Yet more jubilee boondoggle

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Fireplace, May 29, 2012.

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  1. Putney residents first to get jubillee paving stone engraved (From This Is Local London)

    £150 to engrave a paving stone then £230 to install it? Bullshit! Then, in the not too distant future some council pratt - unthinking, to be sure - will order the street covered in asphalt because Heqalth & Safety will say paving stones are unsafe just as they have done with cobblestones.

    All this nonsense could be avoided if there were such a thing as psychiatric therapy in a drum poured into the public's drinking water.
  2. Zyklon B?
  3. The Queen's favourite under-arm deodorant and part of her morning regimen, 'Because You're Worth It!'
  4. You think you can just lift a paving slab and stick another one in it's place?

    You need written permission to do it for a start, and an appropriate City and Guilds qualification (to work on public highways), public liability insurance (to 5 million squids least) then safety fencing and signage to redirect pedestrians around the obstacle, then after you've finished a council inspector will have to check that it's been done correctly, levelled up to match the surrounding flags with no raised edges, no wobbling. You'll probably also require a safety man as you're working by a main road. That's two wages. And even if the job takes just an hour or so, you'll be charging a minimum of a half day rate.
    Gone are the days when a couple of blokes turned up, swapped a flag with a couple of whacks with a big rubber mallet and the people walk around them as they do the job with cheeky smiles, a-whistling and with caps at jaunty angles. Oh no, those days are long gone.
    Remember, where there's blame, there's a claim. Who's up for some risk assessments?
  5. That's fucking pathetic. But it's also today's Formerly Great Britain.

    I'm still stuck with happy memories of the 1960s, of British Rail and draft from the wood at 1/11 a pint. I want my old barracks room for starters. (And stop calling them dorms!)
  6. also mars bars of a proper size, working phone boxes, play for today...
  7. Wagonwheels man ...don't forget wagonwheels, but to be honest I never really liked them, found them as dry as a witches tit.
  8. Heard a steam train today... Carlizzle
  9. 1952 till 1963! The best years of the last two centuries!

    End of ration coupons, proper lemonade in money back bottles, frozen milk in the school yard, girls who could play "hard to get" with (unaware) sophistication, Woolworths, indoor toilets, washing machines, dentists who could pull a wisdom tooth with elan (and with maximum discomfort to the patient), corporal punishment, double seats in the back row of the cinema, juke boxes full of Buddy Holly and Jim Reeves "records", maiden aunts who scolded about the youngsters (although only themselves in their forties), and of course proper sized Wagon Wheels.

    And when you only got a clip on the ear if caught "progging" apples from a neighbouring orchard.

    And to be serious, vaccines for polio, TB, and other horrors; antibiotics and improved anaesthetics. We, and Her Majesty, are of the lucky generation.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Jubilee Concert was awful plastic tat ( apart fromMadness of course). Cheesey parade of blandness and the cringing bumbling through second verse of national anthem topped the artless spectacle. Poor Betty dragged on stage looked lost bless her "who are these people?"
  11. Bernard Cribbens - Hole in the Ground (Early '60s)

    There I was, a-digging this hole
    A hole in the ground, so big and sort of round it was
    There was I, digging it deep
    It was flat at at the bottom and the sides were steep
    When along, comes this bloke in a bowler which he lifted and scratched his head
    Well we looked down the hole, poor demented soul and he said

    Do you mind if I make a suggestion?

    Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere
    Your digging it round and it ought to be square
    The shape of it's wrong, it's much much too long
    And you can't put hole where a hole don't belong

    I ask, what a liberty eh
    Nearly bashed him right in the bowler

    Well there was I, stood in me hole
    Shoveling earth for all I was worth
    There was him, standing up there
    So grand and official with his nose in the air
    So I gave him a look sort of sideways and I leaned on my shovel and sighed

    Well I lit me a fag and having took a drag I replied

    I just couldn't bear, to dig it elsewhere
    I'm digging it round cos I don't want it square
    And if you disagree it doesn't bother me
    That's the place where the holes gonna be

    Well there we were, discussing this hole
    A hole in the ground so big and sort of round it was
    Well it's not there now, the ground's all flat
    And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

    And that's that!
  12. Not quite,
    You'll need correct signage to current chapter 8, Permission via streetworks register to work and have a copy of the LA reference no for carrying it out. As it would be classed as an opening in the highway you'd need PU prints, Risk assesment, PPE, Streetworks ticket correct for carrying out modular paving re-instatements, Maybe a 2way set of traffic lights due to pedestrain walkways around the site which the LA will charge for. Also if it's in the Olympic routes then the IOC have baaned street works within them until the games are over. Then if the works are shite the council will issue a defect notice at around £120 per pop plus a re-inspection charge every 17 days.

    I really need to get out more.
  13. The road in question has already honoured "Mr Benn" (Childrens TV character not the leftie politician) with a paving stone. I shall investigate this eve as I live dangerously close to this paving slab street of fame.

    Who should get a paving stone next..........
  14. THAT brings back memories. I used to have that and My Old Man's a Dustman on a 45s.