Youll like my Dad, hes in the army too.

#1
Inspired by Jester, I was thinking back to another moment of terror that a chap can experience.

I met a lass, who was rather nice, and we started seeing each other regularly. Eventually, time came (allegedly, according to her, anyway) for me to meet her parents.

"You'll like my dad", she said, "he's in the army too".

'Shit', thinks I, heres a predicament.

"What rank is he?"
"Dunno, really. He's got a pointy hat and sometimes carries a stick-thing that opens up."

Oh dear, oh dear.

It's a bit of a lose-lose situation. If we don't get on, there could a world of hurt. If we do get on, then I have to spend a lifetime pretending to be interested in SLRs, Ammo Boots and Bosnia.

Anyone else in a similar situation? Advice?
 
#2
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
 
#4
Smash her back doors in.

Can't believe your having to ask. :roll:
 
#5
bigbird67 said:
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
It happens. My own kids haven't much of a clue about the Army as we have chosen not to labour the point. I wouldn't be surprised if my own daughter (if put on the spot), would not be able to confirm my present rank.
The only area me and the long-haired General expect them to show an interest is in the charity/support side of the forces and to show some respect when appropriate (Remembrance Day, repatriations on the TV etc).
My dear old Mum was equally oblivious to my career path in the Army. I reckon Dad would have kept her up to speed, but unfortunately, he passed away 2 weeks after I picked up my first stripe - he spent all night informing the local pub of my success!

Back on thread. To the OP. Do it - you will earn masses of points off your peers!
 
#6
slipperman said:
bigbird67 said:
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
It happens. My own kids haven't much of a clue about the Army as we have chosen not to labour the point. I wouldn't be surprised if my own daughter (if put on the spot), would not be able to confirm my present rank.
Aye, same here, my kids would just ask if I was higher or lower than their pal's dad. They have no interest if I'm a Lance Jack or a General, although since my son started playing Call of Duty at least he has heard of different ranks.
 
#7
Many years ago I met a rather unattractive half German, half English (perhaps that should have been the givaway) bint in the Skatch (or was it Broadway's) nightclub in Traz and after tupping her in the master bedroom of what she told me was her flat (She appeared to be barely 18 so I didn't believe a word about the flat being hers but I was happy to go along for the 'ride') I decided to get a drink of water to try to wash away the taste of her Marlborough Fag encrusted breath. As I padded through the living room I spotted a photo of a very large man wearing mess dress that had the royal coat of arms on the sleeve together with an ugly woman who resembled an older version of the bird Id just given one to. On looking around I noticed a few other things including a pewter 432 on a wooden stand and and old photo of a lance Jack in No2's getting married positioned pride of place on the schrank. At first my brain didn't quite compute what I was seeing and thought it very odd that a random ugly girl would have a photo of a WO1 on her wall and other assorted army tat until I realised her dad was an RSM (not sure which one as there were quite a few units in Traz then) and I had just scuttled the apple of his eye in his matrimonial bed.

They do say that time slows down when you are in mortal danger and I can vouch for that as I moved like an extra from the matrix back to the bedroom, put my trolleys and shirt on and without another word (from me anyway, she seemed rather upset for some reason?) left the flat, bolted down the stairs and ran faster than a greased gazelle as far from the building as possible.

My advice to you Rantallion is stay well clear :D
 
#8
Rantallion said:
Inspired by Jester.........

Anyone else in a similar situation?
Always nice to meet the fans. They named a Dell laptop after the effect I have on people too.

Haha... I can now imagine several fellow arrsers furiously Googling the worse Dell laptop name they can find right about now...!

Back on thread, I do have a similar themed story from my early days, but about to go out for a meal with Mrs Jester. Look forward to the drunken version later. No doubt written whilst I'm in the 'doghouse' sometime later this evening for being a drunken bum :)
 

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#9
I had a similar experience once. Pulled some Geordie scutter in a bar in Portsmouth and went back to 'hers.'

