Your first day in the army

It came in handy already knowing my number off by heart when it came to the CS chamber. :D

What sort of homos did you have as instructors? In my Troop if you said your regimental number fast, they asked you the COs name, then his first name, then the distance of the earth to the sun, what is the 27th prime number, etc etc
 

964ST

War Hero
February 1986, young Private Hogg arrives at RMPTC Chichester to begin learning how to become a cold hearted thief taker and bollocker of naughty squaddies. We all get shouted at by a sergeant with a strange accent, who we learn is South African. We get our bed spaces, pick up our uniform and get taken to get our hair cut. That was where we were introduced to Reggie, Reggie put the "camp" in camp barber, he was very strange individual in a Larry Grayson sort of manner! You learned from the very beginning to keep your elbows tucked in otherwise he would rub his bollocks against them!!! I kept it quiet I was ex TA until I had to recite my number in front of the squad on payday, they were all 2476, I was 2471. It came in handy already knowing my number off by heart when it came to the CS chamber. :D
Its always the „camp“ Barbers fault?
 
They used to ask regimental number, what room you lived in, your date of birth and how many siblings you had, I convincingly made it up and they believed me! ;)
 
What sort of homos did you have as instructors? In my Troop if you said your regimental number fast, they asked you the COs name, then his first name, then the distance of the earth to the sun, what is the 27th prime number, etc etc
First rule of the CS chamber. Take a very deep breath. Then they let you out the door...
 
First rule of the CS chamber. Take a very deep breath. Then they let you out the door...
Were you in the same homo Troop as Bosshogg?
You took a deep breath, then got thrashed some more, maybe a few press ups if you couldnt talk so well, maybe a few star jumps, then they might let you crawl out the door.
 
Were you in the same homo Troop as Bosshogg?
You took a deep breath, then got thrashed some more, maybe a few press ups if you couldnt talk so well, maybe a few star jumps, then they might let you crawl out the door.
I have never knowingly come across @BossHogg (fnarr, fnarr). I just never found CS annoying. Got a lungful, then was allowed out the dungeon. Just one of those things. Some guys are on their knees, I wasn’t.
 
Aye we didn't have to work up an appetite ;)
I don't know if he was there when you were at OPB but there was a extremely camp civvy working as a dishwasher in the cookhouse called Sydney who looked a lot like Charlie Drake. All the lads used to take the piss out of him. The civvy barber was called Sid and had been there since year dot. He was still there in 1989 the robbing git. If you wanted a half decent haircut you had to buy something off him, either a packet of Durex or a bulling duster. As you had more use of a bulling duster, that was what you usually bought.

I think that the army lost a lot when they got rid of all their Junior Leaders, Apprentice Tradesmen and Junior Soldiers. In the seventies they provided the army with a third of their recruits and a large proportion of their SNCO's and LE officers. They were a product of their time I suppose and couldn't be substained today outside the Army Foundation College or whatever the present junior establishment is called.
 
I have never knowingly come across @BossHogg (fnarr, fnarr). I just never found CS annoying. Got a lungful, then was allowed out the dungeon. Just one of those things. Some guys are on their knees, I wasn’t.

Absolutely agreed. CS had me in shit state, but my first TA sqn’s NBC instructor was completely impervious to it. He didn’t even bother with a respirator in the chamber. Truly a bloke that found his vocation :)
 
Absolutely agreed. CS had me in shit state, but my first TA sqn’s NBC instructor was completely impervious to it. He didn’t even bother with a respirator in the chamber. Truly a bloke that found his vocation :)
There are a few rare people who are impervious to it. When we were first issued CS Spray in the Met we had a big US Marine kick off in Eastcote, West London. He just said "whats that shit2 as we all all coughing from the rebound. He was part of the USMC guard at the US Embassy. It doesn't work on dogs apparently. Not that I ever tried to gas a dog.
 
First rule of the CS chamber. Take a very deep breath. Then they let you out the door...
Then get a mouthful of charcoal bits because your cannister is kaput.

"Number?"

"Gwarrrraguulllmlar <retch>"

"Whats all that black shit in your mouth? Put your respirator back on."

"<spit> Mlar! <retch>" points emphatically at the cannister with a thumbs down.
Feels a rush of wind, bright light and the texture of grass between my fingers. I hadn't taken a step.

Thankfully not in recruit training but on my annual TST's or I wouldn't have been thrown out the door so quickly.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
There are a few rare people who are impervious to it. When we were first issued CS Spray in the Met we had a big US Marine kick off in Eastcote, West London. He just said "whats that shit2 as we all all coughing from the rebound. He was part of the USMC guard at the US Embassy. It doesn't work on dogs apparently. Not that I ever tried to gas a dog.
CS never did much to me. A few months before I handed it in, a strap went on my 14-year old respirator at the start of a gas test. Couldn't be arsed with the hassle, so I just cracked on.

Diagnosed with late onset asthma within a decade, I wouldn't try it now.

@BossHogg your South African sergeant. Initials SE? If so he didn't fly, having been in my intake (7502) and wanting to be an officer. Until his first training exercise when he realised he was a lot less hard than he thought.

I met a member of my intake in 77. Only four direct enlistments had finished training after they'd watch me tell Roussillon where they might stick their truncheons and the sun didn't shine. The other dozen flounced in very short order.
 
they know anyway. 1990 i transferred to the R Signals (my brother was in them). Got to Catterick & was cushy as Feck. was on a basic Radio ops course. Had to march the sprogs around. It was around this time they started to bring women into the "mens" trades. course next to me, Radio Relay there was an RMP female full screw as course leader. This was when the R Sigs were at Catterick. 11 Sigs (basic training/ 8 Sigs trade training. I pumped the RMP :p

I was at RMP Catterick in 1990. ;)
You were female (and being pumped by Jonnynoname) in 1990?
When did you transition?
 
I don't know if he was there when you were at OPB but there was a extremely camp civvy working as a dishwasher in the cookhouse called Sydney who looked a lot like Charlie Drake. All the lads used to take the piss out of him. The civvy barber was called Sid and had been there since year dot. He was still there in 1989 the robbing git. If you wanted a half decent haircut you had to buy something off him, either a packet of Durex or a bulling duster. As you had more use of a bulling duster, that was what you usually bought.

I think that the army lost a lot when they got rid of all their Junior Leaders, Apprentice Tradesmen and Junior Soldiers. In the seventies they provided the army with a third of their recruits and a large proportion of their SNCO's and LE officers. They were a product of their time I suppose and couldn't be substained today outside the Army Foundation College or whatever the present junior establishment is called.
I thought the barber was Bert but memory fades with time , I never bought anything off him as his haircuts were shit anyway. The guy who supplied the Red /Blue /Green tracksuits from his sports shop must have retired a millionaire .
The JLRE was of it's time superb in what it did ,but in this new tech savvy generation it just would not work can you imagine mobile phone cameras in my /your time there
 

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