Your last dying wish

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by pegasus797, Nov 23, 2005.

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  1. Ok, you'de done your time and all in all had a good innings, but unfortunately your game credit has just expired. The Reaper has just pulled up outside and is staring to make his way up your path to collect you, before condemming you to an eternity stoking the fires of hell. But all is not lost, yo have one last dying wish, anything you want.............................what is it?

    Personaly, mine would involve that Titmus bird (sex is guarenteed, not enough time for chat up lines), any of the U.S.A womens volleyball team and a vat of honey.......mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

    What's yours?? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
  2. Last dying wish? Not to!
  3. No fair that's cheating :lol:
  4. I'd be a right git and wish that my best mate would die aswell, that'll show him!
  5. That my (two) ex-wives are a part of the bearer party.

    I have instructed that I be buried at sea.
  6. old joke:

    Husband: "If you could know when, where and how you were going to die, would you want to be told?"

    Wife: "No, why?"

    Husband: "Oh, forget it then." :twisted:
  7. I think my last wish would be to spend the night shagging the hell out of Jessica Alba. :D
  8. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    I would like to die of spontaneous human combustion whilst tied to Dale Winton in a small space hollowed out of a hay stack so that I didn't die in vain.
  9. To finish the last of the Kilo of cocaine i had just finished snorting off the bare backsides of the 75 hookers who had been taking it in turns on me, and each other whilst the dying bars of The Who ... (playing live) faded into the back ground, and i said "bye Rog, bye Pete (shortfuse slips away)..... oh hello John .... KEITH !!! get the f ucking beers in mate ... lets get at it !! "

    and so ... the party continues .... :D
  10. Watched a re run of star trek voyager last night.

    Seven of nine would see me off with 10 minutes of assimilating me before I expire. Man, that body is made to ride.
  11. Got to love the last wish of Alfred Anderson, the Christmas Day truce vet who passed on to Valhalla earlier this week!

    He said that his ambition was to die shot in bed by a jealous lover!! Get stuck in, old son, you deserve it indeed!
  12. By way of extension to CarpeDiem's posting:

    I want to die at the age of 90, in bed, shot by a jealous husband, whilst too drunk to defend myself.

    Edited for spelling.
  13. Shouldn't that be ' Too busy sh@gging his missus to defend myself'?
  14. To take George Bush with me so all the dead British and American solders could get there own back.
  15. Thank you Rowums; what was I thinking of?

    That of course should have read 'I want to die at the age of 90, in bed, shot by a jealous husband, whilst too drunk to defend myself having just celebrated sh@gging his wife, daughter and granddaughter'.