Turned out 'hers' was also her mum and dad's, dad being a Royal Navy WO1 gunner.

As a baby sailor straight out of training I thought it wise to not continue the liaison after the first shag. My decision was reinforced as I left quietly in the early hours, admiring her dad's pace stick which was hanging on the wall.
 
#10
Been there - Done that.

I was the winner of a pig fight whilst on a platoon night out to MG a few years ago.

Oh my horror as I came to and found out that my prized possession for the evening was the daughter of a WO2 who although his daughter was clearly over the age of legal consent (By a while I might add) she was still his little princess (Who'd have thought princesses could have a face like an arrse).

C_J Exits Stage Right very quickly after that one and bolts for the relative safety of the Naafi Max to show his mates the mobile phone footage he had obtained to prove his win.
 
#12
Its worse when you find out that daddy is a WO1 in the SIB never in my life have I ever run so fast thank god it was in the 8o's in germany and he was a piss head.
 
#13
bigbird67 said:
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
I never knew my Dads rank whilst he was serving. As a kid you don't care about these things.
 
#14
BigPapaSierra said:
Pinch the stick and hat and as you destroy her scream "Who's the Daddy now!!"
Pikey them full stop, might aswell go the full hog. Better have a fucking good place to hide them aswell, shoving them in the block just isn't going to cut it.
 
#15
smudge67 said:
bigbird67 said:
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
I never knew my Dads rank whilst he was serving. As a kid you don't care about these things.
I knew my Dad's rank when he was serving. I didn't know what he did in teh Army , he said he would tell me but then have to kill me afterwards.
 

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#16
smudge67 said:
bigbird67 said:
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
I never knew my Dads rank whilst he was serving. As a kid you don't care about these things.
My dad was a Field Marshal, I always found it funny that the Army made us live in a three bedroom house and the best car they could sort him out with was a Mk II Escort.

Cutbacks I suppose.
 

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#17
spoiltb said:
smudge67 said:
bigbird67 said:
A pad brat who doesn't know her dad's rank??? Hmmmmm
I never knew my Dads rank whilst he was serving. As a kid you don't care about these things.
I knew my Dad's rank when he was serving. I didn't know what he did in teh Army , he said he would tell me but then have to kill me afterwards.
So, chef then :D
 
#18
From the other side of the fence, My future son in law has joined his battery boxing team, Nice boy, PTI type but a bloody gun bunny.

However, imagine my glee, when it was mentioned by my daughter that I could help him train. The look on the poor little buggers face was a treat, as he is a middle weight novice and I'm a super heavy in my mid 30s with lots of dirty tricks up my sleeve and, after a bit of basic instruction, a sparring sesh will be taking place where I may forget only to punch at 50%.



Nice lad, but the chance to give your daughters boyfriend a shoeing, is every parents dream.

And he'll thank me for it
 
#19
Picked up a young lady many years ago in darkest Jockland and she persuaded me to take her back to her gaff (30 miles drive) with the promise of a good time. The good time eventually happened (the dirty little bitch) and I was enjoying myself until granny decides to poke her head around the door as DLB is moving her head as though it was about to come off in my hands (so to speak). That's probably the quickest way to get a soft-on!

Anyway, granny had the face of a CSM I remembered from my training days so we decided to spend the remaining part of the night chatting to her. I got an apology (and a BJ) from DLB whence next we met!
 
#20
taffridge said:
From the other side of the fence, My future son in law has joined his battery boxing team, Nice boy, PTI type but a bloody gun bunny.

However, imagine my glee, when it was mentioned by my daughter that I could help him train. The look on the poor little buggers face was a treat, as he is a middle weight novice and I'm a super heavy in my mid 30s with lots of dirty tricks up my sleeve and, after a bit of basic instruction, a sparring sesh will be taking place where I may forget only to punch at 50%.



Nice lad, but the chance to give your daughters boyfriend a shoeing, is every parents dream.

And he'll thank me for it
that is brilliant, pure class
 

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