You Could Have Heard A Pin Drop

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by Fiasco, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. It was recently suggested that the UK forces might need to ally themselves to French forces. Ho hum, oh goody...!

    JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.
    Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"
    DeGaulle did not respond.



    You could have
    heard a pin drop




    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

    A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly:
    'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply
    emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day,
    they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'



    You could have
    heard a pin drop.





    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

    Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied,

    'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'



    You could have
    heard a pin drop.





    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN
    WITH THE ABOVE...

    Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

    "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

    Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

    "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

    The American said,

    'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

    "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

    The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained,

    ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."



    You could have
    heard a pin drop.
     
  2. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    very good
     
  3. so true!
     
  4. Typical if The not so gallant Frogs!
     
  5. I saw a post in similar vein on an American site yesterday: an heroic American recalling how he'd been mortally offended by Hitler's pronouncements... which is kind of curious: Germany declared war on the USA not the other way around. Prior to Japan's attack on Pearl Harbour, EVERY poll carried out by US newpapers showed a 90% disinclination to get involved - and to "do the right thing". 48 hours later... the Yanks had ALWAYS been against Nazism. (But seem to have gone to amazing lengths to keep it a secret) In 1936, 1938 and 1939, the Yanks were invited to participate in an Anti-Hitler alliance. They refused every time. NOW they sneer about Chamberlain (At least he turned UP at Munich. Remind me... what were American leaders doing at the time?)
    On D-Day minus one, the French resistance mounted a large number of diversionary attacks on German positions, all over France - with the aim of pinning-down German troops where they were. The casualties they sustained were substantial, the facilities they had to deal with them were minimal. Anyone want to guess whether the French took more casualties in the diversionary attacks (intended to preserve Brit, Yank and Canadian lives the following day) or the Americans on D-Day? Anyone want to guess how many FEWER US causalties would have been if they'd taken up the UK's offer of gear like that used by the 79th Armoured? Do Americans get extra Brownie points for getting killed because their generals would rather brag, than accept that they might need some help?
     
  6. excellent! especially the first and last ones.
     
  7. Im all for the odd bit of frog bashing but those ones are starting to get on my nerves. Old, over used and arrogant in the same way it belittles the french for being arrogant.
     
  8. ^^^you could have heard a pin drop
     
  9. w.t.f?

    ......................
     
  10. Come on, he obviously meant the BRITISH navy. Don't be so over-sensitive......
    :D

    :D

    :D
     
  11. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    He meant the US, Royal, Royal Canadian, Royal Australian and French navies. Unless it was after the RCN, which in 1945 was the world's third largest, was subsumed into green uniforms and so forth as the web-footed bit of Canadian Forces.
     
  12. The above is also a mixture of an actual event and embellishments, the same as the OPs. It's designed to antagonise and berate the subject and not to educate and inform. In a nutshell it B.S.
     
  13. I'm a numpty. A pathetic numpty. I've just noticed this is in the joke section!

    Woopsy! :eek:
     
  14. My mate was queing at customs to get in to the states armed with both his british and south african passports and was bemoaning the queue when a rather large septic lady infront of him turned and told him
    " I dont know if you know but we were hit by terrorist its essential" to which point he replied
    "Yes i know i from Britain i was with the Paras in ireland getting shot at by people supplied and sponsored by America so dont give me bullshit about terrorists"
     
  15. Excellent response!