D


Ok here's how to impress your mates missus...

get really drunk at a wedding, so drunk you cant string a sentance together...

Now when your mate offers to do the right thing and dumps you in the spare bed of their married quarter, wake up in the middle of the night, hose down the entire room with P**s then strip off naked and try and climb in bed with your mate and his missus!!!

Next day wake up and hope to god it was all a bad dream...

Then spend a weeks wages on cleaning products and chocolates and hope you never see your mates missus again...

so i ve heard anyway... 8)


I was flying back from Belfast city airport on my tod and as i got there a bit early decided to have a quick ale while waiting for my flight.
3 pints later i got on the plane and settled down to finish my magazine.
halfway through the flight , the consequence of 3 pints took its toll and so i turned around to find the bog only to discover to my horror that these little pond jumpers had NO toilets whatsoever.

I ended up swamping myself in my seat and then had to spend the rest of the flight and the walk through the airport looking like i was wearing chaps.
Horrible , but probably not as bad as the poor bloke who was sitting behind me who got the soggy socks. :-[ :-[


My most embarassing moment was after a bit of live firing at otterburn and because I'd picked up an injury I ended up brass sorting with the Pt Sgt. Everyone had gone back to camp by the time we finished so we headed home in the rover. We'd been going about an hour when he started to nod off at the wheel, so he pulled into a service station. He stayed outside to get some air and I went in for a brew and  a kit kat, it was quite late and I was the only person in there until a little old woman came in, she bought a tea and a fairy cake and sat opposite me. She then proceded to take a stick of my kit kat! I thought cheeky bint, and had a stick myself, at which piont she gave me a look like a summons and ate the last two sticks of my chuffing kit kat! Being a little old dear I could really go off on one, but thought I'm buggered if your getting away with it. I stood up to leave, picked up her fairy cake went right up to her face and with a MURRUMMPPHHH sound stuffed her cake in my mouth in one and walked out feeling quite satisfied. We got back in the rover and continued on our way. About fifteen minutes into our second leg of the journey I fancied a cig and when I went into my pocket I found MY kit kat!! :eek:




WOW! I checked out your link, and I can't believe that poor sweet old lady suffered the exact same embarassment as me!!!!
You know, I've been spinning that yarn for years and your the first person to rumble me! Never mind eh?
Still a cracking tale though! :-[


And doubtless there's a number of lefty grannies have been whinging for years about some hairy-arrsed squaddie nicking their cream cakes in service stations too!!! ;D


:-/ Not sure if this is embarrasing or not but it definately was at the time.  Last week, girlie night out, lots of the alcohol based liquids downed and we wanted a taxi to a nightclub from the pub.  There we were in back of said cab doing what us girlies do and I have to admit to their being the occassional swear word thrown in.  Up pipes cabbie "Would you mind keepin the language down ladies" to which matey replies "You're avin a laff intcha"  Cabbie replies "Yes I fookin am".

Anyway, conversation flows, cabbie throws in he is 35 and single.  We are looking at meter in horror as we had to travel long way round due to road works.  So dumb shmuck pish 'ead 'ere pipes up with "How much you gonna drop the fare to if ya get a kiss at the destination?"  Cabbie replies "£4".

Arrive at said destination, cabbie kept his word and fare was £4 so I got to pay up with the kiss after all fair is fair huh  ???  I lean through the little window and give him a kiss which (and I didnt mean it to) turns into a full blown wackerooney snog  :-[

But then omg get this, Cabbie pulls back and says "Fcuk me girl look what you done to me"  and pulls out his fully erect todger.  Cabbie then asks where I live and what me phone number is to which I reply "Cant remember" and flee.

The embarrasing thing about this tale??

Not the fact he got his todger out in my full view as I could take that more as a compliment of my snogging technique  ;)  I am embarrased that I didnt give him my phone number .............. I mean a gal can never get a cab when she wants one lol
 I am embarrased that I didnt give him my phone number .............. I mean a gal can never get a cab when she wants one lol
I'm here and ready and waiting.  PM me your number, and I'll take you out tonight for a drink !!


Oh my gawd  ??? I have just thought of another REALLY embarrasing experience I had.  :-[

One evening a friend of mine popped around who happens to be male.  Me thinking nothing of the items I had laid around my lounge  :-[ invited him in and made him a coffee.  Let me just say here that said friend is just a friend and like a brother.

Anyway, I had an "ornament"  :-[ sat on the table and said friend turned to me and said "Please tell me that is some kind of new ornament"  I turned to where he was pointing and  :eek: omg it was BOB  :-[

And before anyone asks I am not elaborating on what/who BOB is on here, if you cant work it out and want to know please IM me


ok here is a story that happend to my mate!  :p

One night a friend of mine had consumed almost 2 bottles of wine and was quite pissed.  She had a male friend stopping with her at the time as he had been made homeless.
This particular night he got back to hers from work to find the empty wine bottles on the lounge floor and went thro to the bedroom where he found her fully dressed but fast asleep with the phone in one hand and her vibrator in the other.
He took the phone and hung it back up but there was no way he was taking anything else from her.  Anyway, he was sharing her bed as she only had the one, when in the middle of the night he was woken by a strange sound.  He put his ear to the matress and discovered it buzzing.
Fearing the worst he raised his head only to find that she was still zonko so the next best thing was to wake her.  "WHAT?" was her reaction after a few shakes.  "Cant you hear that noise?" he said.  "WHAT DO YOU FECKING WANT?" she said.  He tried to get her to put her head to the matress to listen but she was full of indignation at being woken in the middle of the night.  When she finally did put her head down to listen, she jumped up in horror and put her hand in the bed to find that she had rolled over onto the vibrator in her sleep which switched it on.  
He said she flung it out of the bed and onto the floor and promptly went straight back to sleep.  One of the best things about all of this is that he didnt tell her about it for almost 12 months and she couldnt remember a thing about it - not even the next morning!!!!!  At least she can laugh about it but at the time he told her she nearly died from the embarrasment


Roflllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll IBytch that certainly beats my story  :D