Your best ever practical joke

#1
Appologies if there has been a thread like this before.

What would be your best ever practical joke you have played on someone?

Mine would be a toss up between.....

placing 2x Chocolate buttons between the cheeks of my wifes arse as she slept, the look on her face as she bugged out to the shitter in the morning was priceless.

or

nicking my muckers car keys, filling all his vents with foot powder (the stinky mycota stuff) turning all the vents on and towards the driver, again priceless.
 
#3
Buying a tube ( for the purpose of sending a poster through the post) filling it with shredded paper and adding a small tarantula (£2 from most shit pet stores)

Posting and imagining the recipient tapping the end of the tube to ease the pissed off Arachnid on to his breakfast table

Carry on....
 
#4
Long wait, glass hammer, lah lah lah...
 
#5
Placing my cock between the cheeks of your wifes arse, then rubbing it on your buttons stash.
Oooh your funny.......... Yawn, double away.
 
#8
At BATUS we used to get Part One Orders sent through as a word document, one day a week the Army Sports Lottery results were posted, so before I printed and hung up in the office I added my mates name to the list as winning £4k. When I came back into the office later he'd phoned his mrs and they pretty much had it all spent.

Oh how we laughed as I was getting angry phone calls from Mrs KB... yeehaaaaaaaw

Not the best as it doesnt involve shit, cocks or spunk - but there we are.
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#10
Right, no, heres a good one, you will die when you ve heard this right, make sure you re sat down (and have been to the loo before you read this, "lol")

I was changing light-bulbs for a Rock Band right, and they got chucked outta the hotel for complaining about a dirty fork right, so we packed our kit, then Remmy the Lead Singer took out his Leathermann yeh, unscrews all the salt n pepper shakers yeh, emptys the salt, hang on, emptys the salt, no, I cant, oh me cheeks, me cheeks, he emptys the salt and , what a scream, he puts sugar in there instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know,.............I "lolled" on that for a week, and the Band even told the crowd at the gig, you ve gotta meet Remmy, he is "Crazy"
 
#11
Appologies if there has been a thread like this before.

What would be your best ever practical joke you have played on someone?

Mine would be a toss up between.....

placing 2x Chocolate buttons between the cheeks of my wifes arse as she slept, the look on her face as she bugged out to the shitter in the morning was priceless.

or

nicking my muckers car keys, filling all his vents with foot powder (the stinky mycota stuff) turning all the vents on and towards the driver, again priceless.

Nice Signature Block Twiglett:

Rules i live by...

Love like you have never been hurt...

Fight like you have never been beaten...

Gamble like you have never lost...

And fuck like your on film!!!

You missed out "Play practical jokes like a 9 year old girl" from your list.
 
#12
Nice Signature Block Twiglett:

Rules i live by...

Love like you have never been hurt...

Fight like you have never been beaten...

Gamble like you have never lost...

And fuck like your on film!!!

You missed out "Play practical jokes like a 9 year old girl" from your list.
I'm guessing from the user name he's a ginger as well, burn him!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#15
Ask this bloke, he is an absolute master of practical jokes.

I cried.............[video=youtube;joLiy5MtlVY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joLiy5MtlVY[/video]
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#16
But these blokes were even better

[video=youtube;Jnt7ShK9sgE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jnt7ShK9sgE[/video]
 
#17
right, no, heres a good one, you will die when you ve heard this right, make sure you re sat down (and have been to the loo before you read this, "lol")

i was changing light-bulbs for a rock band right, and they got chucked outta the hotel for complaining about a dirty fork right, so we packed our kit, then remmy the lead singer took out his leathermann yeh, unscrews all the salt n pepper shakers yeh, emptys the salt, hang on, emptys the salt, no, i cant, oh me cheeks, me cheeks, he emptys the salt and , what a scream, he puts sugar in there instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know,.............i "lolled" on that for a week, and the band even told the crowd at the gig, you ve gotta meet remmy, he is "crazy"
rofpmsl m8
 
#18
Appologies if there has been a thread like this before.

What would be your best ever practical joke you have played on someone?

Mine would be a toss up between.....

placing 2x Chocolate buttons between the cheeks of my wifes arse as she slept, the look on her face as she bugged out to the shitter in the morning was priceless.

or

nicking my muckers car keys, filling all his vents with foot powder (the stinky mycota stuff) turning all the vents on and towards the driver, again priceless.
Geez, do you mean, like, "Best EVA" or "OMG BESTEST EVA, EVA EVA wind-up S-Y-Y-Y-Y-K"?

I'm only asking because I've been involved in some wizard wheezes over the years.
 
#20
My kids love this one: go to the Bank and write on the back of a paying-in slip “This a stickup… empty the till”. Return the slip back to the plastic holder and wait. Arf, arf.
In Posh aircraft the button for calling the “flight attendant” – dizzy tart to you ‘n me - is on the armrest. Push in to summon bird, press it again to switch it off seconds later.
The ex didn’t speak any German so I taught her simple phrases including “Ich bin doof, helfen Si emir Bitte.” (I am stupid, please help me)
Google funny airport announcements – pure class. See Funny airport announcements
“Of course I won’t cum in your mouth” is a great joke.
Getting a lump of hash and lightly wiping it across your mate’s luggage as you both leave Oz for LHR. The dogs go mental at Customs. It also works nicely with traces of propellant. Sorry Harry. Smirk.
Nagasaki Surprise: If you’re at a crap party and all the real blokes are in the kitchen put the oven on full and bang in a few tins of Campbell’s Concentrated soup… unopened.
Lob some smoke into the Pub where you’ve all been banned from.
Block up the plugholes in the Pub where you’ve all been banned from. Taps on full.
Blaming an ND on someone else. Sorry Iain, but you really did think it was you.
I’ll leave out the obvious ones that use turds in flaming newspapers, cellophane on bogs or doors, unscrewing the lid on the salt shaker, challenging a pissed CO on his return when on Sentry etc.
 

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