You utter Chod

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Nugger, Jul 30, 2013.

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  1. Only just hit me today, 6 yrs later, a Burd who was "a friend", Jenni, all those doulbe-entendres over the years, all the times I ve phantasised about her, only to realise now, that it took her 3-4 minutes to answer the door, and she stood before me in a towel with dry hair.......

    Maybe I was too gentlemanly,I now realise that she was probably clothed when I rang the door-bell, de-kitted, but I just didnt read inbetween the lines,......she was gagging for it and I only accepted her "Englische Tee".

    What a loser.

    Be an honest man and post your biggest "Non-exchange of bodily fluids"
  2. The time in green I managed not to swap DNA with others in green, still if I was a Crab it would've been mandatory.

  3. Maybe she was in bed with someone else when you rang. :)
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  4. When I saw your mum.

    The trout.
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  5. We were just thinking the same.
  6. NAAFI -check.

    My half sisters are utter loons.
    Every word, every movement i make...

    The bastard inbreds
  7. but on arrival at the premises, she was alone and we drank a cup of tea....

  8. I doubt it Fally, she s a top ride!
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  9. Dont fucking moan, all the women i know on here see me as "nice" and "safe" that means they see me as borderline gay!!

    I want to be exotic and dangerous, a sexual tyrannosaurus, with a nickname like killer, psycho, or chicken strangler, but no, im stuck with Honey Monster.
  10. good point by Syledis, you have to flirt and make at least one sexy comment for the very reason that if you don't you will be in the safe friend category of which there is no return.

    Even the amoral bastard can move categories to become the lover(usually when acquiring a bit of money). The friend will just be a friend .

    You daft shitcunt
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  11. All the men see you as a spineless cunt who couldn't get a fuck in Raoul's with $50 Belizean hanging out your fly.
  12. You are probably right but i prefer my description!
  13. I was living in Sicily, aged 20 and naive. I met a bird at the bus stop from Finland drinking a beer. She was not a great looker but very doable. She told me she was off home the next day but had nowhere to stay the night. Could she stay at mine?

    I told her I only had one bed. She told me that was fine with her. I said no, where will I sleep?

    She threw the bottle at me.

    Unfortunately it missed.

    That was 25 years ago and I've still not forgiven myself.

    I was young and stupid and the only cunt that was ever going to be full of my cum was me.

    Oh toe curling memories be gone!!!

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  14. I thought this was going to be a thread about Bryan The Mogadon!
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