Your chance to say Sorry......

#1
This time of year is a time for reflection, perhaps a time to consider those people we've p*ssed off big time, and maybe consider absolving yourself of the guilt completely, by apologising on ARRSE. Of course you need to give us all the background information to make it work properly...

I'll start...

I am sorry to the LCpl RMP fella who came on detachment to HQ 3 ADSR (Korbecke) in 1992. We had all been on a massive session at Soest Kirmees (big German p*ss-up in November) since Friday afternoon, it was now 6am on Sunday morning. When you came back to your bedspace in a 4 man room, you were perhaps wandering why I was standing there like a drunken confused mong.....

Well, until about 30 seconds before you came into the room, I had been sitting on your bed, watching your porn on your telly and video and I was cracking one off, and for that I apologise. Also as you and your female 'friend' came into the block, I was spilling my sticky-white-love-p*ss in your bedspace, being pissed I jizzed into the first thing that came to hand, which happened to be your your prize beer drinking 'stein', and I also wiped my Hampton on the back of your dressing gown, again I apologise.

Fortunately I managed to get my keks up before you actually came into the room, and you were either too drunk to care or too polite to start a fight.

Now, it is your chance to apologise.....

Ratcatcher
 
#2
Jack barstewards like you make me laugh uncontrollably. Quality. Remember its only funny when it happens to someone else.




Still laughing!!
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#3
Hmmmmmmmmm, This sounds like a bitch fight to me really but................I apologise to the ex Mrs BoS for shagging the best bit of totty in Paris when I was over there working. Actually I dont, because she was and is magnificent. I apologise for not being able to work a fecking mobile phone properly and getting caught!

Your a bum, your a punk, An old slut on junk........... Happy days mimx
 
#4
I apologise to a certain author on this website for blobbing a specimen of the NSU I had at the time on his back, the specimen was squeezed out of my knob freshly! If he reads this he'll shudder all over again!
 
#5
I apologise to the Taleban members whom I drilled with 5.56mm whilst serving in Helmand...............NOT! Fcuk you Ahmed and I'll see you in Apr 08. Cnuts.
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#6
jack-daniels said:
I apologise to a certain author on this website for blobbing a specimen of the NSU I had at the time on his back, the specimen was squeezed out of my knob freshly! If he reads this he'll shudder all over again!
Come again? This has to be explained.

BoS
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#7
threaders_vm said:
I apologise to the Taleban members whom I drilled with 5.56mm whilst serving in Helmand...............NOT! Fcuk you Ahmed and I'll see you in Apr 08. Cnuts.
Apologies not needed i would suggest.

Nice one Bruvvvvvvvvvver!
 
#9
Also I apologise for milking pre-cum out of my turgid bloodstick everytime I hear about murdered prostitutes. Fcuking hooers.
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#10
I apologise to Kira Cochrane, to whom my first book of limericks is dedicated.........( i dont)
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#12
Fallschirmjager said:
I apologise to the five prostitutes i murdered in Ipswich.

......... and to the innocent bloke they have nabbed! :lol:
Hmm your too near to be funny!
 
#13
For BOS:
A certain chap who has wrote a book who frequents this board once took the pish out of the fact that my little fella was out of action, so while he was watching neighbours or sommat like that during Naafi break I proceeded to squeeze from stem to tip on the wounded chap to produce a big blob of the diseased stinking puss and deposited it on to his bare back, Christ it stunk!
 
#14
jack-daniels said:
A certain chap who has wrote a book who frequents this board once took the pish out of the fact that my little fella was out of action, so while he was watching neighbours or sommat like that during Naafi break I proceeded to squeeze from stem to tip on the wounded chap to produce a big blob of the diseased stinking puss and deposited it on to his bare back, Christ it stunk!
If it wasn't for your signature quote I would say you were a rancid, diseased cnut, however, well done mucka!!
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#15
jack-daniels said:
A certain chap who has wrote a book who frequents this board once took the pish out of the fact that my little fella was out of action, so while he was watching neighbours or sommat like that during Naafi break I proceeded to squeeze from stem to tip on the wounded chap to produce a big blob of the diseased stinking puss and deposited it on to his bare back, Christ it stunk!
That McNAB gets on my tits.....................or not in this case!
Bos falls off chair laughing
 
#17
Sorry to the little grotty tw&t called bog rat who left his shoes out and I gave their insides a golden shower. Oh and sorry Jonesy for covering him in jiff&vim thilst cracking 1 off in the bogs
 
#18
Okay here goes:
Guy in single room next to my two man room is shagging WRAC.
Job done they sneak into showers for whatever.
While gone me and room mate each take left and right WRAC shoe desposit man goo into toe bit.
Jealousy is a powerful tool. Not sorry though, pissing ourselves for ages each time we saw her.
 
B

Bottleosmoke

Guest
#19
Well, while we are at it then.
I apologise for, whilst at Duisburg, popping down Caernarvon (you know where i mean) Barracks in Dusseldorf, trapping off with a postie WRAC and not being satisfied with that, stealing her neighbours (in the block) leather gloves and w*nking off in her hat, whilst looking at pics of her family.
I also apologise for routinely kicking the living feck out of anyone who ever crossed us at that time!
 
#20
"And the problem is, I can apologise for the information that turned out to be wrong, but I can't, sincerely at least, apologise for removing Saddam.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3054991.stm

and personally like any good op i apologise for feck all :twisted:
 

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