Your fondest memory of your Mother.

#1
I was during an idle moment thinking of my late mother, remembering how when dad was away she would bring us boys up ,y’know the sort of thing, washing the sports kit 5 mins before the school bus is due , stuffing the lunch box with crisps and marathon bars as she had run out of bread and of course the kissing better of the numerous cuts and scrapes.

But there is just on memory that will always stick, nay remain etched in my mind when at the age of eleven I walked in to the sitting room to find Mother bent over the sofa with “uncle” Terry hanging out her arrse. “He’s giving Mummys back a massage “ she said.

Theron after I’ve always regarded some of the better porn mags as the osteopaths weekly.

WW
 
#2
wheelchairwarrier said:
I was during an idle moment thinking of my late mother, remembering how when dad was away she would bring us boys up ,y’know the sort of thing, washing the sports kit 5 mins before the school bus is due , stuffing the lunch box with crisps and marathon bars as she had run out of bread and of course the kissing better of the numerous cuts and scrapes.

But there is just on memory that will always stick, nay remain etched in my mind when at the age of eleven I walked in to the sitting room to find Mother bent over the sofa with “uncle” Terry hanging out her arrse. “He’s giving Mummys back a massage “ she said.

Theron after I’ve always regarded some of the better porn mags as the osteopaths weekly.

WW

Its funny you should mention this as the earliest memory I have is my mother standing in the niff in my door way to see if i was sleeping - I wasn't but she couldnt see my eyes partly open - She then went into her bedroom and banged the sh!t out of my step father very audibly.

I got my first throbbing boner that night.
 
#3
When I was about 3 years old I got a smack around the back of my head for pulling out one of my mother's pubes when she shared a bath with me.

That's all I can remember.
 
#4
I remember during my birth my mum farted and pebbledashed my head....I killed her for that when I turned 20, by duct taping her to a park bench and taking a shit in her mouth.

Does that make me a bad person.
 
#5
I have no fond memories of your mother WW. She gave me syphalis.
 
#6
wheelchairwarrier said:
I was during an idle moment thinking of my late mother, remembering how when dad was away she would bring us boys up ,y’know the sort of thing, washing the sports kit 5 mins before the school bus is due , stuffing the lunch box with crisps and marathon bars as she had run out of bread and of course the kissing better of the numerous cuts and scrapes.

But there is just on memory that will always stick, nay remain etched in my mind when at the age of eleven I walked in to the sitting room to find Mother bent over the sofa with “uncle” Terry hanging out her arrse. “He’s giving Mummys back a massage “ she said.

Theron after I’ve always regarded some of the better porn mags as the osteopaths weekly.

WW
Well that's rounded off my day quite nicely. I needed a good laugh!
 
#7
[/quote]


Its funny you should mention this as the earliest memory I have is my mother standing in the niff in my door way to see if i was sleeping - I wasn't but she couldnt see my eyes partly open - She then went into her bedroom and banged the sh!t out of my step father very audibly.

I got my first throbbing boner that night.[/quote]

When I was a kid, fcuked up and got a spanking it was half a dozen whacks of the hand to the bare arrse cheeks, a few tears then off to kick fcuk out of my baby sister. Occasionaly 'Mummy had been bad' and her spanking went of for ages and ages and ages. She must have killed Daddys own Mummy and Daddy to have deserved that punishment.

On a serious note............ when I was a kid, fcuked up and got a spanking it was half a dozen whacks of the hand to.....
 
#8
My fondest memory... er, that'll be none then, couldn't wait to join at 15 - haven't looked back since... some parents were fcukin' monsters
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
Ah, happy days. The time I came back from school with a bunch of nice pottery thingies I'd made, only to have them smashed all over the porch because I hadn't done my room, or the time she smashed a plate of food over my head . . . . or the fun times walking around town, from pub to pub so that I could borrow the front door key. Halcyon days indeed.
 
#10
VMechA said:
My fondest memory... er, that'll be none then, couldn't wait to join at 15 - haven't looked back since... some parents were fcukin' monsters
So that's where you've been you little fcuker, the bloody army -

why I oughta !
 
#11
"My mother? Let me tell you about my mother". <Leans forward and shoots Holden through table and Voight-Kampff Empathy Test equipment>
 
#12
My favourite memory of my mother was seeing her blood shot eyes and open mouth when I found her lifeless body in her Armchair in 2004.

She'd had a pulminary embolism when my dad was competing at Bisley and never got to say her goodbyes.

I sat with her for a few moments before moving her mouth from the 'hold open dead position' to a smile, more fitting of a kind woman and grandmother to my daughter.

Sadly, the dog had gnawed away at her slippers that were on her feet, and two of her toes were missing. I couldn't beat the dog as he only wanted to go out for a slash. Part of me wondered whether to route through his stools for the missing digits.

The ambulancemen were careful, and only bounced her off one door case. I opted not to tell my dad as I didn't want him driving home upset.
 
#13
My favourite was when I switched her dementia medication with tic tacs and she sucked me off thinking I was Dad. My old man still laughs like a b@stard when I tell that one at family reunions.
 
#14
smartascarrots said:
"My mother? Let me tell you about my mother". <Leans forward and shoots Holden through table and Voight-Kampff Empathy Test equipment>

Theres always room for a Blade Runner quote


Oh yeah . Mothers. No memory at all of mine. Car accident. Can barely remember my own name some mornings
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I remember the first time she caught me wanking, she wasn't happy. I was kneeling over her!
 
#17
My fondest memory is during the halycon summer of '76 and a family holiday to NE Scotland. We were sat on a small secluded beach, overlooked by high cliffs. My mother looked so young as she played racketball with my brother and I.

The occasional glimse of dense, black pubes peeping through her ultra small 70's bikini pants added to the surreal atmosphere and gave me a painful ache in my hairless 5 year old testes.

As my mother was returning a deft backhander to my brother she gave out a small scream and dropped like a TA chef on a BFT. My first thought was '10 out of 10 mam you win the dying like a dead Jap competition' but on closer inspection she had a huge black lump on her forehead and I noticed (along with another teste ache) that she'd urinated herself.

My dad took charge like the ex-soldier he was 'FUCKING HELL LADS YOUR MAM'S BEEN FUCKING SHOT!'

Yup, the old man with his Borneo and Sarawak training was right - the old dear had been shot - with a fucking 'Black Bullet' peppermint sweet. Giggling on the cliffs confirmed this and the 70's version of some Neds packing Black Widow catapults did a runner. The sweet had embedded in her forehead before shattering.

My lingering memories of that day aren't the near death of my mother and the 'Lofty' Large-esque skills of my dad - it's the damp patch on her gusset and the conditioning reflex of me gaining an erection whenever a bird has a piiss.

Edited to say - yes I'm into watersports.
 
#19
My mother's Devilled Kidneys are one of my fondest memories. Delicious!

Sauteeing her ovaries was slightly less fulfilling, probably because there were no signs of life by then.
 
#20
VMechA said:
My fondest memory... er, that'll be none then, couldn't wait to join at 15 - haven't looked back since... some parents were fcukin' monsters
I'm listening. Where were you touched? Do you want to point it out on the doll?
 
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