your fiendish deeds exposed here

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by puzzledgrunt, Jun 27, 2007.

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  1. Apologies if this has been done before...

    What is the most horrible, spiteful and plain bloody nasty thing you've done on course/exercise/operations?

    My own effort was to get away with blowing up a certain Lt.H from 1 RAR with an F1A1 booby-trap switch and WAY too much pyro :twisted:

    I perpetrated this atrocity on my NCO/Officer Assault pioneer Course at Singleton in (cough) 1989.

    The c.nt had spent the previous seven weeks just BEGGING for it, so he got it-well and truly. :muhaha:

    The DS knew what, who, why etc, but nothing was said.I'll explain the how if anyone's interested.

    Your turn...
  2. Many many years ago, I was part of a course who got hacked off with a fellow member to the extent that one night we hoisted his car (a Reliant Robin, fibregass three-wheeler) four floors up a building and left it on the roof.

    It wasn't big or clever but I was young and to be honest, he was a throbber. He did amateur dramatics for goodness' sake.
  3. I pissed in the bowser on ex iron anvil 2001 for 1WG.

    Take my egg banjos away will you???
  4. Not too many years ago (Precisely 3 score and 1) at a certain camp there was a Mess Manageress and a Bar Manageress who both hated each other. Both stupidly had a bit of an attraction for yours truly, so in a moment of blinding wit and wisdom I did the Mess Mgrs up the ronson, followed not thirty five mins later with the Bar Mgrs smoking the big fella.. no scrub in between.. ATM action and neither of them knew.. ahhh those were the days...
  5. Lt H????? PM me!
  6. I turned up late for PT once. And the best bit was no one noticed.
  7. nothing really bad here,but we had a good laugh. 1971, Queens Birthday parade, Olympic stadium, Berlin. 7 centurions, (3 shots each), barrel's all sighting on the bell-tower, we all thought it a good idea to put cans of beans/tomatoes down the barrel's of our mates tank, the only trouble was that we all had the same idea. The first 7 shots with the eco of the bell was extraordinary. (We all had hell to pay later) apart from cleaning the bloody bell. Great times.
  8. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Excercise on Soltau in 432s. Company commander who wouldn't stay in one location for more than a few minutes, and we were desperate for hot food, and the chance to carry out personal admin.. Comany medic provided large amount of cascara. Coffee made for Cot commander. Next stop was for several hours, as he went through 2 shovels;gs and 4 pads of F.Sigs 52(pads of 100).
    Company 2ic , a Canadian from Princess Pats, thought it highly amusing.
  9. while serving with a Jock regiment not to many yrs ago - if you were not white,scottish,free mason,and protestant you had shit out.

    not tell you what i did if you use these words you will get the idea

    many times, curling one out,pot of curry, watched them eat the lot. all on tour as well.
  10. Shat in an unpopular OCs boot. He knew he was hated and didn't have the bottle to speak out, so trudged about the training area for the last 3 day with a cloud of flies following his right foot.
  11. One reasonably annoying chap was posted and had his 2 seater all packed for the journey the next day. He had a suitcase tighly strapped to the luggage rack and had gone to bed early ready for the big drive.

    Ratfink leaves mess bar at dark o'clock and notices that the load lashing wasn't as good as he had thought it was. I removed all his kit, including his flight suit, from the suicase and replaced it with blankets and bog roll from the block.

    Sent his kit slow time via QMs as frieght and never heard a peep from the chap, but the cleaners locked the bog roll cupboard for ever more!
  12. I was told that my arch enemy had just got into a portaloo when i was in poland on exercise, ran over and pushed portaloo over then scarpered like 10 men, found out when i came back 10 mins later that it was some poor sod from irish guards, i just faded into background while he kicked off, luckily it was dark so my deed was not seen by anyone that did not know me :p
  13. Wiping my c0ck on the curtains after shagging the RSM's just legal daughter on his sofa.

    So bad, but so good.
  14. when I was in JLR we put w&nk mags in every drawer of one throbber - His parents must have been so proud when they came along and saw all of them.
  15. JLR theme wrapped loads of porn mags up in christmas paper and put them in the hampers for the local OAP's. Had a cnut in the troop so pished in his shoes and smashed his best boots up when he went to the Naffi