You know you are getting old when...

Dicky Ticker

War Hero
Pee in the potplant. Or your keks, like a lot of us on here have done recently (no inference of that warm, slightly smelly feeling when you get up).
Just get a length of hose and a jubilee clip, run one end of the hose out the door and secure the other end using the jubilee clip....
 
You know she might have a thing about Father Christmas and was hoping for a special delivery from Santas sack over the tables after the cafe was closed.

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I know my limits - I may feel 25 and with a 28 inch waist in my head, but the mirror tells me differently (when I dare to look into it)!
I doubt she had anything on her mind other than getting me into that Santa outfit!
 
You know she might have a thing about Father Christmas and was hoping for a special delivery from Santas sack over the tables after the cafe was closed.

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You know you're getting old when you can't kneel.

I haven't knelt in about ten years. The man cave needed a cooker hood over the welding table. It was obvious that rainman2 wasn't going to do it, as he started working on the car, ergo, if he made himself useful, we couldn't have a go.

I climbed up onto the table, only needing one step. All the tools were laid out so I could do the whole job, including fitting the outlet ducting, in one job. Twenty minutes later, it was working, unlike my knees.

Went to bed at 20:30, still struggling to walk today.

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I empathise- fortunately I can still get round the car, but I do need to plot actually standing up from prone.
 

Whining Civvy

Old-Salt
"Under 25s" seems to characterise the only (at least majority of . . . ), "talking-heads" that inhabit my TV screen !! :( .
Get off xhamster then you pervert.
 

ColdWarWorrier

Old-Salt
I went for a haircut last week. The young lady doing (what’s left of) my hair was probably mid-30s. I was fantasising that I could still pull her if I tried. Until it came time to pay:

“Do you qualify for OAP discount?” she asked.

I’m not even 60 yet, another few months, but not yet. That made me feel old.

I’ve realised that young ladies of her age smiling at me is not a reflection of my virile manliness, but just sympathy for the doddery old git they see who probably reminds them of their Dad, or even their Grandad.
 
I must be getting old because...I hurt

Just little things, nothing serious, but increasing numbers of them. At the weekend I counted 6 different aches and pains - foot, knees, back, shoulder, jaw and head. Individually just niggles but, in concert, each one feels worse than it, hopefully, really is.

So, I did what any self respecting man would do in this situation and drunk myself into a stupor and passed out took some painkillers and went to bed at 9pm :(

Anyone we know, pics or it didn't happen.
 
I went for a haircut last week. The young lady doing (what’s left of) my hair was probably mid-30s. I was fantasising that I could still pull her if I tried. Until it came time to pay:

“Do you qualify for OAP discount?” she asked.

I’m not even 60 yet, another few months, but not yet. That made me feel old.

I’ve realised that young ladies of her age smiling at me is not a reflection of my virile manliness, but just sympathy for the doddery old git they see who probably reminds them of their Dad, or even their Grandad.
Funnily enough, when I was going to the barbers here when we moved over 10 years ago and I was just about 60, the barber would automatically give me the OAP discount.
Went last week (now that I'm 70) and the girl said you're not an OAP, are you?
Must be getting better as I age (I wish).
(I have been going fairly regularly and, no, I didn't actually wait 10 years between haircuts).

This bloody thread is causing the problems. Went up a ladder about 3 or 4 times yesterday (only about 8 feet up) to clear some stuff. This morning, the backs of my legs are soddin' well killing me. Must use those muscles a bit more often.
 
I empathise- fortunately I can still get round the car, but I do need to plot actually standing up from prone.
I feel your pain. It's easy (ish) getting under the P5B, but it's a bugger getting up.
Boxing day old uns V younguns. I may borrow some boots and give a ten minute cameo. On the other hand, I may just drink loads and moan about bloody kids.
 

Sammer

War Hero
Meeting my daughter’s best friend, and her mother.
Whispered between friend and mother.

“Is that her grandad?”
 

ericferret

War Hero
Meeting my daughter’s best friend, and her mother.
Whispered between friend and mother.

“Is that her grandad?”
In Morrisons

Small child with mother looks at me and says "Daddy", mum looks embarrased.
Child has second look and then says "Grandpa".

Oh well a chap can dream for a few seconds before reality in the form of a small child deals him a mortal blow.
 

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
When your girlfriend's mum is only a few years older than you and her stepdad is younger.. (I'm 49 and the g/f is 34 before any yewtree comments are made)
 

needlewaver

Old-Salt
You knew the present Colonels (not the COs) of two cavalry regiments when they were nig louies.

The Colonel in Chief of your regiment was a nig louie after your time. Now he's a respected elder statesman king.
Young Mr Jordan? My FiL was his SSM.
 

ColdWarWorrier

Old-Salt
I’ve got a little part-time job where there are a few stunning young Eastern European girls working.

One of the 20-something Romanian girls commented how British people seem to age better than oldies in her homeland.

“Oh,” I said, drawing myself up to my full height and sticking my chest out: “so how old do I look, then?”

She looked me up and down and replied: “About 60?”.

I’m 59.

Ah well, another fantasy about me frolicking with Eastern European fillies dashed. She also mentioned she was going back home soon for a special party. Her Mum’s 50th.
 

sirbhp

LE
Book Reviewer
You know you are getting old when...
youve fallen over and have been laying in yer own piss for two hours. Not expacting this so early !
 
I’ve got a little part-time job where there are a few stunning young Eastern European girls working.

One of the 20-something Romanian girls commented how British people seem to age better than oldies in her homeland.

“Oh,” I said, drawing myself up to my full height and sticking my chest out: “so how old do I look, then?”

She looked me up and down and replied: “About 60?”.

I’m 59.

Ah well, another fantasy about me frolicking with Eastern European fillies dashed. She also mentioned she was going back home soon for a special party. Her Mum’s 50th.
The opposite a week ago.
Someone I hadn't seen for about 10 years who had recently retired asked me how these new pension affected me.
'Oh I'm fin, I retired 26 months ago'.
Taken early retirement, you've well.
I retired at 65.
 

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