WWFE (Worst War Film Ever)

Behind Enemy Lines has got to be a strong contender... do they really think that anyone in this day and age believes any of that stuff.... tap dancing through mine fields whilst the baddies struggle to point their rifles in the right direction..... right of course... thank you good night.

Oh and Escape to Victory of course


Gladiator.  Everyone knows you couldn't get that kind of range out of a ballista in the 1st century BC.  It only became possible in A.D. 79 after the mid-life upgrade ;)
Against the run of play, I know, but I loathe Platoon.
Also on the "least loved" list are Tumbledown, The Thin Red Line, Pearl Harbour and that U-whaterthefeckin'numberwas thing.

well seeing as it was brought up in the best films i'm gonna say "star wars" and that bloody "starship trooper"(although the women make it bearable)

i cant stand those sci-fi things
Black Hawk Down. Trust me. I saw it in the States at Christmas.
Reality - Yanks panic, get shot down, panic some more, decide everyone with black skin is a terrorist, send in Apaches to fire rockets into demonstration slaughtering 90 unarmed men, women and children
Film - Yanks get shot down thanks to bad luck, fight bravely against overwheling odds, against scores of state0of-the-art armed an well trained enemy troops, emerging victorious in the nick of time.
Moral - This is why they're so fecking dangerous on ops.
Ok some war films are bad but we don't exactly cover ourselves in glory.  I would like to bring to everyones attention the training film corncerning the use of ear defence inside an armoured vehicle.  You must remember, the one with the bloke with dodgy hearing in the pub with his girlfriend.  Not since Pinnocchio has there been such wooden acting.  I just hope the guy was a better soldier than actor.  
Ref: CO's last.

We should also be ashamed of the fire safety one with the chap in brown Y -fronts smoking in bed.  Was it designed to warn us about the highly flammable matresses or the dangers of poor underwear selection.  
It has to be Enemy at the gate. Only the yanks can turn a true and gutsy story about snipers into a soppy good for nothing love story. Running a close second is Courage under fire, but at least that has the redeaming fact that it has Meg Ryan in it.
In fact another close runner up is "Rules of Engagement". Some how the yanks never fail to amaze me with all this dramatics covering up their incompetence.


WWFE has to be Apocalypse Now, should have been called Alloadofshite Now.  "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning, it's the smell of Victory"  Some body should have showed it to the Vietcong!!


Thin Red Line.

The fighting bits are good, but the film is about a month long.  We want japs getting it - not some punter staring into the distance with a voice over saying "Where does all this evil come from....."

I used to use one bit in a presentation, but I couldn't even stand the rest of the film on fast forward.

"Suck on a pineapple, Tojo!" is what we want.
What about John Rambo helping all the Afgans defeat the nasty Russians in RAMBO III.

Again 1 american save the world. Cant wait to see the new WAR ON TERROR film in which 1 USNavy submarine defeats the Taliban and save the world.
You guys just don't get out enough.

There is only one real contender for WWFE, the well researched and logical Independence day.

The winning concept is that bill gates has already exploited the emerging markets of the far-flung galaxies, and the aliens are using a microsoft operating system and 3.5" floppies in their spaceships.

True winner.


Independance day does suck big time when an American pilot can knock out a hard as f*** alien and have a line in it stating he wants to kick ET's butt... ET is great. But the winner has to be unit fire fighting drills with the fire cart zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


What about Spartacus? Does that qualify as a war film? Anyway I'm Spartacus! :-*


Whilst I'm in this thread, does anyone remember the  SF GPMG film ' The Long and the Short of It.' It existed briefly in the mid-nineties until they showed it to the first female. It was horrendously sexist i.e a short fat girl was used to illustrate one type of beaten zone (inf spotters help me out with the terminology) and a long skinny one for the other type of beaten zone. Even I considered it offensive!
The concept of worst film needs to be a sum of bad plot, bad acting, bad special effects and bad portrayal of facts if historical.  The winner actually on all counts and most impressively with an enourmous budget is.......
Pearl Harbour!
Utter utter utter shite!
The acting is terrible, the plot is completely predictable, there is outrageous revisionism and  every cliche in the book is explored.As for the special effects when the Arizona blows up it looks like it had a years supply of cheap Taiwanese fireworks.
Tora Tora Tora is 20(?) years earlier and 20 times better.
The only bit i enjoyed  was when the  pilot told his girlfriend he had volunteered for UK when in fact he had been posted. In real life he would have volunteered and told her he had been posted.

Complete Rubbish

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