Your favourite software trick

If you press Alt F4 it does some really cool stuff.
Looks like a thread that could run without derailing the Dead Pool. Obviously frivolous, not necessarily serious software, etc.

I've just discovered browser text-to-speech.

Evenings I play Torn on the PC in a browser. You're all welcome, see link below. One of the numerous bolt-ons for Torn is DocTorN (Windows, Apple, Chrome, Firefox, Safari).

Torn doesn't need constant attention, so I'm simultaneously playing Civilization V, a turn-based game, so I can swap out when I get an event. DocTorN goes ping, Alt+Tab, read event, carry on. But if I'm honest, the only event that's really time critical is landing in the Cayman Islands, where big boys are hoping to catch people moving vast sums into their offshore account, and mugging them. It's good to be able to land, buy product, dump cash in bank and fly out.

So it means that, by having DocTorN set to text-to-speech, an event occurs and instead of me getting pinged in the middle of a city siege on Civ, DocTorN can read it out loud in my ear, thus:

"DocTorN says 'Slork bought 27 x African Violet from your bazaar for $1,835,973.'"

I only need to jump if "DocTorN says 'You have landed in Cayman Islands.'"

It was a long time ago
Minimize Button. {Drops Private window Porn to main window Arrse in a millisecond which is about all the time I have if I detect the sneaky slipper wearing witch lovely wife walking down the hallway}.
VPN {Every expat should have one}.
BitTorrent. {software is expensive - used for legit stuff only obviously}.
CCleaner - wipes history completely, and keeps laptop nice and clean from temp files.
Doesn't work if you're still sat there with your cock out and spunk down the front of your breeks.

I'm told.
I preferred to be selective. Also not so nasty, I didn't really use the C word until I was in the Army. And I would have been much younger than that to write this kind of thing :)

40 GOTO 30
60 GOTO 50
That program was about the sum of my achievements in the one computing course I did when I was an undergraduate.
Not sure if it counts as a trick, but it's sort of my favourite thing at the moment as I try to remember to use it rather than the finger and thumb or two-finger 'pinch' method.

On Android you can zoom with one finger if you double-tap and drag without lifting the second tap. i.e. Tap finger. Quickly tap again, but keep the finger held down. Then drag the held finger up/down to zoom.
Last edited:


War Hero
The only trick with electrickey stuff I’m any good at is changing all the keys round on the keyboard by flipping them out with a knife. Replace in a random order and sit back and giggle watching the office keyboard commandos go into melt down.
My favourite, childish, trick was to get onto the work pc of any colleague who, foolishly, left themselves logged on when they left the room and set autocorrect to change their name to something irreverent. Each time they'd sign a report it would change it, and often they'd not notice until someone else burst into a laughter some time later when they read it.

Signed, A N Asshat
One thing is get an identikit keyboard of someone in the office, but one with built in key logging

Seen people do some epic windups using them


40 years later, I find myself setting up a bandwidth management system, involving port-mirroring WAN traffic to a Netflow generator, having the Netflow records ingested into a Virtual Machine running the ELK stack so I can see where my bandwidth is going.)
ELK stack?

Sent from my karzi while losing several pounds

Latest Threads