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Your last dying wish

#1
Ok, you'de done your time and all in all had a good innings, but unfortunately your game credit has just expired. The Reaper has just pulled up outside and is staring to make his way up your path to collect you, before condemming you to an eternity stoking the fires of hell. But all is not lost, yo have one last dying wish, anything you want.............................what is it?


Personaly, mine would involve that Titmus bird (sex is guarenteed, not enough time for chat up lines), any of the U.S.A womens volleyball team and a vat of honey.......mmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

What's yours?? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
 

maninblack

LE
Book Reviewer
#8
I would like to die of spontaneous human combustion whilst tied to Dale Winton in a small space hollowed out of a hay stack so that I didn't die in vain.
 
#9
To finish the last of the Kilo of cocaine i had just finished snorting off the bare backsides of the 75 hookers who had been taking it in turns on me, and each other whilst the dying bars of The Who ... (playing live) faded into the back ground, and i said "bye Rog, bye Pete (shortfuse slips away)..... oh hello John .... KEITH !!! get the f ucking beers in mate ... lets get at it !! "

and so ... the party continues .... :D
 
#10
Watched a re run of star trek voyager last night.

Seven of nine would see me off with 10 minutes of assimilating me before I expire. Man, that body is made to ride.
 
#11
Got to love the last wish of Alfred Anderson, the Christmas Day truce vet who passed on to Valhalla earlier this week!

He said that his ambition was to die shot in bed by a jealous lover!! Get stuck in, old son, you deserve it indeed!
 
#12
By way of extension to CarpeDiem's posting:

I want to die at the age of 90, in bed, shot by a jealous husband, whilst too drunk to defend myself.

Edited for spelling.
 
#13
Lucky_Jim said:
Bt way of extension to CarpeDiem's posting:

I want to die at the age of 90, in bed, shot by a jealous husband, whilst too drunk to defend myself.
Shouldn't that be ' Too busy sh@gging his missus to defend myself'?
 
#15
Thank you Rowums; what was I thinking of?

That of course should have read 'I want to die at the age of 90, in bed, shot by a jealous husband, whilst too drunk to defend myself having just celebrated sh@gging his wife, daughter and granddaughter'.
 
#16
Not so much a dying wish, more of a dead wish!

I want to be cremated….. and my ash mixed into a huge fruitcake … along with half a tonne of diuretics

All that remains is to fed to the pigeons, so that they can shi.t me all over Chav cars!!!

All my mates would stand by, watching the screeming Chavs and Chavettes, whilst drink them selves stupid on all my left over cash.

(Then I'd get all 'Poltergeist' on their chav-asses)
 
#17
I'd like to go after a night mainlining LSD and a marathon humping session with the guy that I'm currently fancying like mad. I'd have him eating vanilla ice cream from my vulva and no spoon.... (drifts off... )
 
#18
Lucky_Jim said:
Thank you Rowums; what was I thinking of?

That of course should have read 'I want to die at the age of 90, in bed, shot by a jealous husband, whilst too drunk to defend myself having just celebrated sh@gging his wife, daughter and granddaughter'.
That's more like it :lol:
 
#19
shrew said:
I'd like to go after a night mainlining LSD and a marathon humping session with the guy that I'm currently fancying like mad. I'd have him eating vanilla ice cream from my vulva and no spoon.... (drifts off... )
Can a man handle that much ice cream? :twisted:

Sorry, couldn't help myself]
 
#20
I would like to die saving the world from certian doom at the hands of a madman. Failing that I would like to die like my great uncle, in bed with one of his barmaids half his age!
 

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