Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to join our community
Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site, connect with other members through your own private inbox and will receive smaller adverts!

"WTF? I never would have expected to hear that" and other stories that have shocked you.

In one assembly at senior school, all the boys were told to wait behind after it had finished. The deputy head 'Donkey' (Mr. Doncaster, not his build), announced that some boy had 'done his business' in the gym showers. He appealed to the perpetrator to come forward and explain himself, like that was going to happen.
This was years before 'Life of Brian', but the sniggering, snorting and in the end open guffawing, to his attempts could have been the background to the Biggus Dickus scene.
According to the PE teacher, it was a gargantuan effort.
There was also the practice of 'top decking'. This is where you remove the cistern lid and use it as a toilet for comic effect.

The flush is always brown as the trout breaks down.

Another largely undetectable crime.
 
The terminology is a bit mixed up.

Indeed “crimping off a length” can mean to have a shit. But more commonly “crimping” or to “crimp” means to have a quick nap e.g:

“Where’s Smudge?”

“Oh he had a heavy night last night and is crimped in the mess.”*

The term for shitting in your pit is to “grand slam.”

*Worth pointing out that crimping in the mess usually results in waking up with a penis drawn on your head in black sharpie.
Disagree Ravers - 50/50 for dumping or sleeping. Like 'goffa/goffer' = one word, very different meanings.
 
No, it's a safe place where blokes can talk shyt through over a brew, without being branded with a label or judged and ridiculed by witless fecktards, who obviously think that mens mental health is something that shouldn't be talked about
Men are often guilty of bottling it up, or worse, doing the macho BS act.
So what this andy club is doing is potentially very good.
HOWEVER, one would also be very wary, lest the very vulnerable are exploited.
 
No, it's a safe place where blokes can talk shyt through over a brew, without being branded with a label or judged and ridiculed by witless fecktards, who obviously think that mens mental health is something that shouldn't be talked about
Indeed.


But you can still end up with another gentleman in your throat.
 
Had a guy I was in a couple of units do the same, he went on to kill a student at new year before a man hunt and doing himself in.

Changed his car alot I thought he was just like any other guy in their early 20's into chanigng motors all the time, Turns out he was chaning them to cover his tracks only afterwards that pinged why he had been doing it . Shame I never sussed it earlier maybe the girl would still be alive.

That sounds very much like Lance Corporal David Atkinson, stationed at Waterbeach who murdered Sally Geeson in 2004 and then did the decent thing by throwing himself off a multi-story car park. He was known to change his vehicle regularly ISTR.

 
That sounds very much like Lance Corporal David Atkinson, stationed at Waterbeach who murdered Sally Geeson in 2004 and then did the decent thing by throwing himself off a multi-story car park. He was known to change his vehicle regularly ISTR.

The link said that he was convicted of holding a polish student prisoner and sentenced to MCTC for 8 months.
Well done the British Army for allowing him to soldier on.
 
That sounds very much like Lance Corporal David Atkinson, stationed at Waterbeach who murdered Sally Geeson in 2004 and then did the decent thing by throwing himself off a multi-story car park. He was known to change his vehicle regularly ISTR.

Waterbeach . . . . Cambridge . . . . rapes . . . . .

In the early/mid- 70s there was a string of rapes carried out by Peter Cook, "The Cambridge Rapist."

Anyway, during a police traffic stop and search connected with the search for Cook, a sergeant from 39 (Airfields) who had nothing to do with the rapes, was nevertheless found to have a set of fake number plates in his car boot. This led to his eventual conviction for a string of armed robberies of sub-post offices.
I cant't recall the blokes name these fifty years on, but ISTR he was the Orderly Room Sergeant, and it shocked me at the time.

Cook, incidentally, spent 30 years behind bars and died in prison.
 
No the bloke i knew was Storm, he was the owner and manager of Hipgnosis. I cannot recall meeting Aubrey.
Thread drift...
Storm Thorgerson, along with Syd Barret and Roger Waters went to the same school as me, several years before I did.
They were never mentioned, and no blue plaque, but are listed as alumni on Wikipedia. (I'm not...)
1033
 
Not sure what made me think of this, but I was minding my own business one afternoon in a nearby city when I noticed an old lady with a Zimmer frame crossing the road. She paused as she stopped for breath. For some reason she asked if she knew me, and seemed to think that I had previously lived there - nope. She than said she had been a 'working girl'. She went on her way, possibly as I expressed no interest in 'business'.

Just what the f***?
 
Not sure what made me think of this, but I was minding my own business one afternoon in a nearby city when I noticed an old lady with a Zimmer frame crossing the road. She paused as she stopped for breath. For some reason she asked if she knew me, and seemed to think that I had previously lived there - nope. She than said she had been a 'working girl'. She went on her way, possibly as I expressed no interest in 'business'.

Just what the f***?

Wayne Rooney walt
 
Top