Your lowest point

#1
In a discussion today with one of the cnuts from this site and former same capbadge wearer, we were yapping about low points in our lives.

it reminded me of a time only a year or two after I'd left the service of her Majesty thinking that I was an overnight rockerfella and full time dude.

Reality son hit and I ended up well and truly skint. Lots of pants things happened, but one particularly memorable point was the Mrs announcing it was rag week, and I didn't have a single pfennig to nip out and get her some jam rags. Short of kneeling down and necking a full periods worth I had little choice but to call a pal and tell him the story.

He tipped up in ten minutes flat, but instead of lending me a few quid, the jack cnut lobbed me a box of cnut plugs and announced that I'd never forget the day I had to be bailed out to the tune of a tampon........ He was right.

Two days later I had an interview, as it happens this was he point where life began to change, so in reflection I guess I should thank him. Smart pressed suit, immaculate shirt and tie and well polished shoes...... only problem was the sole was hanging off the shoe and my sock was touching the floor....... My oppo said he'd drive me to Manchester as I didn't have the train fayre..... he saw my shoes, laughed at me and told me he'd sort it.

We ended up at Shoemarket, in the welfare section and he bought me a pair of £8 patent leather slip on black shoes with a big fcuk off silver buckle....... I had no choice but to wear them, i looked like I was going to a Micheal Jackson love in or a Showaddywaddy concert. Every fcuker stared at them and I felt like I had the worlds blingiest gondolas welded to my feet.

Looking back they were really pants times, even moreso knowing I was the butt of his jokes and ridicule for the next few years.

What are other Arsers low points?
 
#2
Realising that you have no-one to take to the summer ball... for the third year in a row :(
 
#3
My lowest point? Drunkenly stealing some woman's kecks off a washing line after my gal had left me. I was feeling lonely and - in light of the fact I had absoloutely NO frankie on site - needed something to spaff in. The shame.
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
last night, standing in my bedroom with shyte dribbling down me leg onto the carpet after a badly misjudged fart. :(
 
#7
Lowest Point, Kipping in me car after walking out on the ex, living "field style" for six weeks over Christmas cooking on Hexy from Proffed rat packs, showering and doing washing & ironing at work, topping up the stainless flask when going off late shift so I could have a Hot brew at 3am when I was freezing my arrse off, eventually saved enough to put a deposit on a bed sit and now have a pechant for Radio Four.

Things were bad, I supposedly had "depression" but was just Mortally "Fcuked Off", then one day I realised I was FREE!

That 6 weeks was a fcuking nightmare including a mixture of lonliness, boredom, discomfort and emptiness...the day came when I just looked in the mirror in the bathroom at the university that I worked at and "Had a word" with myself about "self-pity" and about "Time to fcuking Man-Up".
 
#8
Five years ago, when I was told by my MO to expect a med discharge in the extremely near future. Thankfully he turned out to be a little bit wrong in the end. (I'm still here you twat :boogie: )
 
#9
Screwed up big time with money once and ended up with two CCJ's because I didn't understand the system.
Struggled for ages afterwards working from hand to mouth until I got a bit of good advice. I let slip to a mate that I had actually paid these two days before the court case. He said that if I should have informed the court at the time I paid them and that I should be able to get them set aside or removed. I eventually managed to get the proof of payment together with verifiable dates and took it to the court offices who removed my CCJ's from my credit record.

All that fooking about for the sake of a bit of advice.

BuckFelize said:
My lowest point? Drunkenly stealing some woman's kecks off a washing line after my gal had left me. I was feeling lonely and - in light of the fact I had absoloutely NO frankie on site - needed something to spaff in. The shame.
You could have redeemed yourself if you'd only put the knickers back on the washing line complete with stains... and a few skid marks too. :D
 
#10
ScouseD said:
Buck, erm... Do you still have them? Just asking.
Unfortunately not. I donated them to a transvestite prostitute in Hammersmith. The shame.
 
#12
skintboymike said:
Five years ago, when I was told by my MO to expect a med discharge in the extremely near future. Thankfully he turned out to be a little bit wrong in the end. (I'm still here you twat :boogie: )
And your boss was a tit.
 
#14
MrShanklysboots said:
skintboymike said:
Five years ago, when I was told by my MO to expect a med discharge in the extremely near future. Thankfully he turned out to be a little bit wrong in the end. (I'm still here you twat :boogie: )
And your boss was a tit.
Ever so slightly. In fact, I would go as far as to say that was the biggest collection of clueless orifices that ever did walk the earth (across several capbadges, no less). How I survived that place in the last few months I'll never know.
 
#15
BuckFelize said:
ScouseD said:
Buck, erm... Do you still have them? Just asking.
Unfortunately not. I donated them to a transvestite prostitute in Hammersmith. The shame.
Damn it all, Buck! I bet you’ve forgotten his address as well! Still, good drills, and a good sniff (I hope).
 
#17
Not so many moons ago, in the late 1980s. When I were a bit younger. I went up the Big Smoke (Londres Toon), for a gander around the 'Boat Show'. Well, as one does, I had a gander at all the stands rubbernecking the boats and the scantily clad models.... I was partaking of free rum samples around the various boat stands.... and yes.... I got very 'Brahms and List'.

Anyway to cut a short story long.... I ended the night in some seedy backstreet Hotel near Liverpool Street, cannot remember to this day.

The next morning I awoke and found myself the proud owner of a plastic shopping bag of Ladies Shoes and another one of old electric kettle leads, and plugs.... I have no idea to this day if I bought them or nicked them.....
:oops:
The plastic bag of electrical items I can fathom.... but the Ladies high heeled shoes.... never... honest I am NOT a Cross-dresser.....hehehehehe

Anyway. as I booked out of this ‘mung; hotel.... I was so shoite scared that I had nicked these items, and that PC Plod was after me, I dumped them in the nearest Dumpster…. And caught the next train to all points eastwards past Romford.

I didn’t go back into the ‘Big Smoke’ for many a year………. I still ponder about those ladies shoes….?????
 
#19
My lowest point ?? Right now, realising that I have fcuked up the best thing to happen in my life ever by being a complete twat!!!
 
#20
The day I accepted redundancy from the British Army.....
 

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