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Your Basic Training Diary

#1
Had you written a diary in training, how would it read?

Sun 8th: Church Parade; afterwards entire regiment got ragged around the square by the RSM due to the Guards recruits having read the prayers, continuing to read the bits in bold saying "Congregation be seated" etc.

Mon 9th: Whole room awoken at 0200 by Rct Pierce, who having dreamt that his Father was trapped beneath a car, had got out of his bed, lifted the bottom of it above his head before dropping it onto the polished floor.

Thur 12th: Watched in amusement as Rct Bailey was ragged up and down a hill after choosing to cam up his teeth during a cam and concealment lesson.

In your own time and all that.
 
#2
9th Sep 1991 - Spent half the morning in the long corridor on all fours with the rest of my section repeatedly voicing the word "lettuce" in our best tortoise accents. We are informed by our psychopath RGJ section corporal that this is because we took marginally longer than the standard issue 3 pico-seconds to form up for parade. I feel a tad annoyed about this, mainly because we were only slightly late due to having to reform locker layout that the other section corporal had just trashed for no obvious reason.

I really am starting to this this Army lark is a bad idea...

I'm so tired Grandma ...etc...
 
#3
Mon 01st: During a lull on the ranges the platoon was asked for feedback on training from the DS. Most kept to the DS answer of "Scoff's shit, I miss my Mum, just looking forward to passing out". Rct Pierce's announcement of "The PT isn't demanding enough" was met with gasps of horror from the rest of the platoon.

Happily spent the remainder of the afternoon watching Rct Pierce run up and down the range with his rifle above his head.
 
#4
June 1985: Was put on the train in Glasgow with others joining the Army bound for Harrogate. Had a couple of cans on the train, was a right laugh.
Arrived Harrogate this is where the laugh ended.

Sept 1985: This is the first time I have sat still since June.
 
#5
13 Sep 78 05:30 First PT running in PT kit rest of day spent running about in civvies. Now tir………..zzzzzzz
14 Sep 78 05:30 as above except now very tir…………zzzzzzzzzz
15 Sep 78 05:30 as above got issued kit now running around in kit I am told I will grow into it and now very very tir…………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 

BBear

LE
Kit Reviewer
#7
1st September : Arrived at Sandhurst, greeted warmly by my Colour bloke ('Please Mrs. BBear, call me Peter...') and had my belongings transfered to my room by my batman, some fellow with a large badge that mother recognised from the tin of golden syrup those below stairs have. Just settling into my chair with a large G + T and expect the call for afternoon tea to come through soon.
 
#8
June 1990. Leopard crawling back to Gib Bks from Hawley Lake as a result of us not having got our rooms up to standard for the OCs inspection.
I do feel a tad aggreived about this as the main reason, IMHO, was due to our kind Trg NCOs thinking it would be a good idea to conduct 'Quick Room Changes' the previous night for some unrecalled transgression.
If one of you Cnuts happens to be reading this could you refresh my memory.
 
#9
JesterRIP said:
9th Sep 1991 - Spent half the morning in the long corridor on all fours with the rest of my section repeatedly voicing the word "lettuce" in our best tortoise accents. We are informed by our psychopath RGJ section corporal that this is because we took marginally longer than the standard issue 3 pico-seconds to form up for parade. I feel a tad annoyed about this, mainly because we were only slightly late due to having to reform locker layout that the other section corporal had just trashed for no obvious reason.

I really am starting to this this Army lark is a bad idea...

I'm so tired Grandma ...etc...
Jester....your section corporal wasn't an RE teacher at a well known forces school in Germany in the 80's was he?? If not....I suspect he was a pupil at the same institution. I know where he got this cruel and unusual punishment from!! 8O
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
27th January arrived and started to queue for a haircut
Because it was a big queue I stood on that nice little patch of grass just at the end
A nice passing Warrent Officer pointed out the errorrs of my ways and sent me at speed round the rest of he grassed areas (strange word for a sports field thought I)
23 years later I still walk round grass much to others amusement
 
#11
Sept 08 arrived here and it all seems nice, the section commander had a nice sit down and talk with us, he seems jolly nice.

Sept 08 Sgt xxxx thought it would be hilarious to make me do a handstand up against the door, shame he didnt tell anyone and the door opened...

oct 08 whole plt beasting after on our first visit to the 25 meter range pvt xxxxxx forgot to check what setting his rifle was on and proceeded to blat off 10 rounds by accident, oh how i love press ups wearing my entire wardrobe

nov 08 third day in field and still havent had a shit. my basha mates a cnut. and l/sgt xxxxxxx thinks its funny to make us drink tobasco sauce. cnut.
 
#12
Monday December 5th. I didn't know your legs and arms could go so fast around the parade square, all because one of the squad was doing his LCpl Jones from Dad's Army impression. Still kept the cold off.

LSgt A....... (Gorgous George) "This is the sandhill"

JGdsm M........ "Doesn't look very big"

Oh how we laughed after an hour running up and down it
 
#13
1815hrs ** October 1989 - Contents of our lockers thrown out of the window by Cpl S******** and told he would reinspect in 15 minutes. Cue sprint down stairs from the third floor; scoop up all our uniforms and sprint back to the room and then madly try to iron and clean before placing back in the lockers for his reinspection.

