Would you volunteer to give a toss?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by revmodes, Jun 30, 2011.

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  1. No way was i ever going to sign up for the " common cold cure" sessions touted on routine orders at regular intervals by the Porton Down set in the 1960s-80s, or the "trials" held at the NBC school in Winterbourne Gunner, with the promise of additional leave and duty pay for those volunteering.

    But things seem to have changed for the better inducement wise, a nephew in the US has been looking for ways to pay towards his college fees for next term, saw an ad for medical trials, put his name in, full free health check, bloods etc, and an evaluation by a shrink? Got the green light. Now the good part! 16 days in a private clinic/ health spa, all inclusive, the product/drug the male contraceptive. Rules: you must not leave the premises( no problem)

    Provide 2 semen samples per day( again no problem, he will simply have to cut down a bit on his regular routine) at the end of the trial period you get paid..$7250 tax free.

    Would you sign up for one of these/ or have you already done it? That's a fair old lump of bucks for being a tosser, but some of the horror stories over the years would deter me, but there again??
  2. I'd give a toss if the end result was similar to this:

  3. :O and to think all this time i've been giving blood for nothing but a few cups of juice and some biscuits. Where do i sign? :)
  4. Nah! I'm already the product of such trials!!! So I'll give it a miss in case I fuck up their experiment :)
  5. i looked into it when i was a student to boost my income and uk volunteers get peanuts for most of the tests you can volunteer for! your better off sticking to your regular job and putting overtime in!
  6. Doesn't he realise that he can't leave EVER because his genitals will fall off and he'll grow breasts - probably more than 2?

    $7250 isn't much to live off for the rest of your life when mad scientists turn you into a cruel freak of nature like my mate Victoria:-


    She was Miss Dorset before she signed up for some experimental hormone replacement therapy. Now, the only work she can get is advertising PG Tips with a fekkin' monkey.

    To make real cash out of self abuse in America, become a pro sperm donor. If you're in any way exceptional - looks, brains, strength, you can earn an absolute fortune. And, you get to charge porn as a business expense.
  7. I'd pay that much just to have the spare time to knock one out twice a day.
  8. I trust your nephew has read the small print that tells him that the samples will be extracted by means of a massive hypodermic jabbed into his knackers?
  9. A mate of mine was on a round-the-world backpacking session in 1988 when he ran out of money in the US. He enrolled as a sperm donor and effectively wanked his way back across the Atlantic. As far as I know, he went on to train as an airline pilot so is probably doing much the same thing now.

    I think the US changed the law retrospectively on donor anonymity a few years ago. Often wondered if he gets more Christmas cards than he would perhaps like...and how he explains them to his wife.
  10. Zen


    Some place wants you to volunteer to be a wanker? :thumright:
  11. Does that include midget tossing,,,,,,,
  12. We've got the Territorial Army for that...
    • Like Like x 1
  13. 7 grand to strangle the budgie twice a day for 16 days? you'd be shooting dust
    by the end...
  14. I thought volunteering to give a toss would be sperm donation.
    In which cse I would have no problem going to a clinic and being wanked orf by a 20yo female would be well worth a days pay.
  15. fuck only got a £100 no wanking.
    but repeated mri scans being arsed about doing some computer memory test thingy