Ratcatcher
Old-Salt

This time of year is a time for reflection, perhaps a time to consider those people we've p*ssed off big time, and maybe consider absolving yourself of the guilt completely, by apologising on ARRSE. Of course you need to give us all the background information to make it work properly...
I'll start...
I am sorry to the LCpl RMP fella who came on detachment to HQ 3 ADSR (Korbecke) in 1992. We had all been on a massive session at Soest Kirmees (big German p*ss-up in November) since Friday afternoon, it was now 6am on Sunday morning. When you came back to your bedspace in a 4 man room, you were perhaps wandering why I was standing there like a drunken confused mong.....
Well, until about 30 seconds before you came into the room, I had been sitting on your bed, watching your porn on your telly and video and I was cracking one off, and for that I apologise. Also as you and your female 'friend' came into the block, I was spilling my sticky-white-love-p*ss in your bedspace, being pissed I jizzed into the first thing that came to hand, which happened to be your your prize beer drinking 'stein', and I also wiped my Hampton on the back of your dressing gown, again I apologise.
Fortunately I managed to get my keks up before you actually came into the room, and you were either too drunk to care or too polite to start a fight.
Now, it is your chance to apologise.....
Ratcatcher
I'll start...
I am sorry to the LCpl RMP fella who came on detachment to HQ 3 ADSR (Korbecke) in 1992. We had all been on a massive session at Soest Kirmees (big German p*ss-up in November) since Friday afternoon, it was now 6am on Sunday morning. When you came back to your bedspace in a 4 man room, you were perhaps wandering why I was standing there like a drunken confused mong.....
Well, until about 30 seconds before you came into the room, I had been sitting on your bed, watching your porn on your telly and video and I was cracking one off, and for that I apologise. Also as you and your female 'friend' came into the block, I was spilling my sticky-white-love-p*ss in your bedspace, being pissed I jizzed into the first thing that came to hand, which happened to be your your prize beer drinking 'stein', and I also wiped my Hampton on the back of your dressing gown, again I apologise.
Fortunately I managed to get my keks up before you actually came into the room, and you were either too drunk to care or too polite to start a fight.
Now, it is your chance to apologise.....
Ratcatcher