Xmas Jokes

#1
I call my new girlfriend "The Turkey".She might be a big, funny looking bird but fuck me she likes a good stuffing and knows how to gobble.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer
#3
aww shoot Cernunnos....I was looking for a particularly filthy joke to tell that nice lady in Accounts...saw yr moniker and thought

' Aha - Cernnunnos - who rubs shoulders amongst other things with all those laugh-a-minute HausFraus in that big jacuzzi in downtown Osnatraz - he will SURELY have a good rib-tickler up his sleeve' ?

Alas no......


Doctor Nick's Handy Glossary for decoding Personal Advertisements... [ Aber...was Ist In Deutsch ?]

40-ish...........................49
Adventurous.................Slept with all your friends
Athletic.........................No tits
Average looking............Has a face like an arse
Beautiful........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...........Does a lot of pills
Educated.......................Shagged for GB at Uni
Emotionally Secure........On medication
Feminist.........................Fat
Free spirited......................Junkie
Friendship first...............Former slut
Fun...............................Annoying
Gentle...........................Dull
Good Listener...............Autistic
New-Age......................Body hair problems
Old-fashioned................Missionary position only
Open-minded.................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate......................Sloppy drunk
Poet...............................Depressive
Professional............... ... 100 carat Ball breaker
Romantic.......................Frigid
Social............................Crotch like a clown's pocket
Voluptuous....................Very Fat
Large lady.....................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.............Stalker
Widow...........................Murderer
 
#5
Walt zing Mathilda?
 
#7
Bring back hanging!
 

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