Yates of the Yard press conference

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by BounceBanana, Jul 19, 2011.

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  1. "Mr Yates will this mean the shooting of an unarmed Brazilian inquiry will be re-examined"

    Yates: "No I am certain my integrity is intact. I can say that the Brazilian was thought to have worked as a bailiff with an associate we tried to fit up with Demanding money with de Menezes"
  2. "Mr Yates have you any thoughts on the sudden death of the whistleblowing journalist"

    Yates; "Well early focus is on whether he had just refused to go for a walk in the woods. But intelligence has raised the possibility he was beaten to death with a fizzy drinks bottle by a deadly duo of Belgian and French hitmen not unknown to the mass media market"

    "Mr Yates that is a fascinating early insight into the case and testament surely to your consummate detective skills. Could you expand on this information. "

    Yates: "Yes we think the crime had the flavour of Van Damme de Leon and Murdoch "
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  3. "Mr Yates your old school was done for price fixing and had to repay millions of pounds. Would you say the school had an undue influence on your life ?"

    Yates: "No not at all, the repaid fees are part of the package I am assembling as cash for my peerage"
  4. Is there some sort of a modern form of dyslexia going on here? You know, how a sufferer gets confused and cannot read internet site forum titles?
  5. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    I'm sure that once the OP has access to a window, laboon, and ice-cream that they'll feel a lot more secure.

    Either that, or those nice men in the white coats will ensure that they step away from the keyboard.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. "Mr Yates do you think the Met has come on apace since addressing institutionalized racism"

    Yates "Well apace only meant we had to be careful taperecording interviews and institutionalized racism was the price we had to pay Jack Straw for letting us get away with corruption at the time. Mike Fuller founded the black police officers assn which was handy as when they were at meetings we could slag them off without them hearing and suing for compo"
  7. Don't worry, it's just Knocknee (aka Roger Irrelevant). You'll get used to his ramblings after a while.


    Very soon the name Fuller will appear along with a lot of tosh about the office of Constable, parishes, and other such mutterings.
  8. "Mr Yates do you remember that you took an oath of office ?"

    Yates "I deny it I have never taken nuffink in my life"
  9. "Mr Yates is it true you are off to join the Canadian Police to appear in a TV series"

    Yates: "Well I have been negotiating with Stephen Seagull"
  10. Almost there...........
  11. "I don't know anything gov" is about all your going to get from this circus act today.

    I think that the British tax payer should get a refund.