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You probably shouldn't look at this.

I'm gutted I didn't think of getting a photo of the brown battleship I produced on Friday but I didn't have my phone with me at the time.

You could easily have stuck 45 F/A-18s on it and saved the country billions on new aircraft carriers though.


It's the work bog. And it was recently cleaned. I just have super strength turds with extra staining power.
..........................There was a young 2LT Pl Comd in the Depot, who's staff thought he was a bit wet behind the ears.
Lets call him 2Lt Cholmondley.

On an inspection of the Platoon Accommodation, he walked into the toilets & spotted a very small bit of shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl.

Cpl Jones...what is that?
Jones replied, 'that's ok sir, I'll sort it' & scooped the piece of shit up with his forefinger & licked the finger clean.

The Rupert was horrified, until Jones (not his real name) told him that it was a small piece of Mars Bar, not shit.

The Rupert was very impressed! & asked if he could do that on the Company Commanders Inspection the following morning.

The following morning, the Company Commander on seeing the toilets, said Mr Chumley What is that?

Rupert replies 'It's ok sir I'll sort it', scooped the piece of shit up with his forefinger & licked the finger clean.

Then ran into the washroom & was violently sick!

Cpl Jones went for the realistic option.

Why put a bit of Mars bar in the Bog, when the real thing does a better job!

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