Your chance to say Sorry......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ratcatcher, Dec 29, 2006.

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  1. This time of year is a time for reflection, perhaps a time to consider those people we've p*ssed off big time, and maybe consider absolving yourself of the guilt completely, by apologising on ARRSE. Of course you need to give us all the background information to make it work properly...

    I'll start...

    I am sorry to the LCpl RMP fella who came on detachment to HQ 3 ADSR (Korbecke) in 1992. We had all been on a massive session at Soest Kirmees (big German p*ss-up in November) since Friday afternoon, it was now 6am on Sunday morning. When you came back to your bedspace in a 4 man room, you were perhaps wandering why I was standing there like a drunken confused mong.....

    Well, until about 30 seconds before you came into the room, I had been sitting on your bed, watching your porn on your telly and video and I was cracking one off, and for that I apologise. Also as you and your female 'friend' came into the block, I was spilling my sticky-white-love-p*ss in your bedspace, being pissed I jizzed into the first thing that came to hand, which happened to be your your prize beer drinking 'stein', and I also wiped my Hampton on the back of your dressing gown, again I apologise.

    Fortunately I managed to get my keks up before you actually came into the room, and you were either too drunk to care or too polite to start a fight.

    Now, it is your chance to apologise.....

  2. Jack barstewards like you make me laugh uncontrollably. Quality. Remember its only funny when it happens to someone else.

    Still laughing!!
  3. Hmmmmmmmmm, This sounds like a bitch fight to me really but................I apologise to the ex Mrs BoS for shagging the best bit of totty in Paris when I was over there working. Actually I dont, because she was and is magnificent. I apologise for not being able to work a fecking mobile phone properly and getting caught!

    Your a bum, your a punk, An old slut on junk........... Happy days mimx
  4. I apologise to a certain author on this website for blobbing a specimen of the NSU I had at the time on his back, the specimen was squeezed out of my knob freshly! If he reads this he'll shudder all over again!
  5. I apologise to the Taleban members whom I drilled with 5.56mm whilst serving in Helmand...............NOT! Fcuk you Ahmed and I'll see you in Apr 08. Cnuts.
  6. Come again? This has to be explained.

  7. Apologies not needed i would suggest.

    Nice one Bruvvvvvvvvvver!
  8. I apologise to the five prostitutes i murdered in Ipswich.

    ......... and to the innocent bloke they have nabbed! :lol:
  9. Also I apologise for milking pre-cum out of my turgid bloodstick everytime I hear about murdered prostitutes. Fcuking hooers.
  10. I apologise to Kira Cochrane, to whom my first book of limericks is dedicated.........( i dont)
  11. I apologise to the wife for spaffing my man juice down her throat when I promised I would'nt.

    Or rather I dont :lol:
  12. Hmm your too near to be funny!
  13. For BOS:
    A certain chap who has wrote a book who frequents this board once took the pish out of the fact that my little fella was out of action, so while he was watching neighbours or sommat like that during Naafi break I proceeded to squeeze from stem to tip on the wounded chap to produce a big blob of the diseased stinking puss and deposited it on to his bare back, Christ it stunk!
  14. If it wasn't for your signature quote I would say you were a rancid, diseased cnut, however, well done mucka!!
  15. That McNAB gets on my tits.....................or not in this case!
    Bos falls off chair laughing