You Have Got To Be Sh*tin Me...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jul 5, 2006.

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  1. I just read this newsflash:

    Amanda Griffiths, a student at the University of Salford in Manchester, England is currently pursuing a doctoral degree in " Air Guitar ".. the world's only air guitar PhD...

    I hate to label this crapola and consign her ' academic achievement ' into the same bin as vital to society as poppy seeds and parsley.. but, given the tenor of the times she'll probably make a whackload of money and retire with a MBE..

    Can I get an advanced degree in ' music ' , too? I play a mean skinflute...

    further evidence of the collapse of civilization...
  2. Is that what I think it is? :oops: :?:
  3. I know a few girls who can play the Pink Oboe to at least an "Honours" Degree!

    But then again the local Bully /Thick Cnut got a City and Guilds in gardening.

    Oh how that paid off in the Young Offenders/Borstall/Armley School of Correction.

    just meant the fcukers could grow Gange to a higher quality.
  4. I've got BA Honours degree in something that i'm now embarressed to tell people. Degrees really are sh!te unless they're in real subjects which turn out people with skills valuable to society and are in demand. I tried explaining this to the chaps at the local AFCO who where instistent I apply for a commission - because I had a degree. Never mind the fact I spent three years ligging and passed with flying colours because the demands placed upon me and my peers at the time were about as tough as toilet paper under water. I'm not saying this to p!ss off the people who payed their taxes and indirectly supported me while I was there, just agreeing with what seems to be a general consensus regarding university education.

    I met an awful lot of people at uni who were treating as a three year holiday, and many had already had a 'Gap Year'. These people seriously p!ssed me off because many were being sustained by wealthy, middle class parents and were doing courses in subjects such as 'Sonic Art' and 'Installation Art'. Fine if you happen to be that one in ten billion person who sparks off the new renaissance with your revolutionary Sonic Art, but crap if you spend the rest of your life earning just below the threshold for compulsory repayment of the student loan and sponging of said rich parents.

    And most of them went on those friggin peace marches in London to protest against the invasion of Iraq, not becasue they believed in their cause but becasue of the traditional link betwen students and militant political protest, which I thought belittled the efforts of the coallition forces but hey, most of these cnuts probably couldn't spell coallition (I hope to God that's how you spell coallition). They should have been teargassed and water jetted.

    I loved uni, but hated being a student. Rant over.
  5. Go on, what's your degree in then?
  6. ... to be fair. I have a honours degree and a PhD from two quite famous and posh universities in very traditional and difficult subjects, and I'm as useful as tits on fish! It doesn't matter how long you spend at uni or what you study, sometimes even the most academic of people have trouble finding their arrse with both hands.

    Air guitar though. Blimey. Good skills on choosing a doss thesis title, somehow the mathematical modeling of receptor-mediated endocytosis and it's subsquent effects on the pharmacodynamics and pharmacokinetics of insurmountable antagonists seems a bit pish. Bollox.
  7. When will her thesis be published? will I be able to pick up a copy in HMV or Virgin?

    What PhD would the members of Arrse do?
    An advanced study of friction and heat distrabution while dry bumming your neighbours pet rabbit?
    The study of the Areodynamics of sperm and the effects on the human eye?
  8. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Air Drumming to Phil Collins " In the Air Tonight" (Can I have my certificate now?)
  9. I left school aged 15 thick as two short planks and no degree of any sort. But there is only one L in coalition.
  10. Hey, that reminds me of a joke.

    Q: What's the difference between parsley and pu$$y?

    A: Nobody eats parsley.