You couldnt... If you were...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by GhillieTheKid, Jun 30, 2009.

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  1. After p**sing my self after fully reading and digesting;


    It got me trying to think of any.

    Theres that one off dodgeball


    Any others anyone knows?
  2. You couldnt hit the G-Spot on a Ten pound pussy.
  3. You couldn't find a hole if it had hairs round it.
  4. You couldn't score in a brothel if you had a £50 note
  5. You couldnt blow your head off if you stuck the muzzle in your mouth(safety catch on)
  6. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    You could'nt hit a barn door with a blunderbuss.
  7. You couldn't hit a barn door if you were standing on the padlock

    Courtesy of Cpl "Catalogue Man" Grantham 1999
  8. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Slight tangent........

    ......."You need shooting with shit at close quarters"...
  9. you could'nt organise a piss up in a brewery
  10. Another play on words, but;

    'He'd fall in a bucket of tits and come up sucking his thumb'
  11. You couldn't hit a cows arse with a shovel
  12. You couldn't find your arse with both hands in your back pockets!
  13. You couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo
  14. ancienturion

    ancienturion LE Book Reviewer

    Destined to go through life pushing doors marked pull.

    Not that he's wet but you can shoot duck off him in the season.

    You couldn't find your way out of a paper bag.

    You couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.
  15. You couldn,t fight your way out of a wet paper sack