Wouldnt it be funny if....

SCoy

War Hero
#1
This has probably been posted before, but my question is: Do you ever find yourself thinking 'Wouldnt it be funny if I...'?

I'll give a couple of examples.

Driving a milkfloat in each lane of the M25 at rush-hour.
When the lights are red, rushing out, turning over a car onto its roof, then running away.
Hiding a small child/animal in a mates bergan, and seeing when he realises.

Obviously I have never done these, (unfortunatley) but I was wondering if any of youse lot had come up with similar madcap schemes that wouldn't work in real life but sound good anyway.

Now thats done I'll go back to my tax-payer subsidised beer :D
 
#4
Driven a tractor and 30ton trailer along the Western Bypass at Rush ho - hang on done that and it was funny to me at least.
 
#6
307 said:
CS gassed all of someones shreddies. It could work in real life
Deep heat work better mate.
 
#7
Well I need some ideas anyway, my twat of a mate put about half a can of CS onto my pillow and mattress, I go to get my head down not knowing, and bam the snot monster starts to emerge.
 

SCoy

War Hero
#8
A good one i heard about happened to one of my mates. He left his door open whilst popping out and got to find his room empty. THe rest of the day was spent traipsing round campus picking up his stuff, taking phonecalls from the kidnappers :D

The piece de la resistance was that the room wasnt entirely empty...they'd left a bible with 'Thou shalt not steal' highlighted.... :lol:
 
#9
Well perhaps deep heat is a bit extreme the was at the MOs the next day with some bad burns and had to go to hospital to get it chemically washed off and they tell me his sex life has not been the same.
 
#10
some house bricks (or lead bars) into his bergen if you get a chance......right near the bottom.....just before a CFT or other pre-planned walkies.

Just await your chance on a friday night (or start-ex) and bingo. He'll never suss it until home time.

Even better......while he's cleaning his gat at end-ex, if you get the chance, slip them out again. This way, you can re-use the ploy again and again......until sprung.

:lol:
 
#11
if i wnaked into the rsms coffe mug
 
#12
Driving a Chally 2 round the city centre and parking it illegally, so the traffic nazis have to take the photos to proove the case and wham the ticket on. Driving a monster truck over all the queeing cars at rush hour. Riding a bomb right onto the target yes I realise this idea is stolen from hollywood. Giving a tramp a wad of cash.....in monopoly money. Launching a rival to the big issue, sold by well groomed succesful men and women on street corners. Flying round in a blimp and dropping money from the sky.
 
#13
Years ago I jokingly told a bloke who shaved his head to use immac hair leg remover to get a smoother finish and save time...................Well, I didnt think he'd take me serious!!! And he was going on hoiday too. *bites bottom lip* Still feel bad over that one lol.
 
#14
SCoy said:
A good one i heard about happened to one of my mates. He left his door open whilst popping out and got to find his room empty. THe rest of the day was spent traipsing round campus picking up his stuff, taking phonecalls from the kidnappers :D

The piece de la resistance was that the room wasnt entirely empty...they'd left a bible with 'Thou shalt not steal' highlighted.... :lol:
Ggrrr when will students learn to be original, that happened to me the other week the little fcukers. Other than I didn't have a bible so they left my phone, my toothbrush in a cup stuck to the wall (which I never used again) and stuck tissue on my pin board saying I have no self respect (long story).

Carry on this thread though, may give me some ideas to get them all back.
 
#15
Waterproof an entire room, then fill with water, fish and make it into a giant fish tank, which can be seen through windows. Funnier if RSM's office/ prized sports car
 
#16
Take apart all the furniture in their room flat pack it leave them with a screw driver the wrong size screws and set of Swedish instruction.
 
#17
Put a plate in a mates beret once whilst stagging on at catterick - unfortunately guard commander did the fall in the guard trick - poor sod nearly brained himself in his haste.
 
#18
I substituted a frog for a mates fags, in the hope that it'd hop out when he opened the packet.

It didn't work quite as planned as though, as he for some reason didn't smoke for the next hour (very unlike him). As I was starting to worry about the frog's health and well-being I asked him for a fag.......

Cue him throwing the packet across the room without opening it, and one very dizzy frog when I let it out!
 
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