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#wreckthehoosejuice AKA Buckfast

http://wundergroundmusic.com/scottish-man-accidentally-fingers-own-mum-following-buckfast-binge/

Its seems the health benefits of the tonic wine brewed in deepest Devon by teetotal monks are still the gift that keep on giving north of the Border.

Big question: did the rumour of a future import levy on Buckfast and polling day being a pre-sesh sober-ish Friday combine to scupper the Referendum for the SNP/Yes Vote?


My first (non-participatory) Buckie encounter:

VCP outside Portadawn sometime in July 199-..

Car stops short. Figure backs out of passenger seat, stands up, falls in roadside ditch - soles remain pointing skywards

Car slowly zigzags towards VCP

Driver (mit glassy Grin): Ello!
Me: Good afternoon Sir. Is your friend okay?
Driver: Burble [waves hand around car incorporating a footwell awash in empty buckie bottles]
Me: Ah - Hold a moment [gesticulates urgently for someone to turf the RUC out of their wagon and get them to translate/question/whatever]
Copper: Roads Closed. Bugger off.
Driver: Bleurgh, burble [conducts 16 point turn and drives back down the road past a pair of white trainer soles]

Inspection of the ditch shortly after found the passenger folded up like a diver doing a pike snoring his head off
 
Vile stuff but the true afficionado distinguishes between the hideous stuff in the Green bottle (15% alcohol, 37.5mg/100ml caffine) and the mind rattling Brown bottle offering sold in Ireland which might be a tad lower in booze at 14.8% but makes up for it with 55mg/100ml caffine.

Red Bull offers a paltry 32mg/100ml caffine in comparison.

Mate of mine tells me that in the badlands of East Kilbride some of the more advanced cases take to using it to cut alcohol hand gels. Or lacing it with butane.
 
The court heard that Ian struggled with alcoholism on the weekends owing to his love of banging techno, beak and Buckie.

TA walt
 
Oh his time in Prison is going to go so well when is fellow inmates find out!
Perhaps Ian "Fingers" McCourt might learn from this?

May you go in Peace
 
Im assuming the OP is pissed, it would at least explain how he has not realised he has posted a spoof news article linky

Spoof article not enough an excuse to spin real buckie dits? Naafi bar has been raised....

edit to add: @Lindermyer the sentence
Ian claims that that is the last part of the weekend that he remembers until he found himself “fingers deep” inside his sleeping, wheelchair bound 65-year-old mother Doris’s “fud”.
still has me in fcuking stitches and crying with laughter - had to be shared!
 
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I once made a pan of ham shank & lentil soup shortly after consuming a bottle and a half of bucky and a can of oranjeboom super. It was nice as well. Didn't make a mess in the kitchen either.

True story btw.
 
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