You can happily shop here - Aldi

#1
You can happily shop here looking like a fucking tramp, claims Aldi.
After a Tesco store asked customers not to shop in their pyjamas or barefoot, supermarket chain Aldi has made it clear it is happy for their customers to continue looking like a bunch of inebriated vagrants.

The Tesco store in St Mellon in Cardiff has posted notices asking customers to “stop dressing like a fucking tramp all of the fucking time” alienating large numbers of tramp resembling local residents.

A Tesco spokesperson said, “Look, we’re not killjoys here, but we’d prefer it if you made just a slight effort when giving us all of your benefit money.”

“The one concession we ask for when dealing with the generally disgusting public, is that they make themselves look respectable. We know they’re not, but we’re happy with a shallow façade.”

“When that’s gone, it’s more than we can stomach, to be honest.”

However, Aldi has claimed it would welcome such shoppers with open arms, so long as they have a few pennies in their pockets.

“We’re not fussy. At all.” said a spokesperson.

“We’ve built a thriving business based on shoppers who look like they’ve stepped off the set of a Zombie movie, so we’ll take them if Tesco don’t want them.

“After a while, the stench of shit and piss tends to fade, and you can focus on all the money they’re giving you. From a small purse. Kept in their underpants.”

“In fact, most of our offers rely on you shopping with the urgency of someone who has recently soiled themselves.”

“The only people we don’t want in our store are people called Kerry Katona.”

Source;
http://newsarse.com/2010/01/29/you-can-happily-shop-here-looking-like-a-*******-tramp-claims-aldi/
 
#2
firthy said:
Aldi has made it clear it is happy for their customers to continue looking like a bunch of inebriated vagrants.
Well, lets face it, why should the customers differ from the staff? :D
 
#3
makes a change to dress down to go shopping
 
#4
Fuck Tescos. If I can't pop in straight from my bed because of their snobbery, I'll go elsewhere. By the way, isn't it normal for people to sleep naked any more..cissies.
 
#7
I thought the reason for banning PJs would be that they have open flies which can gape. Very off-putting, especially at the meat counter.
 
#9
Best quote was from one Slummy Mummy who complained, "Do Tesco have any idea how hard it is, being a single Mum of three kids?"

Well, maybe you should have kept your axe-wound closed you fcuking skank. :twisted:
 
#10
Werewolf said:
Best quote was from one Slummy Mummy who complained, "Do Tesco have any idea how hard it is, being a single Mum of three kids?"

Well, maybe you should have kept your axe-wound closed you fcuking skank. :twisted:
What about the indignant woman who was turned away and complained that she didn't have time to dress up... then she went on to say that she'd especially put on her best PJs and they were nice ones with some pink crap or other on them. :? Fucking silly tart.
 
#13
The picture accompanying the original story was great though, it had some skank on about going in to get her fags, skag and buckfast (or whatever) and how it would disadvantage her. She would simply spend her welfare money elsewhere. Grotty bint.
 
#18
jagman said:
CQMS said:
firthy said:
If they came down in full bedroom gear ie suspenders, neglegee etc I would be quite happy to see them.
What, all 25 stone?
Of course, or are we getting fussy these days? :lol:
Reminds me of a comment I once heard, something to the effect, slap her arrse and ride in on the ripples. :puker:
 
#19
Drlligaf said:
jagman said:
CQMS said:
firthy said:
If they came down in full bedroom gear ie suspenders, neglegee etc I would be quite happy to see them.
What, all 25 stone?
Of course, or are we getting fussy these days? :lol:
Reminds me of a comment I once heard, something to the effect, slap her arrse and ride in on the ripples. :puker:
"Your wife's so fat you have to slap her thighs and surf the waves in. Or roll her in flour and aim for the white patch."

- Bruce Willis in The Last Boyscout. 8)
 
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