WTF do I do now?

#1
Right.

Some of you might (or might not) know that I do scribble the odd story (or twenty) and most of them can be found in HERE. I know some don't like my style (or the lack of) but there are many who seem to. I too got the publishing bug, not for the money, not for the glory and certainly not to ever appear on the Richard and Judy Show. I'd just like to hopefully sell a few copies with all proceeds going to Service Charities.

I threw together two of the longer stories, threw in a few newsletters and called it Boathouse Tales (stories the SAS were too scared to tell). It was thoroughly edited (ish) and all the swearing was changed back to normal. I didn't realise you could fit so many fcuks into one story or in this case two stories. I've already tried Woodfield Publishing and didn't even get a reply though that's not as bad as it sounds, as their comms are apparently crap. I then on good advice, tried Monday Books and after a very (very) long wait, received this:

Dear A****

Firstly, my apologies for not coming back to you before now.

Secondly, I'm sorry to say that 'Boathouse Tales' is probably not going to be a book for us. This is not because it's not funny (in my opinion it is) but because pastiche titles are notoriously hard to sell, and in the current climate, when everything is hard to sell, it would be eccentric of us to take it on.

This is a real shame, as the book made me laugh and I could see it working. I think it may be that a bigger publisher, more able to take risks, might publish it and do well with it - I'd urge you to send it elsewhere and not give up.

I'm really sorry to be the bearer of bad news - I've been on the wrong end of rejection letters myself, and I know how it feels. Best of luck with the project elsewhere!

Best regards

Dan Collins
Publisher
www.mondaybooks.com
www.mondaybooks.blogspot.com
So has anybody any ideas? I'm awaiting incoming on that and before anybody says it, suicide is not an option. So WTF do I do now?
 
#3
Try your hand at erotic fiction . There's plenty of chatrooms where you can cyber . Believe me that inspires the creative side of a human being 8)
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#4
Cut off your left ear. Go and live on a Tahitian type island. Drink yourself to death on absinthe.

You won't get rich but you will be famous as feck after you are dead :D
 
#6
Have you thought about approaching an agent? I work in publishing at the moment (not in a position to help I'm afraid) and as you can imagine, the volume of submissions is massive; so massive, in fact, that many publishers will only deal with authors who have representation.

An agent who takes an interest would be able to give you constructive criticism, but perhaps more importantly would pimp your work to their contact network and see if they could get your stuff out.

Oh, one thing: I'm sure you're no fool, but while a reputable agent will make money when you do, he/she will never ask for money simply to represent your work. If you're asked for money, you're dealing with a scam artist.
 
#7
mistersoft said:
Right.

Some of you might (or might not) know that I do scribble the odd story (or twenty) and most of them can be found in HERE. I know some don't like my style (or the lack of) but there are many who seem to. I too got the publishing bug, not for the money, not for the glory and certainly not to ever appear on the Richard and Judy Show. I'd just like to hopefully sell a few copies with all proceeds going to Service Charities.

I threw together two of the longer stories, threw in a few newsletters and called it Boathouse Tales (stories the SAS were too scared to tell). It was thoroughly edited (ish) and all the swearing was changed back to normal. I didn't realise you could fit so many fcuks into one story or in this case two stories. I've already tried Woodfield Publishing and didn't even get a reply though that's not as bad as it sounds, as their comms are apparently crap. I then on good advice, tried Monday Books and after a very (very) long wait, received this:

Dear A****

Firstly, my apologies for not coming back to you before now.

Secondly, I'm sorry to say that 'Boathouse Tales' is probably not going to be a book for us. This is not because it's not funny (in my opinion it is) but because pastiche titles are notoriously hard to sell, and in the current climate, when everything is hard to sell, it would be eccentric of us to take it on.

This is a real shame, as the book made me laugh and I could see it working. I think it may be that a bigger publisher, more able to take risks, might publish it and do well with it - I'd urge you to send it elsewhere and not give up.

I'm really sorry to be the bearer of bad news - I've been on the wrong end of rejection letters myself, and I know how it feels. Best of luck with the project elsewhere!

