You may be a Taliban, if....

#1
Gents, please feel free to add to as is necessary:

"You May Be Taliban, If ..."

1.You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.


2.You own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.


3.You have more wives than teeth.


4.You wipe your arse with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'


5.You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.


6.You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.


7.You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.


8.You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.


9.You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'


10.You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.


11.You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.


12.You've ever had a crush on your neighbour's goat.
 
#3
I like goats.

And I am definately not Taleban, besides this is old!

Try this, should get a few teeth spitting!

Contractors Creed

I am a UK contractor. I look out for myself, the operators to my left and right, and no one else. I will always take advantage of the fact that I can finally tell military officers to kiss my arse, and will do so at every opportunity.

I am my country's scapegoat, the "plausible deniability" warrior, and I love it.

Less than £250 a day is unacceptable.

I am trained to eat things that would make a goat puke, but will
refuse anything less than $30 per day because I am greedy.

I care not for medals and awards for valour. I do this job for the
opportunity to kill the enemies of my country, and to finally get that
car I've always wanted.

I will be in better shape than 99% of the active duty personnel, although this is not hard.

I will equip myself with the latest high speed gear, and will trick out
my M4 until it weighs more than 24 lbs, not because it works better, but because it looks cool in the photographs.

I will carry more weapons, ammunition, and implements of death on my person than an infantry fire team, and when engaged I will lay waste to everything around me.

In any combat zone, I will always locate the swimming pool, beer, and women first, ….. because I can.

I will deploy on my terms, and if it ever gets too stupid, I will simply find another company that pays me more.
 
#4
Can't see anything wrong with that, other than it being a piece of recycled american rubbish.
 
#5
I am THE TALIBAN. I look out for myself, the operators to my left and right, and no one else. I will always take advantage of the fact that I can finally tell OCCUPYING FORCES to kiss my arse, and will do so at every opportunity.

I am my country's (i.e PAKISTAN'S) scapegoat, the "plausible deniability" warrior, and I love it.

Less than £2 a day is unacceptable.

I am trained to eat things that would make a goat puke, but will
refuse anything less than $3 per day because I am greedy.

I care not for medals and awards for valour. I do this job for the
opportunity to kill the enemies of my country, and to finally get that
car I've always wanted.

I will be in better shape than 99% of the active duty personnel, although this is not hard.

I will equip myself with the latest RELIABLE BUT EFFECTIVE gear, and will trick out
my AK until it CAN BE HIDDEN IN A SHED, not because it works better, but because it looks cool in the photographs WHEN SKY NEWS TURN UP.

I will carry more weapons, ammunition, and implements of death on my person than an infantry fire team, and when engaged I will lay waste to everything around me.

In any combat zone, I will always locate the swimming pool, beer, and women first, ….. because I can THEN THROW A GRENADE AT THEM.

I will deploy on my terms, and if it ever gets too stupid, I will simply find another MULLAH that pays me more.
Fixed it for you....
 
#6
Can't see anything wrong with that, other than it being a piece of recycled american rubbish.
Yep, you're right, couldn't post what I had in mind as the site won't let me copy PPT
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top