We've all heard the expression "fcuk me, you need pulling through with a christmas tree you do!" when someone has dropped an exceptionally offensive air biscuit before, but is there actually a way of cleaning one's guts out good and proper? (I do realise that swallowing a piece of rifle cleaning kit attached to hundres of metres of fishing line is not possible) I ask this as for the last few days I have been releasing some of the nastiest farts I ever have ever smelt - you know they're bad when you don't like your own brew. They smell a lot like the gas that comes out of your kitchen hob, with a strong hint of baby-poo. They linger about 10 minutes too. I have managed to convince a young lady to visit me this weekend and it's going to be awkward if the bottom problem doesn't clear up. My shits are normal and my diet hasn't changed, but the wind literally smells like something died up there. Short of doing a Dale Winton and sticking a lubed up garden hose up my brown-eye and giving it a rinse out, is there any way to clear this up in 24 hours? Posted in NAAFI not Health so I get the relevant slagging, comedy answers and your own gopping-arrse related stories, as well as any proper remedies. Cheers.