You Sleazy Brit B*st*rds!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jun 27, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Well, its all come clear now..
    This straight from the horse's ass - er- mouth!

    According to the official pronouncement of Iranian Foreign Minister, Manouchehr Mottaki,the recent ' unrest' there is all a nefarious British plot..

    Seems HM Government secretly ordered British Airways to swap all its scheduled flights to Tehran with larger 747 jets, which were all packed with ' hand-picked' passengers with special intelligence and security ambitions who flooded into downtown Tehran, received coded messages on the BBC's Persian language network and persuaded otherwise unwilling Iranians to protest the legal and binding elections.

    With that revelation I have no doubt that Michael Jackson was done in by a James Bondian infiltrator hired by the Brit tour promoters so that they wouldn't have to mount the ridiculously expensive ' comeback tour' series of concerts [ 50 FFS! ].. this way they collect the huge insurance payout cause Jacko ' defaulted' on his contract, the creidt card companies are on the hook for the tickets purchased and only a small percentage of the public will be ' refunded' their costs [ see the fine print on the back of the stubs ].. Promoters walk away with tons of cash al a Mel Brooks' The Producers as they don't have to share the money with the backers...

    oh, the horror, the conspiracies.. what other plots and schemes is Brown up to?
  2. Fook me, that was a very cunning plan. It could only have been dreamed up by Mr Cowley of CI5
    I suspect the Iranians may be over-estimating the intelligence of Mr Brown by a considerable margin.
  3. I think they must be over estimating us being able to afford the flight.
  4. Sounds too much like hard work. Are you sure they mean us?
  5. Okay, I hold my hands up, we did want to do that, but when we got to the airport we got pished & the BA Stewardess wouldn't let us on the flight, lucky the Iranians just decided to crack on anyway :)
  6. ...I think we got blamed for exactly the same move by S Hussein before/during his holiday to Kuwait.
  7. It was actualy quite cheap and easy to organise, we simply spread a rumour that they could now claim benefits in Iran, as well as in the UK.
  9. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    If they don't shut up we ought to send Arthur Bean and that Doris back that'll show em whose boss
  10. What's wrong? iPod quit working? Tell them to change the batteries.
  11. these iranians have a sense of humor.

    although I must say, blaming it on britain is terribly bad form.
    we have enough problems with our own politicians, without someone else's deciding to join in.
  12. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    I can't help feeling it's back to school
    They've been caught out
    They need someone to blame
    Lets not blame the big boy (America) they might kick fukc out of us
    Lets blame his little weedy mate who might have a whinge to the big boy but wont start anything on his own
  13. You Sleazy Brit B*st*rds! - I heard the calling and here I am...

    Can just imagine some dumb ass young journo having discovered this Gem of a News Leak and has scarpered off to the print shop to get this on Page 1 in time for the early bird paper round :lol:
  14. That ploy worked for me when I was young. Good to see it still being used. :D