Xmas Jokes

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by SWJ.303, Dec 14, 2011.

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  1. I call my new girlfriend "The Turkey".She might be a big, funny looking bird but fuck me she likes a good stuffing and knows how to gobble.
     
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  2. Have you news of the big push in Flanders?
     
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  3. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    aww shoot Cernunnos....I was looking for a particularly filthy joke to tell that nice lady in Accounts...saw yr moniker and thought

    ' Aha - Cernnunnos - who rubs shoulders amongst other things with all those laugh-a-minute HausFraus in that big jacuzzi in downtown Osnatraz - he will SURELY have a good rib-tickler up his sleeve' ?

    Alas no......


    Doctor Nick's Handy Glossary for decoding Personal Advertisements... [ Aber...was Ist In Deutsch ?]

    40-ish...........................49
    Adventurous.................Slept with all your friends
    Athletic.........................No tits
    Average looking............Has a face like an arse
    Beautiful........................Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile...........Does a lot of pills
    Educated.......................Shagged for GB at Uni
    Emotionally Secure........On medication
    Feminist.........................Fat
    Free spirited......................Junkie
    Friendship first...............Former slut
    Fun...............................Annoying
    Gentle...........................Dull
    Good Listener...............Autistic
    New-Age......................Body hair problems
    Old-fashioned................Missionary position only
    Open-minded.................Desperate
    Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate......................Sloppy drunk
    Poet...............................Depressive
    Professional............... ... 100 carat Ball breaker
    Romantic.......................Frigid
    Social............................Crotch like a clown's pocket
    Voluptuous....................Very Fat
    Large lady.....................Hugely Fat
    Wants Soulmate.............Stalker
    Widow...........................Murderer
     
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  4. Walt zing Mathilda?
     
  5. Oh! heh, cause it's old... I get it :)
     
  6. Bring back hanging!
     
  7. What the fuck does father christmas keep laughing at????