You have to aspire to this p0rn star!!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Jul 13, 2007.

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  1. Was having a discussion today about "MILF" porn, when the subject got around to the "Screw my wife please" series that is apparently (I have never perused such filth,honest ) very popular on the intermenet.

    I was informed, and initially did not beleive, that the producer, a certain Mr Dave Cummings (real name David Conners) was an ex yank officer.

    After some internet research, it turns out that it is true.

    West Point graduate, Bachelor of Science, Degree in Economics, Masters in Public administration, 25 years as an officer, Vietnam veteran and a Lt Colonel when he jacked!!

    He got into porn at 55 after leaving the mob and now, at 66, is considered to be the oldest man in porn after making over 500 films!

    I am in awe of the man. No longer do I worry about getting it up in 17 years time when I will only be as old as he was when he jacked the mob, I am now only dissapointed that I haven't been in 10,000 p0rn films of my own.

    A true squaddie / p0rn hero (although I wouldn't let him any where near my fucking missus!)

    I reckon he deserved a mention as he surely has all of our dream jobs, but on the down side, could any of us honestly ever say that any of our ex CO's could even remotely be thought of as that fucking cool :)

    Anyway, if a Rodney can do it, it'll be a piece of piss for the rest of us :)
  2. As a seppo wouldn't his mates be in danger of friendly fire in the cumshot scenes?
  3. Thats the least of his worries - what happens if they send in the Cav to kick the back doors in...
  4. I'm afraid it's all done by special effects. Dave hasn't got it up since 1968 when his 'moving target' met with an untimely end at the hands of a vietcong sniper in Saigon.

    Fortunately, Dave was best mates with George Lucas at West Point before George dropped out to pursue a career in the movies. George got the idea for Darth Vader when Dave got a whif of CS inside his respirator and started speaking in a funny voice during the NBC course. Lacking the strength to remove the respirator by himself, Dave implored his friend to "Use some force George, use some force".

    George owes Dave for the massive success of Star Wars and he tries to repay the debt by indulging his old friend's rather sad porn star fantasies. When they're not busy with Harry Potter sequels, George has his computer special effects gurus at Industrial Light and Magic digitally graft John Holmes' massive manhood onto Dave's puny body in all of the films Dave makes.

    The arrangement worked well until a catastrophic mistake in the digital editing suite led to complaints from Dave's customers. In his latest DVD, Dave appeared to be doing the business with what looked like a wizard's wand attached to his lower regions. Realising what had happened, George immediately dispatched a crew round to Warner Bros to sieze all of the pre-release copies of the soon to be released Harry Potter movie. On playing the film, George's worst fears were confirmed as he watched Hermione Granger casting spells using John Holmes' 'wand'.

    Fortunately, a near disaster was averted when George destroyed all copies of the movie (except for one that he retained for his 'personal use'). Whether Dave and George's friendship survives this debacle remains to be seen.
  5. Hi might be out of the army but he is still standing to attention.
  6. lucky fcuker.

    i have some home made ones for sale anyone.
  7. Is there a ressetlement course available for this
  8. I have just under five years to go in the Mob, and I am already planning my porn debut. I do not think that I am quite leading man material, but I reckon that I could make it as a stunt c0ck, even if I have to start off at the low end, corpses/livestock end of the industry.
  9. Start off on the low end? I though that was what had attracted you to the industry in the first place.
  10. There is nothing wrong with pursuing an acting career. I have heard that the competition is fierce, so good luck to you. In this particular field your wardrobe expenses are minimal. No reason you shouldn't be a rising star.
  11. Having said that his sailor uniform will be an advantage in certain types of vid.
  12. After reading this I do think someone should put up someproof. 2 separate pictures. One of Dave (good quality no request)and one (large and exellent quality requested) of John Holmes.
    Just for comparation and to find out the real truth in this of course.
  13. Squed you could pursue a career in porn. You could appear from a box to make the blokes wilt should they approach climax too soon.

    You look like a mad man made your head out of playdo then gave it the all blacks to kick about for the afternoon.
  14. Good idea, she would be like the cadmium rods in a nuclear reactor. :D
  15. Been there done that. But got sacked because I made them cum too quickly.
    Found myself a job in the nuclear science instead.