Best regards

Dan Collins
Publisher
www.mondaybooks.com
www.mondaybooks.blogspot.com
So has anybody any ideas? I'm awaiting incoming on that and before anybody says it, suicide is not an option. So WTF do I do now?
Mr Collins is a very caring person.

Anyone else would have told you the truth in layman's terms eg. you waffle some utter pish.
 
#8
Krek_Brizzle said:
Have you thought about approaching an agent? I work in publishing at the moment (not in a position to help I'm afraid) and as you can imagine, the volume of submissions is massive; so massive, in fact, that many publishers will only deal with authors who have representation.
Aw agents . I tried to get one when I wanted to carve out a career as a screenwriter . They're only interested in published autors which leads to a massive Catch 22 situation :(
 
#9
If you haven't already, then get hold of a copy of The Writers Handbook (ISBN 0333908120)....and do as the man says....don't give up :)

Most publishers won't even respond, so to have one that does, gives a decent explanation of their position and encourages you not to give up is worth taking notice of.

Just looking along my bookshelves and the following seem to have a military bent...Pimlico; Hodder and Stoughton; Macmillan; Pen and Sword; Harper and Collins; Picador; Pan; Bantam.....they are all of a decent size and might be worth approaching. You never know...oh, and don't send to one and wait. Send a sample of your writing to all of them at once.

Keep trying...:)
 
#10
Thanks (almost) everybody so far.

I have already splashed out on the Writer's Handbook though at first, it seemed to pose more quesions than it answered.

Thanks again.
 
#13
mistersoft said:
Thanks (almost) everybody so far.

I have already splashed out on the Writer's Handbook though at first, it seem to pose more quesions than it answered.

Thanks again.
The handbook is invaluable, my hint would be to ring the contact from the book and try to make some sort of verbal agreement that at least the person will be happy to accept your sample chapters and in what format. Paper will require double spacing between lines for example as would an email document format. My advice would be don't bother with Pen & Sword mate as Armoured Farmer was congratulated with a lovely letter but, they find humour to be way out of their genre concentrating much more on serious biographies etc, your stuff would probably be waaaaay too funny for their more conservative tastes. SPREAD YOUR NET WIDE....YOU WILL GET PUBLISHED!!!!!!! As already said....loads of publishers/agents at once.....hopefully you'll be deciding who to go with when they fight over publishing you!!!

Just send four sample chapters from different areas of the book along with a decent synopsis to cover them and see what you get. In the end I paid £500 towards my publishing costs at woodfield but, didn't take into account that I'd basically be responsible for my own marketing for which, I have no time!!! When my second book is ready I intend to go with an agent if possible having learnt so many valuable lessons from book 1!!!!! But, glad to say I've not had anything but praise from those that have bought/read the book. Apart from a guy from Australia who was asked to stop reading it on a tram as his laughter was too loud for other passengers who'd complained?!?!?!?!?!
 
#14
Thanks A3b, it was of course on your advice I bought the Writer's Handbook but then Monday Books came along. They definitely looked promising and it got (perhaps prematurely) put back on the shelf.

I think I know what I'll be reading for the next few days. :wink: Glad your book is doing so well, I must get myself a copy.
 
#16
drain_sniffer said:
mistersoft said:
pastiche titles ?
I bet Im not the only one who wonders WTF that means :?
A dramatic, literary, or musical piece openly imitating the previous works of other artists, often with satirical intent.

Or piss take.
 
#17
Mistersoft,

My wife is a published author (Childrens stories and only in Dutch, so I won't be able to give you any adresses), but I can tell you this:

You got a reply from an editor! And a positive one at that. This means you're publishable. So keep writing to publishers and keep haggling. You could try to compile different compilations from your collection of stories and try and sell these. Spread your options.

Good luck!

Kaye.
 

Andy_S

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
If I were you, I'd ditch the funny bits and re-submit as a straight SAS bio under an appropriate pseudoymn ("James Shortt," for eg). You'll be beating the publishers off with a shitty stick.

I'll invoice you for a percentage (consulting fee) once you've banked your first million.
 

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