WTF do I do now?

Discussion in 'The Book Club' started by mistersoft, Jul 29, 2009.

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  1. Right.

    Some of you might (or might not) know that I do scribble the odd story (or twenty) and most of them can be found in HERE. I know some don't like my style (or the lack of) but there are many who seem to. I too got the publishing bug, not for the money, not for the glory and certainly not to ever appear on the Richard and Judy Show. I'd just like to hopefully sell a few copies with all proceeds going to Service Charities.

    I threw together two of the longer stories, threw in a few newsletters and called it Boathouse Tales (stories the SAS were too scared to tell). It was thoroughly edited (ish) and all the swearing was changed back to normal. I didn't realise you could fit so many fcuks into one story or in this case two stories. I've already tried Woodfield Publishing and didn't even get a reply though that's not as bad as it sounds, as their comms are apparently crap. I then on good advice, tried Monday Books and after a very (very) long wait, received this:

    So has anybody any ideas? I'm awaiting incoming on that and before anybody says it, suicide is not an option. So WTF do I do now?
  2. Write to a few magazines and see if the will serialize your tales.
  3. Try your hand at erotic fiction . There's plenty of chatrooms where you can cyber . Believe me that inspires the creative side of a human being 8)
  4. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Cut off your left ear. Go and live on a Tahitian type island. Drink yourself to death on absinthe.

    You won't get rich but you will be famous as feck after you are dead :D

    The above used to be the publisher for Spike Milligan. I imagine they are more positive about publishing pastiche. They do alternative history stories and the sort of b0llocks you like to write about. :D
  6. Have you thought about approaching an agent? I work in publishing at the moment (not in a position to help I'm afraid) and as you can imagine, the volume of submissions is massive; so massive, in fact, that many publishers will only deal with authors who have representation.

    An agent who takes an interest would be able to give you constructive criticism, but perhaps more importantly would pimp your work to their contact network and see if they could get your stuff out.

    Oh, one thing: I'm sure you're no fool, but while a reputable agent will make money when you do, he/she will never ask for money simply to represent your work. If you're asked for money, you're dealing with a scam artist.
  7. Mr Collins is a very caring person.

    Anyone else would have told you the truth in layman's terms eg. you waffle some utter pish.
  8. Aw agents . I tried to get one when I wanted to carve out a career as a screenwriter . They're only interested in published autors which leads to a massive Catch 22 situation :(
  9. If you haven't already, then get hold of a copy of The Writers Handbook (ISBN 0333908120)....and do as the man says....don't give up :)

    Most publishers won't even respond, so to have one that does, gives a decent explanation of their position and encourages you not to give up is worth taking notice of.

    Just looking along my bookshelves and the following seem to have a military bent...Pimlico; Hodder and Stoughton; Macmillan; Pen and Sword; Harper and Collins; Picador; Pan; Bantam.....they are all of a decent size and might be worth approaching. You never know...oh, and don't send to one and wait. Send a sample of your writing to all of them at once.

    Keep trying...:)
  10. Thanks (almost) everybody so far.

    I have already splashed out on the Writer's Handbook though at first, it seemed to pose more quesions than it answered.

    Thanks again.
  11. having spent the last 2 hours reading........... sned them out to EVERY publisher you can think of!!!!!! Superb!!!!!!
  12. By the way, in my professional opinion your stuff is bloody funny. Keeping me from my work, dammit.
  13. The handbook is invaluable, my hint would be to ring the contact from the book and try to make some sort of verbal agreement that at least the person will be happy to accept your sample chapters and in what format. Paper will require double spacing between lines for example as would an email document format. My advice would be don't bother with Pen & Sword mate as Armoured Farmer was congratulated with a lovely letter but, they find humour to be way out of their genre concentrating much more on serious biographies etc, your stuff would probably be waaaaay too funny for their more conservative tastes. SPREAD YOUR NET WIDE....YOU WILL GET PUBLISHED!!!!!!! As already said....loads of publishers/agents at once.....hopefully you'll be deciding who to go with when they fight over publishing you!!!

    Just send four sample chapters from different areas of the book along with a decent synopsis to cover them and see what you get. In the end I paid £500 towards my publishing costs at woodfield but, didn't take into account that I'd basically be responsible for my own marketing for which, I have no time!!! When my second book is ready I intend to go with an agent if possible having learnt so many valuable lessons from book 1!!!!! But, glad to say I've not had anything but praise from those that have bought/read the book. Apart from a guy from Australia who was asked to stop reading it on a tram as his laughter was too loud for other passengers who'd complained?!?!?!?!?!
  14. Thanks A3b, it was of course on your advice I bought the Writer's Handbook but then Monday Books came along. They definitely looked promising and it got (perhaps prematurely) put back on the shelf.

    I think I know what I'll be reading for the next few days. :wink: Glad your book is doing so well, I must get myself a copy.
  15. I bet Im not the only one who wonders WTF that means :?