You are in the Army Now! - sadly misunderstood

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by sumkunt, Jul 15, 2007.

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  1. It is clear that my attempt to comment in an unusual and (I had hoped) entertaining way on current military and political affairs through a mythical book entitled 'You are in the ASrmy Now' has been completely misunderstood here.

    On the contrary they have not. Like the other moderator said in the other thread you started on your book in this forum ask the CO's before plugging your creation and you may even get to continue to plug yourself. mk

    I wrote it some time ago - for personal cathartic reasons. I came across it on my computer and re-read it, found it amusing and thought others would.

    I posted it up first on RumRation, because as an ex-Bootneck I knew the humour would be recognised and well received.

    I also knew that it would go be HEF to any stray Matelots on the The Corps Forum.

    I WAS surprised that it went HEF on a forum destined to be read by Uk Land Forces.

    Note to Matelots: HEF means High Elevation Fire and is a slang term meaning something has gone over somebody's head.

    I mean this comment in no way to be disrespectful. The humour and parody was aimed at, and could only be enjoyed by, people with experience of ground operations conducted by UK Land Forces.

    A note to Jarhead:

    First, for a take on Friendly Fire, please put 'Matty Hull' into a Search Engine of your choice.

    Then put 'Friendly Fire' in. Compare the percentage of US related Friendly Fire topics that are listed compared to any other nation's armed forces.

    I am not saying Friendly Fire is an ill that is exclusive to US Forces. It has happened since the advent of war and will always happen. The problem is that it is a plague that is particularly virulent in US Forces, especially in regards to incidents in which US Forces kill their allies after displaying less than professional levels of Fire Discipline or Target Recognition.

    If the incidents were proportionately similar, for instance UK, Dutch or Candian forces vitteling up GI's then the 'fog of war' defence would be appropriate. However it is almost exclusively a US problem which has its roots in a lack of fire discipline.

    Secondly, the imaginary unit was a US Army formation, not Marines. While US Marines have an eviable level of logistical support compared to Royal Marines, they generally go 'lite' compared to other branches of the US Armed Forces.

    I would point you for edification towards an excellent book called "Fiasco - the The American Military Adventure in Iraq" by Thomas E. Ricks written in 2005 and published in the summer of 2006 - about 2 years after I wote my muse:

    Chapter 9. 'How to Create an Insurgency (II) p.200 (I quote with all due recognition to the author):

    "During this crucial period (Summer 2003), the US military seemed more concerned about its own well-being than about Iraqis.........An extrordinary part of the US military effort was devoted to providing for itself, with a huge push to build showers, mess halls, and coffee bars, and to install ameneties such as satelite television and internet cafes."

    As for my muse, had the humour been generally well received, I would have invested some more time and effort in producing more, using the mythical book as a vehicle to deliver incisive comment on current military/political affairs.

    After the generally good reception on RumRation, I posted it here for Army consumption on the the aptly named ARRSE.

    It was NOT well received.

    Firstly it was pulled because you thought it was a real book which I was plugging to sell.

    I then reposted it with the explanation that it was NOT a real book, but it was a humorous parody.

    The humour is intended to work on many levels, from slapstick to high-brow.

    It was generally attacked, the humour was not understood, I was accused of being a Civvy (spelt Civi???) and I took a particularly savage mauling from 'goodkurtz' who I can only assume was an ex-Blanket-Stacker because he alone noticed that I mispelled Ordnance with is homophonic counterpart Ordinance - meaning a Christian religious rite.

    The attack itself goodkurtz was like being savaged by a dead sheep.

    The poster goodkurtz should be congratulated on his powers of observation, although he is clearly unfamiliar with the literary device known as double-entendre: Double Meaning

    The play of words of the image of a US aircraft un-leashing Fire Power/Christian Rite upon the Islamic Middle East was intended.

    This actually escaped goodkurtz himself who expressed himself in language that shocked even me as an ex-Bootneck!! (For those who are humuristcally challenged, the last comment comes under 'Sarcasm'.)

    Finally, the moderator PartTimePongo pulled the piece and put in a section called The ARRSE Hole - which is where things get sent you do not like.

    As such, it could not serve its purpose as a delivery vehicle for incisive comment on current military affairs and topics.

    In all probability, I shall now thin-out, my input neither needed nor welcome.

    Although I will never forget my years of service as a Royal Marine - and not a day goes by that I do not use at least one thing that I learned in the Corps - a Bootneck is something that I was, it is not something that I am.

    I like to think I have retained what is good and discarded the negative aspects of life in a 'Blue Suit'.

    Yours Aye,

  2. i have to admit that I looked at both this, and your previous posts (aka - the book !) and couldn't be arrsed reading it. First impressions were of lots of words that didn't make immediate sense.

    I wasn't pissed.

    Therefore I have a very short concentration span.
  3. I got bored. No offence! Can't see why it was deleted it though.
  4. your little essay put a smile on my face
  5. Cant see why its in Current Affairs either maybe P_T_P had a point :?

    Why not just put it straight into the NAAFI
  6. It was put in the Naafi in it's first guise. Which is where it is going now.
  7. can someone read it to me my eyes are tired :(
  8. Lets be honest , it was just dull Royal