You know youre a cop when.....

#1
I found this on an American Police forum, septic speak aside, how many of these apply to us? (this will probably end up in the hole!!)

YOU MAY BE A COP IF ....

You have the bladder capacity of five people.
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.

Your idea of a good time is a gun run or a car chase.

You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

You have your weekends off planned for a year.

You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it's located.

You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide...getting it right the first time."

You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.

You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow more than a .15

You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

Anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me."

People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places...and you know where it's located.

You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.

You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you, Bill."

You do not see daylight from November until May.

People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think they're being hugely funny and original.

A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks, and 5 pairs of underwear.

You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my Friday".

You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."

Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.

You find humor in other people's stupidity.

You have left more meals on the restaurant table than you've eaten.

You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too tight".
 
#2
You know you're a cop when the bad back that's kept you off work on full pay for months clears up miraculously around the time of the big match.
 
#4
You know you're a copper when your only friends are other coppers.
 
#5
smartascarrots said:
You know you're a cop when the bad back that's kept you off work on full pay for months clears up miraculously around the time of the big match.
Meoowww. Saucer of milk, table 5.
 
#7
You prefer to put pictures of naked children on your profile than the opposite/same/transgendered etc sex.
 
#9
you know your a cop when you check your mates roadtax ,when your round your mates house and you run an eye over the house plants,when you go to car boot sales on your day off to find stolen goods 8O
 
#11
When you don't respond to a legitimate complaint and then arrest the complainant at a later date because he's had enough.



*not that it happened to me I add!*
 
#16
You are the only one in the pub wearing a jacket on the hottest day of the year.

You feel weird wearing a seatbelt.

You write the registration of random vehicles in saliva on the windows of your car while driving so you can breath on them later to check them out.

You are the only person you know that treats Wednesday night as the biggest night of the week.

You pray for rain every weekend.
 
#17
BlotBangRub said:
You are the only one in the pub wearing a jacket on the hottest day of the year.

You feel weird wearing a seatbelt.

You write the registration of random vehicles in saliva on the windows of your car while driving so you can breath on them later to check them out.

You are the only person you know that treats Wednesday night as the biggest night of the week.

You pray for rain every weekend.
You're the only police force in the British Isles that has been f***ed over by bLair & sold down the Laggan!
 
#18
when you are not allowed out to do your job in the snow for H&S reasons (or is that just South Wales police?)
 
#20
you know your a cop when you get caught driving an unmarked doing 200mph to which you tell your fellow cops i was testing it go to court (twice) and get away with it
 

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