1830hrs - Cpl S******** throws all the kit out again and demands a reinspection in ten minutes!

1840hrs - Cpl S******** reinspects the locker layouts and is satisfied that our piss wet through and gravel covered kit is now up to the standard required. Why hadn't we done that in the first place? He will check again in the morning! I wonder if the one washing machine is free?
 
#14
Oct 08- stood there as the entire contents of the rooms lockers was thrown into the middle for being in shit state whereby sgt xxxxxxxxx then proceeded to empty foot powder and spray shaving cream all over the mass. pvt xxxxxxx cried a little, in the end we all just sat down and laughed for a good 15 mins after the staff left.
 
#15
johnboyzzz said:
Monday December 5th. I didn't know your legs and arms could go so fast around the parade square, all because one of the squad was doing his LCpl Jones from Dad's Army impression. Still kept the cold off.

LSgt A....... (Gorgous George) "This is the sandhill"

JGdsm M........ "Doesn't look very big"

Oh how we laughed after an hour running up and down it
ahh how i miss the sandhill

all fenced off and out of bounds now such a shame!! :)
 
#16
March 1989, After a most comfortable night in temperatures hovering around Zero in a medium size sleeping bag that comes up to my chest and filled with no more than 2 feathers in each compartment we are awoken by the DS and a lot of pyro.

Later on just past first light and after a hearty breakfast of cold bacon grill and water, the section watches on gobsmacked as J/Spr Grogan decides that cleaning his SLR is not an option for him this morning and proceeds to throw the component pieces of the working parts into that big feck off, ice covered puddle in the field in front of our axis of arcs. 8O

J/Spr Grogan, by rights should have caught hypothermia after spending the best part of 4 hours in his skiddies crawling around the big feck off ice covered puddle until he locates every bit of said SLR. However the kindly DS ensure that every 10 minutes without fail he gets to practice star jumps, burpees and bastards in front of said big feck off puddle until he is sufficiently warm to re-enter the puddle.

J/Spr Grogan probably decided around that time that he wasn't cut out for this Army Malarky. :D

J/Spr 145 decided around that time that the RE divers course did not look so attractive after all.
 
#17
Aug 95

Recruits Ashen and I (the troop gobshites) thrashed half to death in what was known as the pit, An outside area 8 metre by 8 metre square in the centre of the accommodation in D-lines wearing full number 2s AND full NBC kit + ressie with our rifles above our heads.

A couple of days later in Aug 95

Recruits Ashen and I thrashed half to death in the corridors of the accommodation buffing the floor, the ceiling and the bloody walls (the ceiling is easier than the wall) with a hand buffer and having to run to the opposite end of the corridor with the buffer every time the full screw shouted "Change"

Probably a few days later

Recruits Ashen and I thrashed half to death on a PT lesson for not toeing the party line and pretending the PTI was a God.

Any one of the monday morning regimental parades

Recruits Ashen and I thrashed half to death for being in clip order (probably could have passed inspection at Buckingham palace but wasnt good enough for Pirbright) I once earned an extra thrashing because the Cpl drilled several people in different directions at the same time and didnt notice me until the another Cpl saw the RSM & friends had paused their inspection of another troop and were staring at me marching off the drill square and onto the sports field. (Naturally it was all my fault).

The majority of the rest of my troop had a fairly easy basic training thanks to us.
 
#18
Sun 18th: Punched in the head by the Duty NCO whilst I was stood to attention next to my bed. My own fault really, If I wasn't from near to Shrewsbury and if they hadn't beaten Swindon at football it would never have happened.
 
#19
Its all coming back to me now, PTSD cant be far away

About the 3rd week in
A certain female full screw (now an LE Captain) is on duty and decides to see if we can make all of our kit (Uniform, blankets, kitbags, wash kit, quite literally everything) fit into our mattress cover (minus the mattress) Then ask for some random bit of kit, such as a twister, collar dogs, spoon etc all the really small bits that had fallen to the bottom, of course you are not allow to take anything else out and so have to crawl into your mattress cover.
If you are reading this A.S. you were a complete bitch (Nice chebs though).
 
#20
(Back ground: I am a Japanese-Geordie - no shit).

1st July 1986 - Day 2 in the army

Cpl S - "You, Tojo, come here!"

I double over and 'come' to a sort of attention.

Cpl S - "I hear you're a Jap?"

Me - "Yes Corporal".

Cpl S - "My granda was killed in the war by the Japs, I f___in' hate Japs and kick the f__k out of them evertime I meet one".

Me - "Yes Corporal"

Cpl S - "Tojo, you better keep out of my way, otherwise I'm going to kick the f__k out of you".

Me - "Yes Corporal".

Cpl S - "Getawaaaaaaaay".

15th August 1986 (after being 'tortured' by Cpl S for being a Jap)

There is a God. Cpl S was killed today in a car accident!
 

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