Ive been off Arrse (easy Jarrod!) for a couple of weeks on a mission with you-know-who so Ive missed whats been going on. Anyhoo, now that its warm and sunny here are a few tips for spotting that its summer 1) Ugly overweight women showing mounds of soon to be pink flesh and tacky tattoos of dolphins or their kids names or tattoos they tried to DIY at school. 2) Tossers with gelled hair racing around with all their car windows down and the stereo cranked up to 11. 3) A&E clogged with serious cases of BBQ induced food poisoning caused by blerks who have no idea of what a BBQ should be like. 4) A&E clogged with serious cases of 70% BBQ induced burns caused by blerks who have no idea of what a BBQ should be like. 5) Supermarkets selling crap beer at ridiculously low prices. 6) The Sun telling us Phew, what a scorcher! 7) Some old biddy complaining how hot it is, just 24 hours into any temperature over 20Deg C. TSO thrashing around the bed at night (Stop it!) cos its too hot. 9) The hissing of lawns. 10) Warnings about UV levels. 11) People on public transport smelling of BO and garlic. Just like being on holiday in the Med. really. How soon before we see another drought warning?