You gotta love those choggie kids ...

I've just returned from an exercise in Kenya, where the most entertaining part of it was abusing the local choggie kids ... not in a Gary Glitter kind of way i must add.

Firstly, I was amazed at the speed a small hungry African child can run, barefoot mind, along the side of your vehicle. Some I clocked at 28 kph! All in the vain hope of getting a sweet. The look of sheer disappointment when i just un-wrap the sweet and eat it in front of them ... or just speed up and drive off. A large washer on a piece of wire, dangled along the floor, also has the same effect.

Handing out Hi-Vis vests with 'Sex Offender' and 'Goat Bummer' written all over them in black marker was another favourite. Only to see said choggie a few days later proudly wearing the garment with 'Sex Offender' emblazened all over it. A white safety helmet with 'I have Aids' written on it was sometimes added to complete the outfit. The look on some white tourists faces as they drove past was priceless.

What's that choggie? What you begging for? Compo? I'll give you compo ... try these hexi blocks for size. Watching a group of filthy kids fighting over a hexi block was highly amusing. The see the biggest kid wade in and beat all the smaller urchins ... just to be rewarded with munching down a poisonous flammable heximine block.

My time in Kenya reminded me of the choggie kids in Kosovo. One bare chested scamp was hanging around the front gates of camp. He'd already had a couple of sweets off the lads on stag and one of them had written 'I love NATO' on his arm in biro. 'Oh, you like tattoos do you' my oppo and I thought. We beckoned the kid over and talked him into us drawing a tattoo on him with a perminant black marker. He agreed ...and off he skipped, to enjoy and frolick in the late afternoon sunshine ... with '5 Deutschmark for Anal' written on his forehead and 'Nazi Pig Fucker' on his back. Oh how we laughed.

No wonder foreigners hate us. Fuck 'em.
I remember my section commander saying that one heart-stopping moment he had in Kenya was throwing a thunderflash to the posse of kids following his 4-tonner. To his shock and surprise, the kids did not run away (not knowing WTF it was), but one picked it up and held it in his hand while beaming at the horrified soldiers on the back of the 4-tonner.

End of the story was that it was the only misfire of a thunderflash ever known. True? Who knows, but he wasn't the type to make up tear jerking stroies about African kids.

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