Young chimps outperformed university students

#1
all taken from the BBC Chimps click here, students get a chimp to click it for you

anyone surprised?

Young chimps outperformed university students in memory tests devised by Japanese scientists.

The tasks involved remembering the location of numbers on a screen, and correctly recalling the sequence.

The findings, published in Current Biology, suggest we may have under-estimated the intelligence of our closest living relatives.
No one can imagine that chimpanzees - young chimpanzees at the age of five - have a better performance in a memory task than humans.
The university students were slower than all of the three young chimpanzees in their response.
only 3 pairs mother/child chimps we tested against and unknown number of students (presumably without their mothers)
Is anyone now worried that 'Planet of the Apes' could happen?
Who here fears that their job is in jeopardy from Chimps? Personally I can't see a chimp taking the step down from flinging poo at visitors to taking on my job, so I'm safe. Maybe we should be sending chimps to university and putting students in cages? It seems reasonable to me.
 
#2
theoriginalphantom said:
Maybe we should be sending chimps to university and putting students in cages? It seems reasonable to me.
Thought we already do - all they do is make noise, shit everywhere and eat bananas... and I should know!
 
#3
It's going to be a while before a chimp is put in a position of authority.

Perhaps the Yanks will be the first. Oh, wait a minute.....
 
#5
putteesinmyhands said:
It's going to be a while before a chimp is put in a position of authority.

Perhaps the Yanks will be the first. Oh, wait a minute.....
Another British first - we beat the septics to it.
 
#6
If the chimps are in the job market can I take over the shite throwing duties then please?

I wouldn't even need to wait for vistors as I can travel to wherever shite is required to be thrown.
 
#7
Ah, but were the chimps able to spout nonsensical opinions in braying voices while watching Trisha from their beds and eating pot noodle? 'Nuff said!

We share IIRC 98% of our DNA with chimps. When you look at students you realise chimps got the better deal on the other 2%.
 
#8
Were the Chimps fuelled on cheap lager/cider and off their tits on various 'pharmaceutical products'?
 
#9
smartascarrots said:
Ah, but were the chimps able to spout nonsensical opinions in braying voices while watching Trisha from their beds and eating pot noodle? 'Nuff said!

We share IIRC 98% of our DNA with chimps. When you look at students you realise chimps got the better deal on the other 2%.
if you share your DNA with chimps thats between you and the zoo keeper, but don't drag us into it. (how do you make sure they only get 98% of your spaff?)
 
#10
Does this mean the UOTC will start recruiting.......... chimps.no wait!
 
#12
Can't see it myself. The chimps in Bristol zoo do buggerall but sit on their arrses all day thrapping themselves into a frenzy. When they're not throwing shite about the place. Not at all like students, who sit on their...Oh.
 
#13
How, exactly, did they tell the two groups apart :?

I'll get my coat! :oops:
 
#14
theoriginalphantom said:
smartascarrots said:
Ah, but were the chimps able to spout nonsensical opinions in braying voices while watching Trisha from their beds and eating pot noodle? 'Nuff said!

We share IIRC 98% of our DNA with chimps. When you look at students you realise chimps got the better deal on the other 2%.
if you share your DNA with chimps thats between you and the zoo keeper, but don't drag us into it. (how do you make sure they only get 98% of your spaff?)
Look, she had a really nice personality, OK? And the things she could do with a banana...
 
#17
Just dont send them to Hartlepool, they wont last 2 minutes.
 
#19
Finished writing my end of term reports on this term's undergrads last week - I would much rather have been teaching chimps. They doubtless have better standards of intelligence, verbal reasoning skills and would be able to wash. And I might be able to get some oral off the chimps, since they have quite a poor sense of smell, apparently.
 
#20
_Artemis_ said:
Finished writing my end of term reports on this term's undergrads last week - I would much rather have been teaching chimps. They doubtless have better standards of intelligence, verbal reasoning skills and would be able to wash. And I might be able to get some oral off the chimps, since they have quite a poor sense of smell, apparently.
Well, what do you expect at such a second rate university?

Still, I'm not convinced that even the chimps would have wanted you playing with their bananas.
 

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