Your fondest memory of your Mother.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by wheelchairwarrier, Jul 9, 2008.

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  1. I was during an idle moment thinking of my late mother, remembering how when dad was away she would bring us boys up ,y’know the sort of thing, washing the sports kit 5 mins before the school bus is due , stuffing the lunch box with crisps and marathon bars as she had run out of bread and of course the kissing better of the numerous cuts and scrapes.

    But there is just on memory that will always stick, nay remain etched in my mind when at the age of eleven I walked in to the sitting room to find Mother bent over the sofa with “uncle” Terry hanging out her arrse. “He’s giving Mummys back a massage “ she said.

    Theron after I’ve always regarded some of the better porn mags as the osteopaths weekly.

    WW
     

  2. Its funny you should mention this as the earliest memory I have is my mother standing in the niff in my door way to see if i was sleeping - I wasn't but she couldnt see my eyes partly open - She then went into her bedroom and banged the sh!t out of my step father very audibly.

    I got my first throbbing boner that night.
     
  3. Not my own mother,but I always giving "back massages" to my sister in law.

    Yours,

    Uncle Terry

    My coat,why thank you!
     
  4. When I was about 3 years old I got a smack around the back of my head for pulling out one of my mother's pubes when she shared a bath with me.

    That's all I can remember.
     
  5. I remember during my birth my mum farted and pebbledashed my head....I killed her for that when I turned 20, by duct taping her to a park bench and taking a shit in her mouth.

    Does that make me a bad person.
     
  6. I have no fond memories of your mother WW. She gave me syphalis.
     
  7. Well that's rounded off my day quite nicely. I needed a good laugh!
     
  8. [/quote]


    Its funny you should mention this as the earliest memory I have is my mother standing in the niff in my door way to see if i was sleeping - I wasn't but she couldnt see my eyes partly open - She then went into her bedroom and banged the sh!t out of my step father very audibly.

    I got my first throbbing boner that night.[/quote]

    When I was a kid, fcuked up and got a spanking it was half a dozen whacks of the hand to the bare arrse cheeks, a few tears then off to kick fcuk out of my baby sister. Occasionaly 'Mummy had been bad' and her spanking went of for ages and ages and ages. She must have killed Daddys own Mummy and Daddy to have deserved that punishment.

    On a serious note............ when I was a kid, fcuked up and got a spanking it was half a dozen whacks of the hand to.....
     
  9. My fondest memory... er, that'll be none then, couldn't wait to join at 15 - haven't looked back since... some parents were fcukin' monsters
     
  10. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Ah, happy days. The time I came back from school with a bunch of nice pottery thingies I'd made, only to have them smashed all over the porch because I hadn't done my room, or the time she smashed a plate of food over my head . . . . or the fun times walking around town, from pub to pub so that I could borrow the front door key. Halcyon days indeed.
     
  11. So that's where you've been you little fcuker, the bloody army -

    why I oughta !
     
  12. "My mother? Let me tell you about my mother". <Leans forward and shoots Holden through table and Voight-Kampff Empathy Test equipment>
     
  13. My favourite memory of my mother was seeing her blood shot eyes and open mouth when I found her lifeless body in her Armchair in 2004.

    She'd had a pulminary embolism when my dad was competing at Bisley and never got to say her goodbyes.

    I sat with her for a few moments before moving her mouth from the 'hold open dead position' to a smile, more fitting of a kind woman and grandmother to my daughter.

    Sadly, the dog had gnawed away at her slippers that were on her feet, and two of her toes were missing. I couldn't beat the dog as he only wanted to go out for a slash. Part of me wondered whether to route through his stools for the missing digits.

    The ambulancemen were careful, and only bounced her off one door case. I opted not to tell my dad as I didn't want him driving home upset.
     
  14. My favourite was when I switched her dementia medication with tic tacs and she sucked me off thinking I was Dad. My old man still laughs like a b@stard when I tell that one at family reunions.
     

  15. Theres always room for a Blade Runner quote


    Oh yeah . Mothers. No memory at all of mine. Car accident. Can barely remember my own name some mornings