You might be an American Para if...

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Trip_Wire, Sep 20, 2006.

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  1. Trip_Wire

    Trip_Wire RIP

    You might be a Paratrooper if....

    *Your kids make their friends do 10 pull-ups before they enter or exit the backyard
    *You have a certificate of your kids birth and it states they have completed one successful static line jump
    *You know how much room there is left in a for one more jumper
    *You do a clear to the rear out your back door to check for any obstructions
    *Prior to your kids entering the bathtub you give them STAND BY
    *You have sent a private to get the keys to area J
    *You have a "Swing Landing Aparatus" in your backyard
    *You have walked through an airport with a duffle bag on your back and a backpack on your chest
    *You know what a woobie is, and you'll fight for one!
    *You slap your thigh two times and use an open hand to point things out to others, such as: "It's over there, by the - SLAP, SLAP - water cooler."
    *While you deliver the mail, you're judging the gusts of wind as "do-able", or race-tracks
    *You wrap 100mph tape on your wedding ring to make fit better
    *Your living room curtains came from the Rigger shed
    *You answer True/False questionaires with "Clear!" and "Not Clear!"
    *You have ever thrown up intentionally to make room for more beer
    *Someone has bent over in front of you and you have the urge slap their butt and say "all ok"
    **You have a tattoo that says "Better to Burn in Than to Fade away"
    *You see your wife in a sexy silk nighty, you instinctually try to check canopy and gain canopy control
    *Your kid gets ready for school and it's time to put on his backpack, you tell him to "RIG UP" and then you JMPI him
    *You know why the 34ft tower is 34ft
    *You wake up your toddler from her nap and tell her to quit shamming
    **Your kids point to anyone who is in uniform without wings and say "Look Daddy it's a Leg!"
    *You do the Airborne Shuffle while closing your shower curtain
    *You have ever sent a Cherry to supply for Chemlite Batteries
  2. Got one for recon or rangers there? I can't get to sleep and this one hasn't quite bored me to that state yet... :p
  3. Trip_Wire

    Trip_Wire RIP

    Try a .45 to the temple!
  4. Temple? I go to chaple myself I do... I'm a closet End Timer! :wink:
  5. You might be an American para wannabe if you post drivel like this.Save it for the recruits. :x
  6. Trip_Wire

    Trip_Wire RIP

    Out of curiostiy are you a Para or an ex-Para? :wink:
  7. Nope.Never was.Thats why I dont reprint recruitment brochures.
  8. Trip_Wire

    Trip_Wire RIP

    Yeah! That says it all! :roll:
  9. Of what relevence is his service history to the point at hand - Whether or not you are a dull cnut.
  10. You've done the Para course. Saves all the drivel by a mile. And no I was never a para, never wanted to be. I was and always will be a Sapper.

  11. Yeah, why can't you make a really interesting post like FaceLikeAPingPong Ball does, and I quote:

    Ok, we've had the Great Cake or Death debate and poll, but the question the world really wants answeed is:

    Cake or Pussy?

    He put that gem up straight after he got home from high school and just before he went out to 'play army'.