You know youre now a civilian when.......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by intergeri, Feb 26, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. 1. I call my boss Mike, his boss Larry, and his boss Bob.
    2. Kiwi regains its meanings as a flightless bird native to New Zealand.

    3. I'm now making full use of both arms for carrying items, and save loads of time not looking for my hat (once I realized I don't wear one anymore).

    4. One look at my new paycheck and I now know why they called it the L.E.S.(S). figure out what to wear to work.

    5. I can again use the "passive" voice in my writing without the grammar police smacking my knuckles.

    6. Forget to shave? Just tell 'em you're starting your beard that day! Haircut? Ha!

    7. Can walk to the right side of Mike, Larry, and Bob without violating some medieval concept of courtesy.

    8. Have finally worked "Airborne", "Hoo-Ah", Sh*!", and "Fu#@" out of my daily vocabulary.

    9. Business lunches, golfing, and baseball season tickets are considered an essential part of work.

    10. The ability to run long distances quickly and do many push-ups or sit-ups is not confused for intelligence, leadership potential, or degree of motivation.

    11. Have determined brown T-shirts and OD Socks go with nothing in the real world.

    12. Can fly to New Zealand to see small flightless birds without having to get permission and a bunch of signatures on an DA Form 31.

    13. Can't remember the last time the shoes I wore to work got any mud on them.

    14. Office empty at 5:15 PM. Only people left behind are ex-military whose wives couldn't take the shock of seeing their spouses before 7:00PM.

    15. No guards at the entrance to my subdivision.

    16. All the years of learning great cadences wasted on the civilian world.

    17. Discovered jumping out of a perfectly good plane on a business trip is a federal offense.

    18. If a cannon goes off at the office at 6:30 AM or 5:00 PM you call 999.

    19. No harassment from people with nothing better to do than worry whether my coat is zipped or not.
  2. Not being surprised when you've brought a ticket for an event 2 months in advance and actually went to it!

    Being able to see doctors and dentists at YOUR convienience is no longer a novelty.

    If you have a bad cold you can take 2 days off in bed, noit be given a chit which says 'light dutues' on it which means that you work the same anyway. To be bedded down in the army requires you to have the same kind of affliction that a civvy would need to be placed intensive care with!

    No longer being surprised that every weekend is free.
  3. You know you're a septic when..... :roll:
  4. You want to join the army.
  5. I can question my boss when I know that he's wrong.

    I can let my work boots get dirty, and not need to polish them for inspection the next morning.

    I can pretty much get the clothing/stores that I need without question.

    If a works vehicle breaks, it will get fixed with the correct spares.

    NAAFI break is at 10 and 3, not 1000hrs and 1500hrs.
  6. ... someone asks you the time and you don't feel the urge to shout in a drill pig style "There is only one time... ONE, TWO THREE, ONE !
  7. Having your hands in your pockets for longer than 30 seconds is not rewarded with a quick trip around the square.
  8. you WALT on Arrse.
  9. ;

    You get excited that you don't have to shave

    Or, like most of the people I know who have left the services

    You grow a huge beard/70's sideburns/weird haircut (usually ponytail)

  10. Not a septic, just had it emailled to me from one.
  11. you join the TA :D
  12. You realise that you dont have to glomp your scoff with a racing spoon because lunch hour is precisely hour.
  13. Have postd this link in the internet links but thought i'd stick it here too as it's from same person responsible for above, have everyone in my office reading it and giggling :D
  14. When you get investigated for intimidation and harassment for locking new starts in cupboards for hours on end.
  15. Or for playing freckles with the new apprentices. I find it brings out the competativeness in them and is good (not so)clean fun