You know youre getting old when.......

#1
the thought of curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a good DVD is more appealing than going out and getting trolleyed.

You wear flat shoes on a night out because they are more comfortable.

You go to bed earlier and earlier and get up earlier and earlier.

Sex is just a distant memory.

Your car radio is tuned into SAGA FM
 
#9
you spend your weekends trawling through b+q for "somthing nice for the garden"

you wake up in a care home with no recolection of the day, time or what your name is!
 
#12
You stop having wet dreams and dry farts and start having dry dr.........

You are still a twice a night man, but now you are counting nocturnal trips to the bathroom...

You start to think Anne Widdecombe is really rather ..............

You buy a pair of those special trousers that have a waistband just under the armpits and are held up by braces....

You start wearing a flat cap and drive at 20mph under the speed limit.....

You finally become eligible to join the Young Conservatives...
 
#20
You can't remember your name, but you can remember lovely old Mavis who lived at numer 37. You know, big girl, worked in the canteen at the pits.

Anyone for a lovely cup of tea?

Darling, I think I've had an accident.