You know youre getting old when.......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sniperbird, Apr 15, 2005.

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  1. the thought of curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a good DVD is more appealing than going out and getting trolleyed.

    You wear flat shoes on a night out because they are more comfortable.

    You go to bed earlier and earlier and get up earlier and earlier.

    Sex is just a distant memory.

    Your car radio is tuned into SAGA FM
  2. You rather go and buy a chinkie and rent a DVD on a Saturday night then reply to a text from a girl who's asked you out to the pub, and more besides........
  3. For no apparent reason, you decide to make a bonfire!!
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  4. You wake up in a pool of your own piss and you havent been drinking.

    You "want to go home now"
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  5. You've just celebrated your 90th birthday.
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  6. You stink off pizz
  7. You have a bag of army and navy sweets by your rocking chair.
  8. You find Mooch funny...
  9. you spend your weekends trawling through b+q for "somthing nice for the garden"

    you wake up in a care home with no recolection of the day, time or what your name is!
  10. your nephew ask's WHY your CD's are soooo big???(he was looking at my LP's)eeeeeeeeeeeeeek
  11. All of your favorite songs are being played on capital gold.
  12. You stop having wet dreams and dry farts and start having dry dr.........

    You are still a twice a night man, but now you are counting nocturnal trips to the bathroom...

    You start to think Anne Widdecombe is really rather ..............

    You buy a pair of those special trousers that have a waistband just under the armpits and are held up by braces....

    You start wearing a flat cap and drive at 20mph under the speed limit.....

    You finally become eligible to join the Young Conservatives...
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  13. A government bloke comes round and fits an Extra loud dial on your T.V
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  14. You start buying Worthers Originals.....
  15. Your sat in on a Friday night typing a response to a thread entitled 'you know your getting old when....'
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