The funny thing about that is victims assume they're being abducted and probed by extraterrestrials. In fact, they're being probed by Labour Party members from the future. That's why they have giant foreheads and speak a language resembling a fake northern accent.
I am half expecting Wrong Daily to adopt a Liam Gallagher / Ian Brown style walk and a proper thick Manc accent.
Me and our Kid are going to fight auster- ITY co co ca choo if you vote Layyyyyy bearrrrr