Young & in love

Discussion in 'Lonely Hearts' started by shines, May 29, 2006.

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  1. I have been in the Army now for 16 years now, and during my time in, have seen lots, and i do mean LOTS of the younger soldiers (some of whom are not even in their 20s) getting mariied for one reason or another (girlfriend pregnant being the most common)
    Dont get me wrong i am not at all against this, but in a vast majority of the cases two or three years down the line a great many have split up and divorced. Again for various reasons (adultery, husband away too much etc etc).
    The reason for putting on this thread is to find out:
    a) Why do the soldiers still write a letter to a CO asking for permission to get married, (cant ever remember anyone being turned down) surely the SNCOs/Officers at units shoiuld be trying to discourage the younger lads/girls from getting married so early on in their life.
    b) What sort of percentage of the Army marriages of this type survive and fail.
    One example i can give is when we were on tour in Bosnia 92 some of us were writing to pen friends to quell the boredom, my mate who was 19 at the time was writing to one girl, who had three hids already and to cut a long story short when we returned from the tour, they met up and were married 3 months later. However 2 years down the line, they had large debts and she eventually left him, taking all the furniture from the quarter, and him financially up sh*t creek. Eventually he left the Army due to his money problems, and i considered him to be a good lad, if not a bit foolish for getting married as quick as he did.
  2. can I recruit you to my 'No one should be allowed to get married until they are 30' campaign???

    And doesn't it strike you as slightly odd that if you wish to breed cattle you need all kinds of licences and certificates and paperwork but we just let humans get on with it??

    Time for my medication ....
  3. Arent Junior Officers under the age of 25 advised not to get married as their first priority is meant to be to their troops?
  4. Showing my age here , when I got married you weren't entitled to f... all until you were 21 and Officers 25. As regards why so many fail I think it depends on the couple , those who put the work into the marriage and are determined , both of them , to make it work do so. We have been married for nearly 43 years . As to why she has put up with me all that time , I daredn't ask!!!!!!!
  5. Live and Learn?
  6. My wife left me for my best mate.

    Oh,I do miss him!
  7. True Story:

    Pte Smith: Sir, I got married while on leave.

    Me: Well congratulations Pte Smith! ... but ... err .... I wasn't aware that you were engaged ... and ... err should really have asked for permission first.

    Pte Smith: Well last time I asked permission sir, the Sarn't Major told me to f**k off and grow up!

    Me: So you married her anyway?

    Pte Smith: No sir, that was a different bird.
  8. Wonder how many different units have had that happen to them ? A lot of them give the excuse they want to get out of the block, and thats such a poor reason.
    They think that the older/wiser been there and seen it, are just giving them bad advice, when in actual fact we are trying to give them guidance. Obviously, this does not apply to all cases, but i suspect a vast majority
  9. In a supposedly modern, equal society why the feck do soldiers have to ask some knob rupert's permission to marry? It is high time the Army was dragged into the 21st Century from the early 19th FFS!
  10. Am I not correct in believing that being married has some (apparent) benefits in the Army, in contrast to the situation in Civvy Street, where it makes chuff-all difference (for the main part) whether you're married or simply co-habitting?
  11. err.... I thought I gave a prime example of 'why' 2 posts before yours. I hope for his sake, Pte 'Smith' is still happily married (to the same women) but the point was that he obviously wasn't exactly bessoted with the women he first wanted to marry.

    Besides, its all academic anyway. All good barrack room lawyers know that its just considered 'courtesy' now and somewhat traditional. I don't really see it as 'asking' the CO's permission but more like a formal way of announcing to the Army that you are embarking on a formal relationship. One that the Army should be prepared to recognise, as it potentially will affect posting preferences and how the soldier can cope with back-to-back deployments and exercises.

    If you don't like that for an explanation try this: The Army is full of funny rules and 'asking to get married' is part of playing the game. The Army isn't modern, equal or reflective of society in the 21st Century.
  12. Another true story from ord Sgt rear party regt on summer block leave.
    Girl shows up at guardroom looking for fiance, tpr J****

    Bird. I need to speak to him, we have papers to sign a registry office by this week.
    Me Sorry he's on leave didn't he give you his contact details? ( No mobiles back then)
    Bird No, but he said he was going to see his sister for a few days.
    Me, wait a bit I'll see if I can find anything out.
    A quick chat around the guys, J**** has no family someone has his contact number so I go over to RHQ to make a discreet call.
    Girl Answers Phone?????
    Me Can I speak to I** J**** Please he is put on the phone. J***H, your fiance is in our guardroom loking for you, she needs you to sign some papers down at the registry office, are you coming to speak to her or what.
    J***H. Nah Sgt, I'm not getting married to her anymore and I,m busy at the moment. Can you tell her for me?
    Trus story, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
    Told in the language of the day, this was 1987